AIBU to put out sweets for children at a summer party?

[Lotusina]

I’m hosting a summer party soon and although the majority of guests will be late teens and adults, there are a few under10s attending too.

Food will be provided, but it’s a light summer buffet rather than bbq or sit down meal. There will be cupcakes and squash.

I want to make it as festive as possible for everyone, and I’m wondering whether to provide some little dishes of sweets for the kids.

As a parent, would this sit well with you or would it be annoying as hell?

I have no idea what sweets kids like these days, but was thinking of something like the natural confectionery co - would appreciate thoughts on that, or other suggestions.

YABU - don’t do it, their parents will hate you

YANBU - do it, it’s a party FFS

Honestly if she puts out chopped veggies and cut fruit the children will be just as happy.

Children only start asking for junk when it’s put in front of them.

This British tradition of plying children with sugary crap is to make adults feel good about themselves. It’s not about making the kids happy.

And I suppose the adult buffet will be full of healthy staple foods only?

Kids need to learn moderation and that all foods have their place.

I think you’re clearly a lovely host who takes the kids into consideration and not just the adults which is GREAT but as a parent who has never allowed or will ever let my children to eat any form of sweets this would annoy me. Kids don’t need sweets, there is no nutritional value to them and that’s without mentioning the fact they are literal poison. There is no benefit what so ever to handing your child any form of sweets

there is no need to associate a nice time with UPFs and a tonne of sugar.
there is so many ideas you could do, food art with fruit and veggies for example. Home made ice cream. Cakes/brownies with real ingredients and not 100 colours and sprinkles on. Natural coconut sugar is delightful and tastes like caramel.

No, not all foods have a place. Sweets are NOT food. Why have we normalised eating shite so much? Why have we normalised handing our kids a shit tone of e numbers and chemicals in the name of “balance” and having a “good time” ?!

out of absolutely every single food and dish in this world that is made up of incredibly tasty, natural nutritious ingredients why on earth would you hand your kids… sweets?

Because I’m intelligent enough to understand they’ll do no harm in moderation.

I have my children and work with children as well as having lots of family and friends with children. In fact doing anything without children there is a rare event in my life.
Honestly at a party I'd let my 3 year old have some chocolate, but she doesn't have sweets, she is too young and it is too much of a choking risk.
For my wedding as we had from 2 to adult we did a sweetie cart, but we used all prepacked things in big kilner jars, but could easily be done with bowls etc. So there was one of different wrapped chocolate, one of sweets, we even had mini biscuits. We provided little paper bags for people to get there fill and 100% just as much for the adults as the kids!

I'd avoid any loose sweets, prime for a sticky, germy mess, no lolly pops (massive choking risk especially if they are playing), I'd avoid any hard boiled sweets for the same reason. They aren't going to sit their nicely and savour a sweet, they will eat and play, it's what they do 🤷‍♀️😊

Appreciate all the comments here, thank you

I partly agree that children will eat decent food if that is expected, but also have to say I must have spent a fortune on hummus, cucumber sticks and blueberries that never got touched by children at parties.

Well, no, but if she wants her guests to relax and socialise together I'm not sure she'd be keen to willfully introduce a hazard that means they can't.

I tend to fight shy of sweets, and favour biscuits, cakes, fruit and chocolate for treating kids.

A make your own sundae bowl that comes out after the mains have been eaten would be my go to.

Honestly? I’m fucking sick of people practically forcing sweets down children’s throats these days. It’s shocking. Sports teams giving family size haribo bags to 8 year olds (one each), party bags at parties with enough sweets for 10 kids each, school giving sweets as prizes, sleepovers kids bring shopping bags full of sweets. And honestly kids are commonly fat and eating so so much sugar where we live. My heart sinks because when people put out bowls of sweets and free flow candy carts at events my kids also just shovel them in.

so I’d say YABU because sweets are not a treat anymore. They’re disgusting and abused and lazy.

Can you tell I feel fed up with sweet culture?

Coconut sugar is just sugar, no better for you than branded bags of white sugar.

There are a small number of children who can't eat (most) sweets for medical issues, but presumably you'd know if that applied?
If not, should be fine. If you're really concerned about some parents kicking off, have bowls ready in cupboards and check when they arrive. I'd never expect my hosts to modify what they want to do for my kids-if they had an allergy etc, I would always contact the host when accepting invitations.

Its a party , its summer , kids deserve a treat , everyone loved sweets as a child & tbh most adults do now so no your definitely not being unreasonable , go for it , enjoy the summer and enjoy your party x

My 7 year old would prefer chocolate to sweets (M&S do good multipacks of small bags of chocolate buttons) but I really wouldn’t care either way. We don’t really restrict anything and if DS wants to spent all afternoon eating chocolate buttons, so be it. He will soon realise that it doesn’t make him feel great!

I don't think Haribo do any of their vegetarian sweets in the mini bags do they? I've struggled to find non-chocolate vegetarian sweets in mini bags since my youngest went vegetarian so if you know of any options please let me know thanks.

We simply do not live in a society where children eat junk in moderation.

It’s constant.

And the effects are everywhere. I’m late 30s and so many of my cohort have chronic illnesses which are linked to poor gut health. No to mention higher bowel cancer rates and of course the absurd numbers of over overweight young people.

Every instance like this is justified because it’s “just a treat” or it’s “in moderation” or “restriction is bad”.

But in reality many children are offered sweets and puddings every day.

There is no moderation anywhere to be seen.

I can’t believe you have to ask this

This - and people wonder why Novo and similar companies make their money nowadays on medication for diabetics and obese people.

No I think you should hand make a batch or two of organic lentil fudge with raw molasses grown in the foothills of the Andes.
Nah! Of course a few sweets for the children is fine!

We simply do not live in a society where children eat junk in moderation.

Again, this is the responsibility of the supervising parents.

I'd go for lollypops from the freezer rather than sweets that will get sticky in the heat and really would you want to eat sweets after little hands had been in them.

This nails it. Things which genuinely used to be an occasional treat are now every day. And even occasional treats are now bigger and more frequent. Sweets are just constant for most kids.

I wouldn’t remotely judge the OP herself and would just enjoy the party with whatever was on offer. It’s so normalised, I’d think nothing of it.

However I do agree with others about the constant flow of ‘occasional treats’. It isn’t possible to constantly supervise once your children get past a certain age. As PP have said, it’s everywhere. Sweets and icecream vans at school, cakes at dance, weekly parties that are upf central with sweets to follow, grandparents giving huge daily puddings in the holidays . I’m not miserable, my kids have all this stuff, but only really because I know I can’t control it and have to participate in today’s society. But is it a good thing? No.

Also, whatever is in sweets these days absolutely does affect behaviour and how you feel. I’ve felt it myself after eating multiple sweets and witnessed it with my own and others’ children.

I would imagine there will be some sort of sweet item (cake, etc.), can’t everyone just have that? I wouldn’t put sweet things out with savoury anyway, just bring a cake out at the end when everyone has finished with the savoury food.

I’m not against sweets, but they seem to be everywhere and not a treat anymore. Parties are constant for young children (there seem to be 1-2 a week here!). If adult parties are also now dishing out sweets too, it definitely doesn’t feel like a treat anymore. Most children love a slice of cake, or an ice lolly, I would just stick to that.

Totally agree.

My children ate barely any sweets, other than fruit and the occasional ice cream, in the first 3-4 years of their lives. They ate loads of vegetables as part of every meal. I’ll never forget when a friend came for coffee and I was feeding my twins, spreading various vegetables - carrots, cucumbers, bell peppers, tomatoes, beetroot - on the tray of their highchairs. She was astonished to see them munching happily.

And then they started nursery and, over the next few years, they got used to the usual stodge that is fed to children in the UK. We still ate healthy family meals, but they craved carb and sugar heavy ‘treats’ when they came home from school.

Two of them grew out of it and are now adults with healthy diets, but the oldest is stuck in a rut of eating junk food. He is exercise obsessed and consumes lots of whey protein powders, eggs and roasted chicken, but barely any vegetables.