AIBU to put out sweets for children at a summer party?

[Lotusina]

I’m hosting a summer party soon and although the majority of guests will be late teens and adults, there are a few under10s attending too.

Food will be provided, but it’s a light summer buffet rather than bbq or sit down meal. There will be cupcakes and squash.

I want to make it as festive as possible for everyone, and I’m wondering whether to provide some little dishes of sweets for the kids.

As a parent, would this sit well with you or would it be annoying as hell?

I have no idea what sweets kids like these days, but was thinking of something like the natural confectionery co - would appreciate thoughts on that, or other suggestions.

YABU - don’t do it, their parents will hate you

YANBU - do it, it’s a party FFS

Don't put out any sweets until they've eaten some savoury stuff first otherwise they'll go straight for the sweets and ignore everything else.

Hide mini bags of Haribo (sealed packets) and send them on a hunt!

Not just Midlands - I’m south and remember friends having sugar sandwiches!

Sorry I do think this is an old fashioned approach and that many parents of very young children hate all the sweets their kids are constantly given. I personally don’t understand the obsession other adults have with giving junk to other people’s children.

Many parents of young children don’t want their kids to be given sugar at dinner time. They probably won’t say anything but my guess is that at least some, if not the majority, of the parents would prefer you don’t do this.

Yeah, that’s a concern I have and again wouldn’t want to piss off the parents.

Its an indoor party, which might make “monitoring” a bit easier.

Thanks for your reply.

Its the first time I’ve hosted a big party like this for these folks so I guess I’m not seeing it as constantly giving kids sweets, but appreciate if they go to lots of parties it may feel this way.

Literally just a tub of swizzles would go down a treat with my lot. Who's fussy on sweets? And the kids will be hyper at a BBQ anyway. Presumably you're letting the adults drink. I wouldn't bother portioning them out or anything but maybe we have different types of friends.

I’ve spoken to their parents when I arranged catering to make sure there’ll be food they like available (in fact I added to the caterer’s list with some of their preferences).

The sweets thing is an afterthought really.

Also, as an adult, I would like a few sweets too.

I wasn’t thinking of portioning them out specifically, the cupcake case idea was more for a festive look. Others here have recommended individual portions though, but I think more to prevent fallings out.

😂 So would my DH! He’s a demon for Haribo

I wouldn’t do it. But we never gave our kids sweets so it just wouldn’t occur to me.

Cool. I never said she would be.

@Esmeraldathe3rd I am very fussy about sweets, swizzels are like eating paracetamol 🤢

I think this is exactly the issue I encounter as a parent to young kids. Everyone thinks that sweets and cake etc are a special treat when they provide it, but in practice so many people do it that it becomes endless.

Just as an example, i took my child to an outdoor street event at the weekend (people in costumes and music etc) and multiple random people tried to hand sweets to my children.

On Monday this week, i walked past a cafe and some elderly neighbours stopped us to say hello to my kids, and then tried to follow it up with giving them chocolate.

My daughter’s final football class of term recently - complete with a slice of cake and chocolate bars to take home.

My daughter’s first swimming lesson this summer - the teacher brought sweets for the kids to entice them into the pool.

Last night, I hired babysitter for 2 hours
and they showed up with a box of chocolates which they tried to share with my child (and looked at me like I was alien when I said no).

And that’s before you get into daily desserts at school, croissants for “France day”, etc.

I genuinely don’t think many of the people that say “nothing wrong with an occasional treat” realise that in reality it’s nonstop, relentless adults offering sweets and chocolate to other people’s children. It’s not just parties. It’s life.

Obviously, I do my bit to tell my children they can’t have them but then i don’t want to give them a complex or eating disorder by putting junk on a pedestal so it’s difficult to manage.

Haribo yuck. Percy Pigs yuck.

I'd say do chocolate buttons but I realise my tastes are not the same as under 10s :) And I guess they could melt. I like hard sweets like cola cubes but they probably are a choking hazard and are quite difficult to get now, I have to go to a garden centre to get them.

Jelly babies or jelly beans might work?

Little packs of haribo are perfect (have something vegan in the kitchen just in case) but have plenty because adults like them too

It must be.

I never came across that when my DC was small, and I wouldn’t have allowed a stranger to give them anything to eat either. Teachers didn’t provide sweets at all, nor did neighbours. Yeah, I would have found it very bizarre if people had practically run towards us offering things to eat (but I guess you can control that).

Back in my day it was mostly grandparents who liked to give treats, which I didn’t have a problem with. And parties, obviously.

I was thinking jelly babies too, bit of a retro vibe and I think Waitrose do lower sugar.

Choccie buttons would have to get past me first, which could be problematic.

Sweets yes but no lollipops! 😊

perhaps you could do little party bags with a few sweets in each so parents could choose if their kids have them but take them home?

if There was a bowl of sweets half the kids I know would beeline that and the cupcakes and not eat anything else

As long as it's not something they could choke on, I don't care.
Its not about the sweets themselves, but I don't want to have to watch them constantly.

Quoting to say LOVE your username !!!

Here in Ireland when is first communion party season most people would also have a sweet table. Now I don’t know how big your event is but it sounds like it has a similar type of family and friends party vibe. Usually a couple of different types of sweets /jellies / marshmallows and sometimes chocolates. They go down a treat with both children and adults.

Ice lollies work well - younger children will accept things like little judes which have less sugar, but children over about 8 are a bit wise to this and will prefer twisters or cola flavoured calippos etc.

sweets are okay but portioned small sweets are better, ime the children who's parents restrict sugar the most are the ones most likely to greedily take more than their share, then their parents blame the host for providing any sweets at all.

I did a candy buffet and it went down extremely well. Got the sweets from Hancocks, the bags from Amazon.