AIBU to raise a school safeguarding concern after a child’s comment?

[Beula82]

I was at an end of term school picnic with my eldest son. Breastfeeding my baby and a 5 year old girl sibling of his classmates asked what I was doing. I explained baby is drinking milk which my body makes. Don't know child well but she likes my dog so tends to latch on to our family when we see her out and about. Grandad takes her to school, seen mum once, never seen dad.

She then said, roughly verbatim, in a giggle and a whisper, do you want to know about a funny video? (I said yes). There's a funny video of me pretending to drink milk from my daddy. But it was yucky as he has a hairy nipple.

The semi secretive way she shared this and the fact it's a video made me feel uncomfortable. AIBU to raise with school as a safeguarding concern?

You didn't film them actually doing it though I'd assume? A 5 year old actually pretending to BF from their dad would obviously be highly inappropriate. I can't see how you'd be surprised that that is a safeguarding concern. I don't find your 'joke' funny though either tbh, maybe if the kids said it once as a one off but not as some great family in joke. Just a bit odd frankly.

Report it OP, let the safe guarding lead at school decide how to proceed with it. Be completely factual and write it down in as much as you can.

If you DON'T pass this info on, then i'm pretty sure you will be worrying and wondering for years to come and full of regret
Report

You are never being unreasonable or over reacting when it comes to the safety of children better to be safe than sorry your doing the right thing reporting it.

If in doubt report it. Pass it on.

Why on earth would it be 'highly inappropriate'? Just sounds like a goofy kid thing to do to make their parent or siblings laugh. Nipples are not sex organs. Especially in men. Otherwise half the population would be arrested for indecent exposure every hot summers day.

Unclench ffs.

It wouldn’t enter my head to report this tbh. It sounds like the sort of silly my DD at 5 would’ve done.

However, you were the one who was there then and I agree with PP saying, if it feels off, report it.

‘Oh that does sound silly, was it when you were a baby?’

that is all you needed to say and then you would know whether to report or not.

Clearly it’s odd - it’s ridiculous and that’s what makes it funny. It’s odd to me that it’s seen as sexual - but I’m assuming this is because I’m still using them for milk.

Also, ‘pretending to BF’ to me indicates there was likely no physical contact - which is how we have joked. Safeguarding a no contact mimicking of breastfeeding is so OTT.

Report it as factually as possible, leave your emotions out of it but do explain something in your gut is telling you it isn’t right. You won’t be given any “updates” on if/what has been investigated, but it’s better to report and it be a false alarm than it go unreported and a possible situation get worse.

Report it directly via the LA MASH referral form. School will be asked for additional information if needed.

Report. Your gut senses it's wrong.

If it was harmless the father won't have a problem showing the social worker the video will he?

It wouldn’t ring alarm bells with me. When my daughter was little she was always trying to latch on to whoever had hold of her. It happened to my husband a couple of times and I can’t remember if I got a video but I was always recording memories when the children were babies.

why are you concerned?

General rule of thumb - if you’re concerned about ANYTHING then report it. Even if you think you shouldn’t.

If in any kind of doubt report. Please, as a teacher, I always say if you have even the faintest niggling doubt then report it. School will have a fuller picture - there may be a whole host of other concerns that only the DSLs know and any concern raised could be the final puzzle peice that ties things together and which will help them judge the right course of action if needed. If there are no other concerns, then they will make a decision what to do with that information.

Reporting a concern cannot hurt anyone.

Not reporting definitely could.

Report it. It's not your job to judge and nothings going to happen just because of this one report. But It's your responsibility to report it. You may be one of many similar reports that you know nothing about. And this builds a picture. Local authority will be the investigator here. If it's harmless then no problem anyway.

Definitely report it from someone who works in a school. Ask to speak to a DSL and explain to them what happened and what was said. This does not mean social services are going to turn up and take the children! I work in a school where there are various safeguardings every day. Just keeping students safe and giving support and building bigger pictures if required.

But it’s not that is it, because she says ‘it was yucky ‘, and ‘me pretending’, which is not consistent with it being a video of her as a baby.