To let dd15 simply read all summer

[OhLaDiDaDiDa]

Aibu to be okay with dd15’s plan to spend her entire summer reading?

She has GCSEs next year, and I strongly suspect she won’t follow up her plan of studying a few hours very day this summer.

She gets good grades and is a nice girl.

She updated her TBR (“to be read”) list of 100 books and that’s her plan! Some of them are non fiction and the fiction is a lot of “good quality” stuff (not junky AI romantasies!)

Also, she may not mean it literally. I say “ I plan to do nothing but read today “ but what I mean is that will be a big chunk of my time but I do other stuff too.

She's not the OP's husband

What a deeply odd post

I voted YABU just because I think all summer is a bit much and she needs a smidge of balance.

It's marginally hypocritical as I'd have done the same at her age given the chance but I think something like 75-80% reading and a bit of other stuff would be better.

Nothing major or revolutionary but throw in some other things like....

A day out with friends.
Nice lunches out with you and/or her other parent.
Visit a grandparent or other relative.
Some fresh air of some description.
Cook a family meal to share.
Take the bus or train to a nice small town and explore for an afternoon.
Bake something to share with friends or family (and mostly to eat whilst reading!)

I said yanbu but an hours exercise / walk every day

Absolutely let her read. It’s great that she wants to.

You make the daughter sound like a young child. At fifteen she is old enough to know what she wants to do with her free time. ‘A day out with friends” isnt something she can just magic up especially when OP has said most of her friends will be away.

OP implies that’s all she’ll be doing all day every day, not doing any other hobbies and not seeing any other young people - which is of course sad.

I’d rather her be on a screen and gaming, using her brain and interacting with people for at least some of the time if she can’t see any of her friends in person.

I’d also want her to get fresh air and exercise.

I love reading too but even I know it would be unhealthy to do just that for 6 weeks straight.

As I said, she has 16 hours every day and so she has more than enough time to read all of her books and do other things too.

As I said this is just her personality, which is fine and she shouldn’t be pushed into being an extrovert but I would be doing things like visiting where the books are set, going to different book stores or encouraging her to volunteer in the library - anything to get her out of the house and experiencing different things too.

Do you not use your brain when you read?

I spent all of my teenage years reading. Whenever I had the chance, went to the library regularly. It really broadens your horizons, knowledge and vocabulary. I had read most of Thomas Hardy novels by the age of 15. I was well prepared for A level English.

After A levels I was fed up high brow stuff and spent 2 years reading utter rubbish. It was great. I highly recommend reading rubbish.

Then I read war and peace. That is how my reading life has been. After marriage, I was increasingly short of time to read. Whilst on maternity leave, I read daphne du maurier, a few others and most of the Dickens novels.

I studied A degree and masters in literature. Together with reading the complete works of Jilly Cooper.

Kids don't read enough today, she will have an edge on her contemporaries. The day will come when she doesn't have time to read. Let her get on with it.

If she doesn't have friends just balance the reading with family activities. Trips out then reading later. Obviously to do nothing but read wouldn't be ideal, she needs interaction and exercise too.

I do this too.

OP knows her DD and probably knows that when she says she wants to be in her room and read all summer - that’s literally what she means.

So PPs saying yes let her, are probably assuming that she’ll do other things too, where OP is implying that’s the only thing she’ll do.

I am all for letting her read all of her bucket book list but I would also be saying she needs balance and to have exercise and socialise even just a small amount.

I think that sounds like a great way to spend a summer. I'd say leave her to it. I don't think chivvying her into doing other things is necessary, they get enough of that at school. The holidays are a good time to just let her make her own choices about how to spend her time, she's old enough.

You use your brain for everything but things like reading and watching TV are passive actions.

They don’t exercise your brain like some other activities.

So there needs to be a balance.

Reading absolutely exercises your brain. That’s complete and utter nonsense.

My mum made me socialise instead of staying home and reading. I'd rather she had left me to my books to be honest (and I'd probably have had far fewer risky drunken nights in seedy pubs or older boys houses).

Yes you need equal amounts of activity and interaction. Someone reading 100 books in 6 weeks will not have the greatest social skills.

Just take her out op. Museums, walks, swimming. Then let her read later on, she seems to be gearing up for 6 weeks of isolation.

Sorry but that's ridiculous. She's at school all year she'll have more than enough interaction with other people. She isn't going to lose her social skills over the summer holidays. I don't think helicopter parenting a 15 year old is a good idea, she'll be an adult in 3 years let her learn to manage her own time.

You use your brain for everything but things like reading and watching TV are passive actions.

That's nonsense. Pretty much all studies show that reading is very good for brain health. It absolutely keeps your brain active.

Watching TV isn't necessarily 'passive' either, actually. You don't have to be physically interacting with something to be thinking about it and processing it.

Someone reading 100 books in 6 weeks will not have the greatest social skills

That's also bollocks. There's no correlation between reading and social skills.

Honestly, there are some deranged posts on this thread.

Says who? If she’s happy and there’s no underlying issues so what?

Reading has been my stay and comfort.

I read English and worked as a successful journalist for many years.

All the men who fell in love with me were scientists and engineers who loved the way I talked to them. I opened them to Literature, Art , History and Music because these are all bedfellows. Scientists and engineers etc tend to be much more open to these areas than we Arts graduates are attracted to Calculus and The Periodic Table.

That is my personal experience and I realise that one cap doesn't fit all.

I don't work for money now, have a lovely life and spend a lot of time reading. There is plenty of furniture in my head and I am never, ever short of something to say.

My children read, are encouraged to read and we brook no nonsense from the "But will it get you a job?" brigade.

Let your daughter have her summer of reading. At the very least, when she is an old lady, she will always remember her magical Summer of Books.

Friends dd is the same. Friend insists on a walk once a day and dd makes dinner (plans and adds ingredients to food delivery shopping) 3x a week as both parents are working

What a perfect use for the summer. You go dd and enjoy every moment

Poor kid getting dragged out to a museum cos it’s good for you ! If she’s happy wants to go to a museum that’s great but if not getting forced to do something rather than the thing she loves to do makes no sense to me at all