AIBU to think street harassment of women is getting worse?

[Bertiebiscuit]

I'm feeling that street harassment of women by men is getting worse in spite of recent laws. Yesterday i went to Woolwich to do food shopping, with frequent stops to rehydrate and snack. In all 3 public places, sitting on benches minding my own business i suffered 3 different situations of male aggression, random grotty men demanding my attention and calling me nasty names when i ignored them. One half naked sweaty bloke, one random shuffling old bloke trying to get money from me, and 2 nasty blokes smoking dope. For refusing to pay attention to them i got called the usual nasty names men hurl at women when we won't do their bidding. Honestly, women should be allowed to carry tazers. I'm heartily sick of being made to feel i have to put up with this or stay at home.

Sorry, not the point of the thread but how long does it take you to do your food shop if you had to stop 3 times for snacks and drinks?

Those men sound awful, I think I’d consider online food shopping.

Think you were just very unlucky.

Sounds like aggressive beggars. This has been case for ages. Is it great, absolutely not, but I had that in 2008 in city when waiting for buses. To give ewuality credit to some of them, they also called guys wankers, usually guys better dressed like office workers. Some were just aggressive to women.

Also intrigued by how long did the foodshop take tbh🙈

Its unpleasant, but why do you immediately translate it at "harassment of women"? Ive seen intimidating beggars like this targeting men and boys equally.

Just because you are a woman doesn't mean that everything that happens to you is related.

A serious question by the Op and posters are trivialising it asking about their foodshop?!

maybe because someone possibly exaggerating a tiny bit and having to do at least 3 rehydration breaks to pick up some veg and a couple of packs of crisps or whatever, maybe they might be exaggerating the rest of the story?

Or maybe just because it's really funny. How long does a food shop, that you can carry, can be if you need THREE rehydration breaks?😂

Just ignore them and stop letting it bother you

I have just been on the train with my grandchildren. Lovely offers of help with the buggy from kind men. Sixth form lad insisted on giving up his seat so I could sit with the grandchildren around a table. No one name called. Lots smiled and were helpful.
I take them regularly on trains and buses, people are always so kind and helpful. I have never ever had anyone abuse me.

If you want a counteract story, our (quite frankly wonderful) nearly 18 yr old son, went into local big town yesterday to meet a friend, just wandering by the river in the evening, noticed a man randomly feeling up a group of women, then another group.

Son asked one of the women (late 20s/early 30s) if they were ok and needed his help, they said they were fine. Creep then tried it again with another group when two grown men decide to grab him until the police arrived, in the meantime another woman in her 50s caught up to say Creep had also assaulted her.

The first I heard of this was a text from son which just said

“going to be a bit later I need to give a witness statement to the police”

Context child! A “don’t worry we’re fine” would’ve helped!

Just to let you know there are some young men who are sick of the male behaviour as well. He was keen to make sure the police were under no illusions that the men holding Creep down were in the wrong.

It's Woolwich, one of the least pleasant places in London.

@frozendaisy thank you to your son for standing up to the creeps. And to you for raising him so well x

I'm slightly deaf so I end up asking them to repeat themselves a few times!!!

The last time I was hassled was in Feb. I was running through my village and two men with quite heavy Eastern European accents made derogatory comments, stepped into my path, were generally hassling me. I guess they were 30s.

I'm in my 60s and thought I was long past that rubbish. Wtf is wrong with them?

On the other hand, ds' class mates (late teens) are lovely.

There might be a reason the food shop
took so long, eg a disability that hadn’t been mentioned or severe obesity, which may make the OP appear more vulnerable.

No.

On the contrary, I'm in my late 50s and I think harassment is generally less now than in previous years.

It used to be almost impossible to walk down the street without cars beeping and crude words shouted out the windows, or from building sites.

Yet whenever I walk behind young women/girls I no longer see or hear this today.

I'm not saying harassment has anywhere near stopped, but as a Londoner I do think there's less of it compared to the past.

Maybe it’s cos I’m in my late 30s and a mother now but I don’t find this at all. I found when I was younger I got way more harassment than I do nowadays . So I can’t honestly say it’s gotten worse personally for me

That’s lovely. I too have had lots of help and kindness from strangers. But I’ve also experienced a few incidents of harassment and one assault - in ‘good’ areas too in a low crime city.

Im afraid that some men demand women’s attention and get very abusive very quickly if ignored or gently rebuffed.

I really don’t know. My DDs are 20 and 17 and I’d asked them about cat calls etc and they say it rarely happens. I don’t really hear random men shouting at women in the street any more (not at me, I mean at anyone). I went to Seville with DD2 a few weeks ago and she got a couple of leery comments (which provoked the conversation above) and she was horrified.

i’m not saying it’s not still an issue but I don’t feel the days of builders shouting down at women in the street is still around.

Stopping for 3 snack breaks while walking round Tesco would probably explain the obesity.

No

You wouldn't be able to tazze someone for a verbal attack. even if allowed its a level of force required to feel safe and they weren't detaining you so no force was required

Me too. Im sorry it happened to you OP but I'm old enough to remember a time when you couldn't leave your car into a garage without seeing page 3 on the walls . The harassment was everywhere. That sort of thing is less acceptable now thankfully. I do think street sleepers have become more forceful about looking for money as most people dont carry cash any more

In terms of cat calling and the aggression when you don’t respond to attempts to chat you up I have noticed an uptick. And the standing too close and ‘casual’ bodily contact I'm noticing that. I think personally it has more to do with how I look myself than men. It used to be horrendous when I was young then phased off when I had kids/was older. Anyway I’ve lost weight and go out without small children again and it’s happening again when I’d been years without.

it makes it hard to discuss because it’s so offensive to say well if you don’t get cat called perhaps you are too old/overweight/appear unavailable with kids. Because still we place value on looks over more important parts of a person. I know someone in my life who has this attitude it was far worse in the past and us ‘young women’ (I’d not say I’m young!) don’t know how easy we have it now. But I think it’s because middle aged women become invisible to men and she is experiencing that in addition to having gained a lot of weight.

Where do you live? I have never ever had an experience like this and I live in a rough shithole in the NE

It's in Op's second sentence where this happened.