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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is new boss being such a knob?

328 replies

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:10

Our old boss took ill suddenly in December last year and died shortly after. They been the boss for 20+ years, so appreciate we were all very used to them.

Following their illness I became interim boss. In April I was offered the role permanently but declined as it would mean returning to full time work. I'm bitterly regretting not taking it due to new boss!

We're a remote team, have been since many years before COVID. New boss clearly hates remote working. We do have an office, but it seats 10 people and us open to the whole business (approx 300 people) not just our department (40 people). New boss wants everyone in the office 2 days a week. HR have told him to go whistle - we are all on remote contracts and live across the whole of the UK, including channel Islands and 2 in France!

New boss is now insisting we schedule any "coffee breaks" (you know, where you brew up between meetings) and that under no circumstances are we to appear on screen with tea/ coffee if it isn't adjacent to our scheduled break. In addition he's put an embargo on lunch time errands, such as laundry, popping to the post office or collecting the car from the garage. All time is to be accounted for.

As you can imagine, morale has gone down the pan. We're a high performing department, there is 0 issues with productivity. Our work is largely invisible most of the time, lots of thinking time and idea generation which makes monitoring our day to day workloads difficult, but we always exceed our targets at quarter and year ends - so people are clearly working. In the 6 weeks he's been in there's been a noticeable change in how people are working, fewer people on early or late, most just working to their hours.

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a dick and just needs to chill the fuck out?

OP posts:
concertinacornflake · Yesterday 14:27

concertinacornflake · Yesterday 14:25

Surely you can just query this policy with HR or the next line manager up?

You don't have to complain, just ask if it's company policy.

Although it is clearly grievance-worthy.

OriginalSkang · Yesterday 14:27

Why does he think he can tell you what to do on your lunch break?

hydriotaphia · Yesterday 14:28

Honestly I would complain to HR about this. I would expect that they will have something to say about trying to limit what people do in their lunch hour (there is a legal entitlement to a break so he doesn't have a leg to stand on) and about the tea and coffee thing. And even if they don't change immediately, it will let higher ups know he is a weirdo so they will be less sympathetic with him if he performance is poor.

senua · Yesterday 14:28

has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled.
Surely the answer is "DH made it for me". He can't argue with that. Or prove that it's a lie.

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:29

Janefx40 · Yesterday 14:27

What if my DH brings me a coffee? Is that allowed?

He rang me after a meeting once when DH brought me tea and told me it wasn't professional!

I'd understand if we handled personal or sensitive information of any kind, but we don't.

OP posts:
Minasama · Yesterday 14:30

Sounds awful. Who’s the ultimate boss, ie your boss’s boss? Presumably you know them if you were offered the role. Can you have a quiet word with them to find out if s/he’s been asked to put more rigour in or is just being an idiot. I’ve never heard of not being allowed a tea, I would just go off camera. I’ve never heard of not being allowed to make tea whenever I liked except in factory/kitchen type/shop floor type roles.
It could well be they are trying to reduce the size of the team without having to make people redundant as clearly this would be effective.

UpDownAllAround1 · Yesterday 14:30

Micromanaging. Yes he is a knob. When HR see leavers and sickness rising, action may happen

JoanOgden · Yesterday 14:30

Insane. As you were in talks about doing his job, presumably you have a relationship with the higher-ups. Can you schedule an informal catch-up with them and let them know the score? Don't sound whiny, just a bit puzzled. Ask if there's some context it would help you to know as the team is feeling a bit unsettled.

TisEye · Yesterday 14:30

That cup of tea wierdness is the stuff of nightmares and a sure fire way to kill any goodwill and team morale.

Yes he may have been asked to bring more structure, but fundamental change comes slowly - it's never going to work flipping from super chill to micro-managing drinks.

And the seating thing makes him look like a manager who's neither able to plan, nor do simple maths.

It sounds like a drop in productivity, or several resignations are coming - questions will be asked.

Butnotreally1 · Yesterday 14:32

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:29

He rang me after a meeting once when DH brought me tea and told me it wasn't professional!

I'd understand if we handled personal or sensitive information of any kind, but we don't.

Was it during an external meeting and your DH came on screen to deliver it?

CatMum27 · Yesterday 14:33

I used to have a boss like this. It was a nightmare.

i would continue gathering evidence and querying company policy. We did this with nightmare manager and HR had a word so she knocked it off. Not before questioning me in a team meeting about why I had been away from my desk prior to a meeting. I had to explain that bathroom breaks, especially when on my period, were not something I could schedule. Needless to say we were never the best of friends after that.

Sorry you’re going through this OP. I’ve taken over established teams before but I’ve always been really careful to learn the team culture before giving our orders. Sometimes things need to change but this is not the way. The good thing is that managers like this tend to move on quickly (or get moved on) when everyone realises they’re a disaster. Fingers crossed for you.

Butnotreally1 · Yesterday 14:33

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:27

Well he can't, but he's trying.

I'm just gathering evidence at the moment before I raise it with HR.

So far, he keeps calling me immediately as my lunch finishes, like he's watching me. He's doing it to others as well.

Is he doing to all 40 in the team? Was he externally hired?

Waterbaby41 · Yesterday 14:34

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:27

Well he can't, but he's trying.

I'm just gathering evidence at the moment before I raise it with HR.

So far, he keeps calling me immediately as my lunch finishes, like he's watching me. He's doing it to others as well.

That might indicate there is an ongoing issue with people taking more than their alloted time for lunch. So was it framed as 'don't do anything that takes longer than your lunch time' or as you have said ' not allowed to do x,y,z' - first one is quite understandable - second is not.

LeaderBee · Yesterday 14:34

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:21

He said in writing that we were to schedule tea breaks in our diary and not to brew up outside of that and then has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled. He's since advised that if people do have drinks in meetings he will be checking their schedules.

Yet you all work from home, literally 2 steps away from a kettle? What time do they think people are wasting?

Etherealcelestialbeing · Yesterday 14:34

Keep a written log of all his directions including the ludicrous one dictating when you are allowed to make a drink. Send it all to HR and ask for the company policy on coffee breaks and time management.

What an absolute tool OP. I would honestly just smile and continue drinking my tea every time! He cannot realistically sanction anyone over this.

ThisSereneGoose · Yesterday 14:36

Butnotreally1 · Yesterday 14:16

I reckon the previous boss was very very relaxed and the new boss has been given a memo that he needs to bring some more structure and formality to this team

Unlikely, you have to be a complete knob to demand people back in the office in that context for a start, totally unprofessional, read the OP.

All he will achieve is to see people starting to leave.

StealMySunshining · Yesterday 14:36

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:27

Well he can't, but he's trying.

I'm just gathering evidence at the moment before I raise it with HR.

So far, he keeps calling me immediately as my lunch finishes, like he's watching me. He's doing it to others as well.

It sounds like he’s not got a lot of work to do if he’s spending all his time monitoring the lunch breaks and tea consumption of 40 people. What was he hired to do?

MyKindHiker · Yesterday 14:38

This is completely insane for any kind of professional role, which is what I assume you are in given reference to thinking time etc. I think you need to go to senior leadership and ask if these asks are emblematic of what they want from your company and the kind of micromanagement required. If they say yes I'd be looking for a new job. New boss sounds way out of his depth if he's trying to micromanage like this.

Butnotreally1 · Yesterday 14:38

ThisSereneGoose · Yesterday 14:36

Unlikely, you have to be a complete knob to demand people back in the office in that context for a start, totally unprofessional, read the OP.

All he will achieve is to see people starting to leave.

The calling back Into to the office does not make any sense “.

10 chairs
300 employees
40 in his team

and he wants 40 people in 2 days a week. Meaning absolutely no one else in the company would EVER be able to come in to the office.

Butnotreally1 · Yesterday 14:41

Do you suspect he might be singling you out @Buggeroffboss ?

TheyGrewUp · Yesterday 14:45

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:21

He said in writing that we were to schedule tea breaks in our diary and not to brew up outside of that and then has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled. He's since advised that if people do have drinks in meetings he will be checking their schedules.

I'd find it hard to resist saying "the maid brought it"

GeorgeMichaelsCat · Yesterday 14:49

He sounds like a controlling arsehole. I would band together as a team and raise with HR. I make tea or coffee during my work day. Good to get a break from staring at the screen.

Never heard of anyone saying tea and coffee is unprofessional.

Offcom · Yesterday 14:51

How does he have time to do his actual work when he’s on full-time hot drink diary monitoring duty?

Edited to add a potential answer to the question about why he’s being such a knob:
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0749597826000300

Theunamedcat · Yesterday 14:52

Just put a flask in camera shot doesn't matter if its full or not if he tries taking you to task point out you haven't moved you poured it out your flask see if he tries to ban those

Pistachiocake · Yesterday 14:53

Water ok? If it's in a flask or insulated bottle, how would anyone know what it is? Seems daft.
Lunchbreak-even when I worked in an office (these days that job would be wfh) I was allowed to shop on my lunchbreak.
As long as people are there when they're supposed to be, don't see any issue, and he could lose good people. But as the job market is so bad in many places, he might get away with it as people as so desperate.