Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is new boss being such a knob?

427 replies

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:10

Our old boss took ill suddenly in December last year and died shortly after. They been the boss for 20+ years, so appreciate we were all very used to them.

Following their illness I became interim boss. In April I was offered the role permanently but declined as it would mean returning to full time work. I'm bitterly regretting not taking it due to new boss!

We're a remote team, have been since many years before COVID. New boss clearly hates remote working. We do have an office, but it seats 10 people and us open to the whole business (approx 300 people) not just our department (40 people). New boss wants everyone in the office 2 days a week. HR have told him to go whistle - we are all on remote contracts and live across the whole of the UK, including channel Islands and 2 in France!

New boss is now insisting we schedule any "coffee breaks" (you know, where you brew up between meetings) and that under no circumstances are we to appear on screen with tea/ coffee if it isn't adjacent to our scheduled break. In addition he's put an embargo on lunch time errands, such as laundry, popping to the post office or collecting the car from the garage. All time is to be accounted for.

As you can imagine, morale has gone down the pan. We're a high performing department, there is 0 issues with productivity. Our work is largely invisible most of the time, lots of thinking time and idea generation which makes monitoring our day to day workloads difficult, but we always exceed our targets at quarter and year ends - so people are clearly working. In the 6 weeks he's been in there's been a noticeable change in how people are working, fewer people on early or late, most just working to their hours.

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a dick and just needs to chill the fuck out?

OP posts:
Crazybigtoe · Today 18:17

Why would BB suggest grievance if he agrees with you ? Why is it needed? Who is managing your current boss- cause it's clearly not BB.

Sounds fishy.

AgingLikeGazpacho · Today 18:17

RandomMess · Today 17:48

I’m wondering who you work for, my newish boss is much the same but will be harder to get rid of. I do love the sounds of working where you are, any vacancies 👀

One for a manager in about 6 weeks, I guess!

Excellentvintage · Today 18:19

Tell him it is water as the weather is exceptionally hot.

bluepumpkin · Today 18:19

He sounds like he’s got too much time on his hands and is trying to look busy! What a knob. I’ll be interested to hear how you get on!

MapleLeaf190 · Today 18:31

Mh67 · Today 15:52

Lunch time unpaid do what you want.
Tea breaks totally agree if your working why would you be drinking tea its not a break. A glass of water should be allowed.

😂 Imaging thinking you can’t drink tea and work at the same time?! This is nonsense!

I have a tea/iced coffee/etc. on the go all day at work. I even gasp get up at non-break times to warm it up!

Beachheadcoffeehead · Today 18:34

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:21

He said in writing that we were to schedule tea breaks in our diary and not to brew up outside of that and then has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled. He's since advised that if people do have drinks in meetings he will be checking their schedules.

But what if someone else was in your home and made you a brew? Or it’s a heatwave and you need more fluids? I am purely office based and we are allowed to go and make tea when we like…and we visit the loo when needed too! He sounds unreasonable in the extreme.

Andsoitbeganagain · Today 18:40

We had one of these. Filled his day with this exact kind of crap. Became universally hated by most of his team, had a breakdown and left. He may now be working for you OP. Sorry about that.

OneSparklyGoat · Today 18:42

Buy everyone one of these.

Why is new boss being such a knob?
TygerBread · Today 18:43

You need to speak to HR, as a team, about the company-wide policies. This new manager isn’t the head of a small company and shouldn’t be treating staff any differently than how other staff at the company are generally treated in term of working conditions.

Sounds like he is very focussed on presenteeism, rather than monitoring actual productivity. These type of managers are a pain in the ass.

Why is he concerned about what you do in your lunch breaks. That’s the most concerning issues of all here, if it’s unpaid time, he has no rights whatsoever to even ask what you do during that time. The only caveats would be if he suspected someone was drinking alcohol etc and it impacted their performance, or staff are doing something while wearing a company uniform that puts the company reputation at risk (such as getting caught shoplifting).

The only thing I can think of is that because he is so strict on presenteeism, is that he is thinking that lunchtime activities risk leaking into paid work time or lateness to meetings. For example if you go to the post office and get stuck in a queue, do you abandon the task, or do you make yourself late back for work? If you put a load of laundry on, is that completely contained within the unpaid time, or are you having to go back to the machine during work hours to empty it, or running out to pick in washing off the line if it rains suddenly? If you have time-sensitive/performance driven roles, such as working in a call centre, I can see some of the logic of making a statement that lunchtime takes shouldn’t be impacting on anything during work time….but I don’t see how he can ban you altogether provided the tasks are fully contained.

As for the coffee ‘breaks’. How does he know that you don’t have a coffee machine within reach of your desk and you literally press a button, or that you don’t have someone else at home who passed in a drink to you? A cup of coffee, doesn’t mean that you have just taken a break. If avoiding breaks outside allowed times, I would make up a flask in order to have an extra cup available to pour at any point.

He’s being unreasonable, but when speaking to HR, don’t make it too much about the coffee. Instead focus on what the company policy is in relation to DSE, which is covered also by UK law. The general guidance is that you should have a 5-10 min break from working at the screen every hour. So unless your job has non-screen activities, which remote jobs often don’t…you should be getting 5mins every hour anyway as you need to be away from that screen and you have no other tasks. So on that basis, anyone with a cup of coffee is likely to have made it during their screen break, as in theory you could be drinking 1 cup per hour just because those breaks enable a break to make it.

I would also be asking HR/upper management if he was told prior to his first day at work that his team were on WFH contracts and particularly that there are some staff members who live abroad. It’s weird that he wouldn’t know that, and it’s not his place to change something that is obviously already approved higher up.

It sounds like he is just wanting to unsettle and bully the team, and is generally an asshole. I’ve met bosses like this. The best way to deal with it is to try to get together as a group and ask HR for clarification of the company polices and make it clear to him that he can’t just make up all his own rules. Try not to make it too personal complaining about him to HR, because HR tend to support the manager in order to protect the company and often don’t give a toss about affected employees…make it about clarifying the very basics of company policy on working conditions in a positive way, you can use something like the phrase “we are asking for clarification for the wellbeing of the team, which we currently feel is being negatively affected by changes to basic working conditions, which we believe are not in accordance with company policy, our contracts or with DSE regulations” and not making a formal grievance about him. When you do that, HR and management often close ranks and go into defence mode in fear of ending up in a tribunal.

Also, as a group, ask for clarifications to be made in writing. You then have firm group to tell him “no”, if you have it in writing you can leave your desk for 5mins every hour for example, if he states you can’t.

Also, what happens if you need the toilet? Do you have to put that in your calendar for the entire company to see? That could be discriminatory, if someone on the team has a medical issue they want kept private and goes more frequently.

Oldgum · Today 18:43

Crazybigtoe · Today 18:17

Why would BB suggest grievance if he agrees with you ? Why is it needed? Who is managing your current boss- cause it's clearly not BB.

Sounds fishy.

That is a damn good point

The big boss suggests a grievance rather than actually…managing him?

RandomMess · Today 18:45

A grievance makes it easy and quick for BB to get rid.

OneSparklyGoat · Today 18:49

It’s much easier to discipline or terminate someone when there is a formal grievance.

GreenFootstool · Today 18:51

Wide ranging formal grievance from multiple staff.

It'll be like a Big Brother eviction.

Or the Weakest Link.

Moveoverdarlin · Today 18:54

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:21

He said in writing that we were to schedule tea breaks in our diary and not to brew up outside of that and then has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled. He's since advised that if people do have drinks in meetings he will be checking their schedules.

I’d be so tempted to go on screen with a teapot, elegant cup and saucer and to very gracefully pour myself a cup whilst gently whistling.

Oldgum · Today 18:56

OneSparklyGoat · Today 18:49

It’s much easier to discipline or terminate someone when there is a formal grievance.

Yes I know
but rather than actually manage him, or at least attempt to… the big boss just tells someone to submit a grievance. Doesn’t reflect well on him

Presumably they hired this guy for a reason. Added to which it is expensive and time consuming to hire at this level.

Seems odd just to say…. Yep, he’s a twat, submit a grievance. When the company will have expended considerable time and cost in hiring him, for a reason.

Surprised not even at attempt to manage him or at least speak to him before saying “grievance !!

added to which, he’s on probation so no need to anyway.

Newtojak · Today 19:14

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:21

He said in writing that we were to schedule tea breaks in our diary and not to brew up outside of that and then has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled. He's since advised that if people do have drinks in meetings he will be checking their schedules.

Make a flask of coffee / tea at the beginning of the day / at lunchtime. Conspicuously drink during meetings and when queried pull out the flask and explain you are not wasting time brewing up, but pouring from a pre-prepared flask. He is a micromanager and will soon get bored...

pouletvous · Today 19:24

is he departmental boss or company boss?

can you have discrete word with the person above? Just say morale is low and the drinks thing is ridiculous

OneSparklyGoat · Today 19:25

Oldgum · Today 18:56

Yes I know
but rather than actually manage him, or at least attempt to… the big boss just tells someone to submit a grievance. Doesn’t reflect well on him

Presumably they hired this guy for a reason. Added to which it is expensive and time consuming to hire at this level.

Seems odd just to say…. Yep, he’s a twat, submit a grievance. When the company will have expended considerable time and cost in hiring him, for a reason.

Surprised not even at attempt to manage him or at least speak to him before saying “grievance !!

added to which, he’s on probation so no need to anyway.

Edited

They are going to fire him while he’s still on probation instead of trying to fix him. He’s a poor fit and they don’t intend to put the team through any more. They need the documentation.

That’s leadership.

Taking months to “try” instead of recognizing this now would be a mistake.

LittleGreenShoots · Today 19:29

Buggeroffboss · Yesterday 14:25

No. I guess because it's harder to evidence when they got them - my water bottle lasts me all day.

you should get everyone on the team to work to protest. Everyone drinking from a mug everytime they are on screen with him, when asked everyone just says it is water. Just think of a whole screen full of you all drinking from mugs every team meeting- just glorious. I'd like to see him taking it up with HR that you aren't drinking water from the proper receptacle.

Futurehappiness · Today 19:30

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · Today 16:44

The only trouble is (from past experience) that unless he’s done something which involves sacking him immediately, even with a grievance he can cling on for a while, at least until his probation is at an end. Someone more HR savvy may put me right though.

It is straightforward to dismiss somebody with less than 2 years' service as they can't claim unfair dismissal (though that is set to change from next year when it will reduce to 6 months,,,,but for now he has very few rights). Unless he can claim discrimination due to some protected characteristic eg a disability the boss has which no provisions were made for...no evidence suggests that is the case.

Probation has no legal implications at all, just a window for both parties to decide if the job is a good fit. So no there is no need to wait till probation ends, that wouldn't make sense if it is clear that things haven't worked out. I think that racking up multiple staff complaints in just 6 weeks is evidence enough of that!

Oldgum · Today 19:32

OneSparklyGoat · Today 19:25

They are going to fire him while he’s still on probation instead of trying to fix him. He’s a poor fit and they don’t intend to put the team through any more. They need the documentation.

That’s leadership.

Taking months to “try” instead of recognizing this now would be a mistake.

You don’t need documentation to end someone’s probation. You just have to give them notice. Usually only a week if during probation.

Crazybigtoe · Today 19:35

OneSparklyGoat · Today 19:25

They are going to fire him while he’s still on probation instead of trying to fix him. He’s a poor fit and they don’t intend to put the team through any more. They need the documentation.

That’s leadership.

Taking months to “try” instead of recognizing this now would be a mistake.

That is definitely not leadership

Calmdownfolks · Today 19:35

Is he American? Does he think if he's exceptionally unpleasant, he'll be promoted as the easiest way of getting rid of him? Sounds a nightmare.

SylvanMoon · Today 19:36

RandomMess · Today 17:48

I’m wondering who you work for, my newish boss is much the same but will be harder to get rid of. I do love the sounds of working where you are, any vacancies 👀

I think there's one going to be coming up in a few months at the OP's place 😉

Oldgum · Today 19:36

Crazybigtoe · Today 19:35

That is definitely not leadership

Exactly

He just tells the op to submit a grievance. I mean… wtf? He hired him. The company would have invested so many time and money in to recruiting someone at this level.