AIBU to find my one child-free day disappears on chores?

[isthisaplum]

My older child is at school; youngest starts preschool in September. This gives me a day a week to myself; I was so excited.

But after a quick supermarket shop and catching up on housework the day has almost gone. I think my dreams of actually reading again, having a proper exercise programme and catching up with friends may have to wait.

Perhaps boarding school is the answer …

Seriously, anyone else found this?

This is just life I think, there’s lots to do!

You are probably less organised subconsciously knowing you can do it on your day off… vs if you were working full time.

Try to pretend you are working full time and so need to fit in chores etc during working days/when your DCs are around. Allow for one half day a month on your day off to complete admin tasks that need focus, peace and quiet. Then actively schedule in activities into your calendar (meeting friends, visiting galleries, fun shopping, gardening, even reading) so you don’t get tempted to just end up doing chores because you’re not excited and anticipating doing planned fun stuff.

It's not long between dropoff and pickup. I think you can be more intentional with your time. Eg. Order shopping one evening and get it delivered. Split housework with your partner and across the week. Then you'll have more free time to do what you want to do. My Friday thing is a yoga class every week and I fit others things around it.

Click and collect or home delivery!

Can you do an online shop? I don't have any days to myself but would never consider using half a day at the weekend to do a supermarket shop. I would advise doing exercise at the start of the day and then making the chores fit into the rest of the time available.

Do a click and collect or home delivery. Allocate 2 hours for house stuff, then go out- you won't read at home. Go to a pub/park/beach and turn your phone off. Or book an exercise class. Your kids are old enough you can do house stuff whilst they are there.

I found it was similar for me when I worked 4 days as well. Most of the day was taken up by sorting bits. Sometimes shopping for things we needed, or sometimes just for myself. I did get shopping delivered to save time and tried to do the washing the day before etc. I got some time to myself on my day off but not all day or very long. Maybe an hour or so. My children are a little older now so have gone back full time as seemed a waste having the day off and earning quite a lot less. Yes it makes it a little harder to get some jobs done but just have to do it between work or in my lunch.

I do the grocery shop online
i I have a cleaner every fortnight
even if the house is a mess I go for a walk/jog myself on that one child-free morning I have

You have to learn to get comfortable with ignoring unfinished jobs during relaxation time and protecting it.

We get taught that we have to finish everything before we are allowed to switch off and have fun, but there is always another task, another "I'll just do..." or "It'll only take a second..." and before you know it your chance is gone.

Work seems to expand to fill any available time. Extensions just increase the scope of the project. Fence off your me-time and enjoy it guilt free.

Well, it isn’t just the shop though. That was today, but on other occasions it can be things like some sort of administrative thing, car needing an MOT, hair appointment, doctors, dentist, leg wax, of course some of these aren’t strictly essential but it has surprised me how quickly the day has gone!

The best thing would be to book or commit to something so that you have to go out of the house and do it.

I also work 0.8 and would normally do a gym class that day and an evening thing. About once a month I go out somewhere with friends or my mum. I'm a teacher so it does mean working the weekend if I actually take the day properly off, but what the hell, I'm not paid for it!

I’m a teacher too funnily enough

If you want the time you have to be ruthless about prioritising it. I have two afternoons a week where from 1-3pm I am neither at work nor with the children. Obviously that's only really time to do one thing each day - so I am completely unabashed about choosing to spend that time doing something for me on at least one of those afternoons. I drive off for a swim, or to a yoga class, or go for a walk or take myself off to a coffee shop with my book, just ignoring the state of the house I've left behind. I treat it like I would treat having made plans with a friend. You could potentially split your day in two and use one half for chores, the other for you - if you do that I strongly, strongly suggest the you bit is the morning.

I don't think a hair appointment or leg waxing count as chores! If you worked Monday to Friday you'd be getting your hair done on Saturday, or not getting it done, and dehairing your own legs if you so choose, but really those are not chores!

Also you can read at the hairdresser's...

Really - do leisure morning and "chores and stuff" in the afternoon on your weekday off if you actually want to have time to exercise and read. If only the appointments fit into the afternoon the rest can be done in the evening or at the weekend.

I went with the AI title but I guess I meant it just vanishes on stuff somehow

I’ve spent the last five and a half years longing for a chunk of time to myself and now I’ve got it there’s so much I’m trying to cram into it I seem to be always meeting myself coming back.

How often does DP or DH use up ‘me’ time doing chores ? Thought not.

She's said that she's parenting alone.

Hold on - can you explain what you mean by "I just went with the AI title" - where did an AI title come from?

Are some posters getting AI prompts when they post? That could explain a lot... generally rather than with regards to your post OP. I'd really like to know if you can explain?

When you start a thread MN suggests a title and I went with it.

Well that's a hideous development which explains why so many thread titles don't actually match the situation that unfolds when the OP posts!

Why on earh have @MN done that! Are MNers now judged too illiterate to write their own titles?

Online grocery shopping is a game changer afaic and then do small household tasks everyday so you aren’t saving them for your one free day. Also don’t set your hopes up too high at first, settle for a child free, chore free afternoon or morning rather then a whole day and build from there.