AIBU to wonder if giving cash to a stranded tourist was naive

[LovingLilacDuck]

I just got approach by a tourist woman in Paddington who said she got her purse stolen in Oxford Street. She asked me for some cash as she had to put blockage on all her bank cards because they were stolen. And she needed the cash to go to her hotel or something like that. She was good looking, she said she was a lawyer from Amsterdam and was soft spoken but also a little nervous. And she was so happy when I gave her the cash that she gave me a hug and thanked me in a genuine way.

I helped her because she seemed genuine. Of course, there is a chance she could be a scammer herself so a part of me feels a bit sad and naive. But I just want to hope that she wasn’t and I helped a woman in need.

What would you do in this situation? I am just curious. xx

This is a very common scam in London.

Women are used because they’re more likely to be trusted by members of the public. It’s a widespread tactic and largely controlled by criminal gangs.

Unfortunately many of these very vulnerable women who have been pulled into the orbit of these gangs have been trafficked or abused in some way.

You are perpetuating the problem by giving them money.

I get it all the time as a Londoner and no matter how nicely spoken or dressed, if you look closely, the signs of drug use are always there. They’ll be very jittery, teeth, hair etc will be in poor condition, and possibly sores etc.on their skin. If you aren’t familiar with drug users, you can miss it, but to the trained eye it’s obvious.

Don’t give them money and if there is a police presence nearby, report immediately. These women need more help than your small change can give.

It was a scam. This type of approach always is.

We had someone like this when leaving an evening event in a city centre. A Christmas light trail in a park. My two older teens were walking ahead and a well dressed woman approached them claiming she'd been robbed and she needed cash to stay in a hostel overnight while she sorted things out. We caught up and she asked us for cash as well. None of us actually had any cash on us as it was a pre-paid event.

I told her about the event that was going on and said there were lots of people leaving if she walked back up the road we came down she might find someone with cash. She thanked us and started to head that way but then ducked down a side street in the opposite direction and disappeared.

I've always wondered if she was just a scammer as if I was genuinely in need, I'd have approached the Christmas lights event and tried to find help there.

You are obviously a very kind person OP but you need to wise up . An obvious scam - lawyers from Amsterdam don’t need to ask strangers for cash…

Im afraid this does sound like a scam. You shouldn't have given that amount. 🙁
The information about being a lawyer is most likely a fake story.
If my things had been stolen, I'd be worried about reporting it to the police rather than asking people for money.
Oh well you learn from your mistakes.

Yes I agree with this.

Yes - I don't think that was implied here in the first place - but of course.

I wouldn't have given money, I probably would have pretended I didn't even see her 😅

Did she offer to repay you? Or give you her details (email etc)?

Stranded tourist my arse. Had she really been a "lawyer from Amsterdam" she would have known to go to the Police, and have knowledge of methods for getting funds sent to the UK for her.

Yes OP you were very naive.

The poster I originally quoted said that it doesnt matter if its a scam or not, you did the "right thing".

Sorry, but thats wrong. Of course it's wrong. If someone online targets a vulnerable person for example, and spins them a sob story and they PayPal them money as a result, I doubt people would be saying "it doesn't matter if they were scammed, they did a good thing".

Someone being scammed doesnt make the world better or more positive, all it does is leave people feeling jaded and abused and less likely to want to genuinely help next time.

honestly you sound very naive...nobody actually 'needs' cash for travel nowadays? digital wallets?
sometimes us softies have to learn lesson the hard way...I have been swayed (scammed) by a sob story too !

I also think this line of thinking is inherently flawed. If nobody gave to scammers then they wouldn't scam. But people do, because it gives them the warm fuzzy feelings of being a "good person". Just as when there are threads on here from a single mum with no family, living up a mountain 20 miles from the nearest town who has run out of formula for her triplets on a Sunday - people fall over themselves to paypal money to her.

Maybe her next victim will be someone who can't afford to be scammed, someone vulnerable or elderly.

Practical advice is fine, but never give cash.

As long as you could afford that amount its fine. No point in over thinking about the situation.
Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to afford that, so I wouldn't be able to offer that amount in the first place.

Definitely a scam. No one needs a taxi, she had a phone she could have used to contact someone she knew, how was her purse stolen but not her phone and who uses purses now? I am a lifelong user but now I don't use cash, I don't need one. I carry a card in my phone case and have them online anyway.

I wouldn't panic if I had a purse stolen anyway - I might if it was my phone. In fact my purse was stolen or lost on a bus a couple of years ago and I reported it and months later got a message to say it had been found and I could travel to the depot to get it but would need to pay £5 for the privilege. I ignored it as I'd already replaced all the cards I needed to.

I think some scammers are desperate and I really do not think they are all part of an elaborate gang network or live in nice homes.

A few months back I was approached by a white English man in his fifties when getting out of my car in a hospital car park. He was not particularly well dressed and a few feet away was his "partner/wife" who was better dressed. Great place to do a scam as in a hospital car park most people will likely be already distracted by why they are there in the first place.

He asked me for a few quid to put on his oyster as he lost his money and just needed to get home. I think the "wife" was there to give credence to his story. I declined saying I didnt carry cash and she said a lot of people have said that.

Later on I thought about it - it is obviously a scam but at the same time they probably are desperate for the money. I mean what lengths to go to just to get a few quid - I know that in a hour of asking loads of people they could probably make a pretty penny but its still quite desperate.

I wonder if I should have just given him a couple of quid. I mean begging is better than mugging people.

One of my DB's works in a church on the main road of a large city. He has a constant stream of people with hard luck stories who urgently need cash. He always offers to take them to a nearby Tesco Express to buy them a meal deal but they never want that, they just want cash.

He had one who told him a heartbreaking story about needing to travel up north to visit family urgently and offered to walk with him to the train station to buy a train ticket, but that person disappeared as soon as they realised they weren't getting cash!

It was highly likely to be a scam. I remember 40 years ago going to stay with a friend in London. A woman who was probably in her 40s handed me a note without saying anything. The note said something along the lines of her needing help to feed her children and could I give her money. I was naive and didn't know what to do. My friend quickly gave it back to her and told me that it happens all the time.

I have given money in similar circumstances, DH & I both thought could have been a scammer, but could have been genuine. I would do the same again.

Totally agree with this.
Its abuse of your trust, when someone takes money through deception.

How did she get to Paddington?

To check if you would fall for her scam. I live in London and have been approached by quite a few smartly dressed professional mostly women trying this scam with me. Sure it happens in other cities too

I helped someone like this and then found out after they are someone who does it regularly cos friends had encountered the person as well. Apparently the person I engaged with was a high functioning drug addict scammer. I won’t be caught again

I'm wondering if it's the same woman who tried that trick in Barcelona when I was there ? I watched her con people on 3 consecutive days !

I think asking you if you are from London first was a major red flag! If you’d answered yes then she would have gone on to another tourist! As a Londoner would have known it was a scam. Why walk around asking strangers? Wouldn’t a normal person ring their bank, friends and family or even police & hotel staff. It’s all odd. I caught a regular train where a man always walked along the carriages asking for a pound. Most people ignored him, some gave him the pound. He did it all along the carriages until he reached the main city then switched to a train coming back again. Apparently he does it all day!

It's an expensive hug, but money well spent if you needed one!

You'll never know if she was genuine or not. Why not go for the "glass half full" and rejoice in your good deed 🌞