My husband is unhappy that we only have sex once or twice a week. I'm not naturally a very affectionate person, so I think that probably makes the situation feel worse from his perspective.
The issue from my side is that I carry the vast majority of the mental load and household responsibilities. I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing up, meal planning, food shopping, managing our finances, preschool and school runs, communication with the school and preschool, organising and attending playdates, and I'm also the one who gets up with the kids every morning. By the end of the day, I'm mentally and physically exhausted, which leaves me with very little energy or desire for sex. It also doesn't help when he tries to initiate by groping me while I'm in the middle of housework.
He doesn't seem to understand the connection between the imbalance in our daily lives and my lack of libido, and it often leads to arguments. For context, he works one or two more days a week than I do, but we earn similar salaries and contribute equally financially. Before we met, he worked very long hours, relied on fast food, and had a cleaner, so many of the domestic responsibilities weren't things he had to think about.
Am I being unreasonable for not making more of an effort with intimacy? If not, how do I help him understand that what happens outside the bedroom has a huge impact on what happens inside it?