To think I could be pregnant?

[Throwstonesbreakbones]

I am 44 with 3 primary aged kids who were all conceived easily in my mid to late thirties. I had the youngest when I was just turned 40. Anyway we are done having kids and as soon as my periods returned when I stopped breastfeeding, they were all over the place. Some 20 day cycles, some 40 day cycles etc and my longest yet was a 47 day cycle in May 2025.

Anyway I am on a new cycle and it is now day 53. Absolutely zero sign of anything happening, feel completely normal: not like a period is trying to start or anything. Up until now I was fairly certain this was just all perimenopause related as we 'always' use condoms: until yesterday when I looked back over my period tracking app and for some reason I had recorded that I'd had unprotected sex on Day 5 of this cycle. I had also recorded ovulation pain 5 days later, but also another 7 day later I had recorded very bad ovulation style pains (I had to take paracetamol which was unusual).

Anyway now I am freaking out that I could be pregnant. I am currently staying with my in laws in their holiday home in a remote area and won't realistically be able to get into the town to get to a pharmacy or supermarket until tomorrow at the earliest.

I need to prepare myself for the chance it will be positive. AIBU to think there is a reasonable chance?

I really hate the uncertainty of perimenopause and where my mind goes to as my cycle stretches out like this!

I’d do a pregnancy test op and take it from there ( once you can get into town to buy one)

You seem unsure about whether you had unprotected sex. Surely you'd remember?

If you did, then there is a chance you could be pregnant.

No i did, I had just forgotten

Of course you could be pregnant. It could be perimenopause either . Do a test and keep us updated . Best of luck with whatever result you would prefer

Well obviously you could be pregnant. If you don’t want to be why didn’t you use protection? Good luck.

I’d say, of course you could be pregnant! Only a test will tell 🤷🏻‍♀️

While I have the odd short cycle they are normally really long, averaging around 37 days most months. I think I thought day 5 was safe because I dont tend to get any ovulation symptoms until around day 20. Normally. Or maybe my body just tried to ovulate a few times and it never happened. Hopefully. If I am pregnant I would be around 7 weeks. No symptoms but I never do at the start. I will report back. I just wanted to prepare myself. Did anyone's menopause go like this...just cycles getting further and further apart?

Why don’t you just take a test?????

It’s unlikely but never impossible till your periods have stopped for a year so just test and you’ll know. But really this is normal peri symptoms at your age so I wouldn’t panic yet

She’s explained very clearly why she can’t do this at the moment. She’s worried and is just working through what’s happened.

@Throwstonesbreakbones at 44 its still perfectly feasible to get pregnant if you're having unprotected sex so as your periods are erratic then you'll just have to take a test to find out.

Four kids will mean a BIG car!!!

Definitely feasible, if there’s anyway you can get a test today I would. Amazon prime maybe? I would go crazy having to wait 24hrs

Yes. You could be pregnant. You seem very tuned into your body so do you feel different? In the 40 odd years I had periods I never ever detected ovulation! Normal peri symptoms are definitely longer times between periods, so it could be that.

My sister in law was driving into the main 'town' earlier so I went with her but she didn't leave my side and I didn't want to tell her the situation. I haven't even told my husband. I don't know why. I just feel so silly! So I still don't know if im pregnant or not.

Anyway I did get a few crampy feelings earlier so that has reassured me a bit. I am indeed very in tune with body @JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn but in early pregnancy with my other kids I didn't feel any different until around 9 weeks at the earliest.

I am guessing that it is just a long cycle, a perimenopausal thing and this is just what happens at my age. I don't think I could really have got pregnant from sex so early in my cycle although it isn't impossible.

I am going to resign myself to the fact it is probably peri but test the next chance I have over the next few days.

Amazon would not work by the way, unless I concocted a story or maybe ordered something else but I know everyone will wonder what I have ordered 😆 I can just imagine my in laws all standing arpund me holding a package saying 'go on, open it!' 😄 but that might be my paranoia speaking.

Was there really no way you could have just read the post to find out?

Are there absolutely no shops nearby? Not even a Co-Op or something? Could you pop out “for a walk”? Or to get something for dinner?

Good luck! Sounds like perimenopause. But you obviously should test asap to set your mind at rest.

Holiday home, remote area, pharmacy or supermarket in nearest town. Them's the facts, I'm sure @Throwstonesbreakbones knows what she's talking about.
Can you get to town tomorrow on some pretext or other @Throwstonesbreakbones?
You need a... particular shampoo because the one you have seems to be suddenly making your scalp itch. Or a couple of the pairs of pants you brought with you have gone into holes so you could do with a few new pairs. Or you're hankering after a particular food that isn't in the house. Any excuse to pop into town alone.
Best of luck.

There’s no point analysing it when you can find out in two minutes by doing a cheap test.

Could you really not have read the OP?

OP, I’d say there is a reasonable chance you could be pregnant. Although your cycle lengths vary a lot, 44 is quite early to be getting to the stage of infrequent periods (but possible). It could also be other endocrine issues worth checking out eg hypothyroidism which can affect cycle length & would be common.

It’s obviously impossible to know until you test; good luck with the wait!

Ok didn't think it would be necessary to spell it out but I cannot easily get to a shop that sells pregnancy tests.

I am not in the UK. I am staying with in laws in a remote place and I cant drive here (not that I would want to if I could). Some people I'm staying with have a car and I don't feel like I can just ask them to bring me to the main town unless they are already going. My scalp is actually itchy and I do need to buy Head and Shoulders so good shout @TemporarilyCantDoMyself !

There is a bus that goes into the main town but its a fifteen minute walk to the bus stop and it is extremely, extremely hot. Even then the buses are apparently unreliable and irregular (like my periods!).

It just dawned on me yesterday that the long cycle might be pregnancy related and I wanted some company in the situation while I waited for an opportunity to buy a test. Its not like being in the UK where I can pop to my nearest Tesco or Home Bargains. I am out of my comfort zone and far from my usual conveniences.

We are here for another week so I will get a chance at some point.

Would it be the end of the world if you were pregnant?

Hey thank you for the messages. I thought it was normal enough as my mum started the menopause at 39 so I assumed I was going through it early too. I will look into the endocrine stuff too though I am in very good health and have no complaints or other weird symptoms.

No. My husband might need therapy to get his head around the idea 😄 he wouldn't be happy and but things would all work out.

I’m peri and I have had a 53 day cycle which followed a 22 day one. May have always been irregular but not like that.