To think I could be pregnant?

[Throwstonesbreakbones]

I am 44 with 3 primary aged kids who were all conceived easily in my mid to late thirties. I had the youngest when I was just turned 40. Anyway we are done having kids and as soon as my periods returned when I stopped breastfeeding, they were all over the place. Some 20 day cycles, some 40 day cycles etc and my longest yet was a 47 day cycle in May 2025.

Anyway I am on a new cycle and it is now day 53. Absolutely zero sign of anything happening, feel completely normal: not like a period is trying to start or anything. Up until now I was fairly certain this was just all perimenopause related as we 'always' use condoms: until yesterday when I looked back over my period tracking app and for some reason I had recorded that I'd had unprotected sex on Day 5 of this cycle. I had also recorded ovulation pain 5 days later, but also another 7 day later I had recorded very bad ovulation style pains (I had to take paracetamol which was unusual).

Anyway now I am freaking out that I could be pregnant. I am currently staying with my in laws in their holiday home in a remote area and won't realistically be able to get into the town to get to a pharmacy or supermarket until tomorrow at the earliest.

I need to prepare myself for the chance it will be positive. AIBU to think there is a reasonable chance?

I really hate the uncertainty of perimenopause and where my mind goes to as my cycle stretches out like this!

Why is he having unprotected sex then?

If you can get to a pharmacy, I'd be getting some folic acid too.

Do you speak the local language. I vividly recall charades with a male pharmacist in Bangkok whilst trying to find tampons!

Sure, could be pregnancy, but I’m 45 and my cycles averaged about 75/80 days at 44. Currently, this year, I’ve had one period and a 108 day cycle. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think it’s much more likely to be perimenopause. Did you have strong symptoms in your other pregnancies? I’ve had 3 as well and felt absolutely horrendous from about 10 dpo. There’s no way I would have not noticed I was pregnant.

Well it’s pointless asking us if you’re pregnant too…

OP is using MN to chat about the likelihood or otherwise of being pregnant, while she waits to take a test. It’s a distraction as well as ways to hear from others who have experienced similar.

Kind of the purpose of MN really.

Thank you @EarringsandLipstick

I actually feel really stupid about this. Ordinarily I would be straight into my local Tesco the second I had a doubt but I can't do that now. Once I realised that pregnancy was a small but present possibility I have been swinging between feeling pretty sure its just perimenopause and then becoming acutely aware that I don't know it for sure. Then I feel stupid for thinking its a possibility, then stupid for having let it be a possibility, then stupid and powerless that I am relying on other people for lifts and feeling too silly to ask for a lift even under a premise of needing shampoo or something. I am just going through a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings and I think some of the harshness isn't needed but it is AIBU I guess. Chatgpt.com has been giving me reassuring statistics and surprisingly humane comfort. I will bow out now ladies but will return with a result for anyone reading in the future.

Listen, I got pregnant almost a year after my husband had a ‘successful’ vasectomy whilst going through perimenopause.

If your having sex, and still having periods you can be pregnant.

Don’t feel stupid OP! It’s a very common situation & perimenopause makes it all the more uncertain.

Add in being away & unable to immediately confirm & I can imagine the confusion of feelings.

Hopefully you can get a test tomorrow &
know for sure x

How come all these posts always have an OP that can't get to a pharmacy to take a test? They always have multiple unforseen circumstances as to why they can't get a resolution to the question that they seemingly think strangers over the Internet must know.

I mean, I guess if those posters could get a test easily, they wouldn’t be wondering, so wouldn’t post.

It’s not that deep.

Sure they would wonder maybe over night and get a test the next day as OP said she was going to. But then the story with the SIL... most people would just excuse themselves in to a chemist with a made ailment like thrush or something. But then that doesn't drag the thread out in to a another day or more does it?

your posts are pretty horrible. OP can post what she wants, you and I can read and respond, as we wish (or not). Stop judging her for her choices, no-one is compelling you to post a response.

It’s not an AIBU though is it?

I really want to know where you are in the world OP.

Hi all, just to update you that I got my hands on a test and it was negative. Thanks for all of the support in the wait.

If you can’t imagine a place where women are not allowed to just pop out alone and buy health basics like pregnancy tests without explaining to those around them what they’re doing then you lead a life of luxury.

Thanks for the update. Hopefully you can enjoy the rest of your time away.

When you get home, have you considered using a longer acting contraceptive or DH getting the snip? I found contraceptive clinics at my local sexual health clinic much better than my GP and practice nurse for contraceptive advice. They all run menopause clinics- which many people are unaware of. You'd need to call your local one to check when the clinics are though.
www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/sexual-health-services/find-a-sexual-health-clinic/

Glad you got an answer OP, hope the rest of the holiday goes well.