Bedtimes on holiday??

[Thechaseison71]

Taken from a comment on another thread.

Do people really stay so obsessed about bedtimes that when they are on holiday the fo nothing all evening except sit in a hotel with a sleeping child?

And miss going out for dinner ( many restaurants open later abroad) or even hotel entertainment

From a personal perspective had mine as toddlers asleep in a buggy and carried on with the holiday. What's the point of actually going if you restrict yourself so much?

YABU. - bedtime routine is so important

Yanbu. Like to have a bit of freedom in holiday

Horses for courses then. You're a creature of the night. Others like to be up and out early. No right or wrong answer.

Ok no DIFFERENT entertainment to what you can do aitting in your own house ( although i dont have telly at home)

I cringe at how judgey I was with my first 2 dc who were adaptable, easy going, slept anywhere etc. I thought it was down to my amazing parenting 🤣 Then I had my 3rd. He needed routine. He screamed blue murder without it. People didn’t believe me and tried for themselves. They soon learned this is how he was. He is still the same now at 16 (no screaming blue murder) in that he likes routine, he is more adaptable now but doesn’t find it as easy as my other 3dc. He is very sensitive to loud noises etc and after a time just needs peace and quiet in his own room to decompress. Like I said - my other 3 dc can sleep anywhere and through anything!

This is very child dependent. Mt twins would not sleep in the buggy and it just made the next day awful. When they got to 3 it was fine as they just stayed awake and could cope with it a lot better.

Holiday is quite often not that exciting right.

Why go on holiday if you're going to miss out on so much?

I've always found that the parents who were by the book with their children have the most fussy kids 🤷🏻‍♀️

My daughter never did well with a change in routine so yes - we kept things pretty similar to home. Maybe a bit of a later night etc but she liked to be in her own bed at the end of the night. And hated any sort of ‘entertainment’ too. Turns out she’s autistic so that all made sense as she got older.

So for us, enjoying the holiday was pretty linked to her being settled and happy. Which she was when she’d have a good night sleep and some quiet time before bed. We’d prioritise booking a place with a garden or balcony or pool or whatever and we’d relax at the end of the day too - we’d all be up with her in the morning anyway so was no real bother. Not really sure why anyone should judge what works for us.

Children are different. We have 3. You feel like a great parent having one or two able to fit whatever you throw at them and realise life can be very different with more fuzzy r child.
So easy to judge if you only have the no fuss children.

I always ran home at nap time and I don’t know a single other parent who doesn’t/ didn’t. No way my DD would nap anywhere but her bed / my mums bed. ….. and never in a buggy . I’m a single parent and happily put her to bed and sit on a quiet balcony reading …. It’s bliss

We don't really have a strict bedtime routine at home so we definitely don't have one on holiday. Thankfully we have a child that doesn't get grumpy from less sleep, so even when he was 3, we could stay out until 10ish on holiday (late enough for us) and he was fine , he just a nap in the afternoon the next day. Appreciate this is not the case for some children, I have a friend for example who has to stick to a strict routine at home and on holidays.

The time difference made enough of a difference for us. A 7.30 bedtime became 9.30/10.30, which is plenty later enough for us when we'll be haring around after a toddler the next day - and we'd generally stay up in a separate room with a drink or two anyway.

There's no virtue in a pissing contest about staying up in a restaurant with your kid in a buggy.

It's just a preference, it doesn't make you special.

We always get an apartment - DC1 was a nightmare sleeper and needed a good sleep because he'd be up several times in the night as a baby and then the holiday routine stuck. Family dinner out somewhere, back to the apartment, DC to bed, we drink wine on the balcony, read or catch up on TV shows. I've got no desire to see holiday entertainment or sit in a bar all evening, I did that when I was younger. DH is away half the year for work so I like hanging out with him when I get chance.

Both kids get up at the crack of dawn regardless of when they go to sleep so I'd rather they go to bed at a decent hour so they're not cranky all day. (Both primary age now, neither would nap unless gravely ill).

Miss out on what ?!? Most exploring is done during the day, after dinner with kids it’s not like you’re going to hit the bars ?!? So what will you miss by relaxing in the hotel room

I find it so strange that so many couples seem to go to bed at 7pm on holidays with their kids and spend their evenings in silence on the balcony

I travelled loads as a kid and just slotted in with mum and dad - normally a meal at a restaurant, a walk after dinner (in the buggy when I was tiny) followed by an ice-cream and bedtime around 9pm or later.

It's super common in Europe for kids to stay out late with the adults and play in the local squares or streets, for the adults to have a coffee or something while the kids have gelato or similar. It's the holiday atmosphere that you miss out on.

My kids need sleep and usually get up at 7am regardless of what time they go to bed, so I don't keep them up too late every night on holiday. We usually have an early dinner around 6:30/7 so in bed for around 8:30/9 at the latest.
We mostly book 2 bed suites or rooms with large balconies/patios with pools or villas, so DH and I can relax together in the evenings. I've never booked a hotel with 'entertainment' and nor would I. Not everyone enjoys the same types of holidays OP and we very much enjoy a relaxing evening to ourselves and well rested kids who have fun with us all day.

DS has never needed much sleep, but unless it's a really late night he wakes up at 6-6.30 even now he's 12. We never tried going out later with him in the buggy because of that.

I mean, routine is good up to a point but I know a hell of a lot of people whose commitment to 'routine' essentially left them with inflexible, stressy children who were incapable of adapting or taking anything unexpected in their stride.

I did raise my eyebrows when people were asking about kids staying up to watch England and there were people saying 'No, my 10-year-old DS needs his sleep, we'd have tantrums and tears the next day and he wouldn't cope with it'. Maybe he'd cope a bit better if he actually experienced changes in routine on a more regular basis, and learned to moderate his feelings a bit more like other kids do.

I think it's a very Britsh thing with the early bedtimes etc. I lived in Spain for a while and all the restaurants in the square had families with kids eating in restaurants while the kids played at 9.30/10pm

Out in the evening for dinner with dc in the buggy, had their food at the table, then a few drinks and hotel entertainment etc, back in buggy if they were falling asleep or just sat with us if awake, then bed about 11- midnight. Get up about 9-10 next morning. They’d usually have a nap mid-late afternoon after pool/beach day

Some people might actually prefer some adult chill time whilst the kids are in bed to holiday resort ‘entertainment’. It isn’t that hard to book accommodation that allows this- even in a standard hotel room in a hot country there’s usually a balcony you can sit on. Other people might have kids who don’t sleep well on the go and feel that a late dinner isn’t worth the crankiness. Each to their own. I have zero interest in any entertainment but do like a nice dinner. We usually do a mix so have them up late for dinners a few nights but when they’re looking tired give them an early night and hang out as a couple on the terrace or whatever we have once they’re asleep.

I don't particularly like the entertainment ( although kids lived it) but better than sitting in on my own while kids slept.

And of course the eldest 2 were 12 and 9 when the youngest were born. Should they have been forced to stay in also so the little brother could sleep?

We put our preschool age kids to bed at 7pm on holiday because my husband and I preferred having the whole night kid-free drinking cocktails on the balcony, rather than dragging gurney overtired toddlers around in buggies. And we planned accordingly - apartment with a separate bedroom for kids and ocean view balcony. Nothing to do with being obsessed with routine, our kids just enjoy an early bedtime after a long day in the sun and we enjoy having the evening to ourselves. I imagine this will change as they get older.

I could think of nothing worse than hotel entertainment so missing that wouldn’t be a problem.

We have never stayed all in one room without at least somewhere to sit and have a glass of wine and a chat in the evening. So either a suite with a separate living room or even a balcony is sufficient somewhere warm.

When DC1 was very small we would often feed them early then we would have room service or take away when they were asleep. We stayed in one resort in Barbados I think where all the restaurants, which were excellent, would do room service. We’ve also nipped out to grab a pizza at times too.

DC1 was unfortunately not a child that would sleep in the buggy at night. DC2 totally different and would happily snooze for hours in the buggy in the evening. Even now age 7 she’ll just have a sleep in the restaurant if she’s tired.

It does seem that all the pro early bedtimes and dit in hotel people are mainly those that have a partner with them to sit and drink wine with, no older kids that want to go out and certainly not the situation like a family holiday I had once . Was mum stepdad 2 brothers me and 2 kids . Now if id say in the room with them all night id never have spent holiday time with my family.