AIBU to expect DD’s Dad to contribute to school trip?

[Letsaddanother]

DD 13 came home from school yesterday super excited with details of her school trip residential yesterday a 5 day trip to Paris, costing around £900 due by April next year with a £250 deposit due by September this year.
A bit of background - I’m a single parent with 2 DD’s, working full time and money is tight. Split with DD’s Dad almost 4 years ago, he pays me the grand sum of £100 per month because he fiddles his tax and only declares that he earns the minimum, lives with his parents still and is almost 50. He’s refused to sell the family home so still pays the mortgage on its, it’s a very small mortgage.

I messaged him with details and cost of the trip, saying let’s split it between u and if he could let me know when he’ll send me his half so we can get it booked for her. He’s replied with ‘take it off the mortgage payments that I make’ I said the house and our daughter are 2 totally seperate issues to which he replied that ‘You don’t understand it’s actually all about the house’
I suggested if he doesn’t like making the mortgage payments then perhaps he can get in touch with the estate agents and sign the paperwork to let me put it on the market. I’ve had the photos taken, estate agent has the keys, my side of the paper work is all signed and has been ready to go for the last 3 years! It’s just so frustrating!!

is it totally wrong of me to expect him to contribute towards school trips?
I completely paid for last years residential on my own, without asking him for a penny.

The trip is a rip-off and your DDs dad refusing a share gives you the perfect opportunity to say no to your daughter and you go there at another time with her.

You should not be supporting someone who evades tax as he does. A thief by another name. Contact HMRC.

I think if you want him to pay half you need to start by agreeing with him which residential trips your dd is going to go on. Some parents send their children on everything, other limit the number of trips and of course some children dont go at all.

He should pay half of what he's agreed but not necessarily half of what you decide. And he should make what he agrees clear to your dd.

I’d force the sale, you don’t need to be married to do this.

I’d ask CMS to open an investigation into his income, it took me a year long battle but I was able to claw back £4k in arrears from my contractor ex stating minimum wage.

How did you do this with CMS? Did you have to have proof?

He can tell her it’s too expensive, most families can’t afford it, you didn’t ask his opinion before you said she could go then tried to bill him for half, he already pays maintenance and covers the mortgage on the home you all live in, and it’s shitty of you to try and make him look the bad guy given the above reasons 🤷‍♀️

Probably had it before he left and was honest about his earnings.

Yes you can. I know a couple who did it (the one who had moved out ) UK. TOLATA 1996

Are you still entitled to half the house proceeds if he is solely paying the mortgage and you aren’t married? As above it would be good if he would pay but obviously he doesn’t have to and it IS very expensive. Dd has a similar trip to France in 2028 and I’ve applied to the school for financial assistance as her dad hasn’t paid me a penny in the last 2 years and before that it was the same £100 but for 2 dc. It’s not true that few dc go though in our case. The trip is always full with a waitlist and disappointed dc who don’t get a space at all.