AIBU to think a toddler should not need to cover their top at a swimming pool?

[Blues321]

Went swimming in our local pool with DS aged 18 months and DNiece 16 months. DSis had forgotten a swim nappy so gave her one of DS's.

We're happily splashing when a lifeguard approached us and asked if DN is a girl and if so, she has to wear a swimming costume that covers her top half.

We ended up having to leave early as apparently it's 'the rules' that all females, even 16 month olds, have to cover their chests!!

Please reassure me that this is crazy and we weren't BU to refuse to buy a swimsuit and therefore be asked to leave.

Manager was involved and said rules are rules!

Brilliant suggestion 👙😹😹

In mainland Europe it’s normal for girls to just wear bottoms right up to 8/9 years old, I was at a predominantly Spanish hotel (with a few German and Dutch families too) and it was quite obvious who the British girls were because they were the only ones with tops

No surprise whatsoever. It's a well established fact people vary the way they interact even with newborns depending on whether they're told it's a boy or girl.

Madness! I’ve got sunshine pics of me at that age with nothing on my top half! I’m assuming (must ask my mum) I could just go in the public swimming baths with just bottom half on.

Well the post is about a girl, and my story about my friend was about a girl.

Are you asking why I don’t care about little boys being watched by weirdos at a public swimming pool? I am. But it’s not a sexualised thing to have boys and men walk around topless in the same way as to have girls and women walk around topless. I am responding to how life is, not how it would ideally be.

Weirdos exist. They go to public swimming pools. They don’t wear much. They look at other people who are also not wearing much. Some of them enjoy all of this more than they should. If a pool says ‘we work here all day every day and see these weirdos and are therefore asking you to treat your small child as a slightly older child with your clothing choices so these weird people have less flesh to look at’ then I can understand that. They are not saying ‘we are distracted by your two year olds nipples, please cover them because we can’t control ourselves’, they are saying ‘weirdos are here watching your children’.

Life would be better if your toddler or small child could wear swimming bottoms only. Life would also be better if we could all take that alley way shortcut home because it really is a great short cut. But here we are 🤷‍♀️.

That is bonkers.

I wonder if he misunderstood the policy wrong. When our toddlers went to swimming lessons they had to wear a swim nappy and a specific type of swimsuit on top (girls and boys) to ensure the nappy stayed in place.

I also think it's a good idea for young children (generally) to wear a UV swim top outside as it shields their skin from the sun. So i can imagine that might be a policy reason.

But a girl toddler having to wear a bikini top over her non existent boobs makes no sense!

Well it used to be common in England too. I forgot I’ve got photos of me at 2 and upwards in pools in hotels where we went in 1970s in Greece, Spain and Italy and I wore just bottoms. In fact I did have swimming costumes aged 8/9 but could wear bottoms too. I do recall wearing a costume at a Normandy beach aged 9.

That must've been East Germany lol. Although the Arte TV channel just ran a documentary on how East German (and, incidentally, British) nudism culture is going down the drain and it's increasingly just the fuddy duddies.

I understand why they have the policy. It's a sad old world out there.

This is what I was thinking. My daughter was in the 2nd stage of puberty aged 7, I made sure her development breasts were covered - costume or tankini, nothing sexual. Unfortunately there are people who this body type appeals to sexually and I imagine they'd all be flocking for a swim when the kids are there.
Toddlers look the same in nappies, unfortunately girls dont.
16. Ffs.
Harping back to the old page 3 days - 16 year olds. Counted down to Charlotte Church being 16 and she 'rear of the year'.
I don't even the term sweet 16.

I would have definitly punched back. And then when they didn’t back down said ‘sorry I missunderstood your question. He’s a boy’. And maybe followed up ‘he’s definitly a boy but I will not be offering to show your his penis because that would be inappropriate so you’ll need to take my word for it’.

I would also ask what their policy is on obese men. Or even prepubescent boys that have a bit of extra fat.

they’ve clearly not thought it through at all.

This never happened.

I think I’d have refused to get out of the pool.

Periods won't get investigated now if a girl is 8. Puberty is starting earlier and earlier. My daughter was seen because she had a period at 7 and was obviously developing. Sad but true.

No very West Germany on the border with France and Luxembourg. Can you share the name of the documentary on Arte so I can see if it is in the Mediathek?

She was getting leered at and wolf whistled at 10. I was her, the whistle was blokes in a van from behind. She was dressed like any normal 10 year old in the summer, when they turned to look back and saw my face I'm glad the shame was visible on their disgusting perverted faces.

Sad face with folded arms, or sad face with hand on shoulder of disappointed child? 😆

On a serious note, i don't know how they can possibly defend making you leave the pool. I hope there will be an apology and free tickets on the way.

What was the relevance of the swim nappy

Absolute batshit and totally out of order to sexualize a 16 month old baby. I'm disgusted.
I would honestly make a lot of noise about this if it was my daughter/niece. Someone mentioned above 'why didn't you just lie and say she was a boy' - you definitely shouldn't have had to lie. Weird. Most amazing thing I've read today.

that's bonkers

That does seem like a very odd rule for a 16-month-old. At that age, there's no practical difference between little boys and girls in terms of modesty, so I can understand why you were surprised and frustrated.

We didn’t even have swim nappies when I was a toddler. I’ve seen photos of me with just swim pants on.

The thing is though, that little girls don't have breasts. So if a pervert is there to perv, I really don't think making little girls cover their chests will make a difference... Some perverts are attracted to little boys too, and little boys' chests look identical to little girls' chests. So I understand their concern, but it's still not logical.

Unfortunately given we don't sexualise ourselves, it's done to us, it's not something she will be able to 'refuse'. In her own home no one will be sexualising her anyway. At a public pool she would have zero control over whether they are.

OP, if the general manager doesn't give a suitable response, I would definitely take it further, and if it still isn't resolved, to the press, not even joking. You practice that compo face!