AIBU to think a toddler should not need to cover their top at a swimming pool?

[Blues321]

Went swimming in our local pool with DS aged 18 months and DNiece 16 months. DSis had forgotten a swim nappy so gave her one of DS's.

We're happily splashing when a lifeguard approached us and asked if DN is a girl and if so, she has to wear a swimming costume that covers her top half.

We ended up having to leave early as apparently it's 'the rules' that all females, even 16 month olds, have to cover their chests!!

Please reassure me that this is crazy and we weren't BU to refuse to buy a swimsuit and therefore be asked to leave.

Manager was involved and said rules are rules!

Of course it's ridiculous, but I do think it's a little odd to go to a swimming pool without swimming costumes, even for such young children. Maybe it's because my children grew up in Florida so we were swimming a lot, but it would never have occurred to me not to put them in swimming costumes when going to the pool or beach. And given that both of my children were girls, they had girls' swimming costumes.

There were times when, for example, we came across a splash park and didn't have a swimming costume with us, and then we would strip them down to their nappies or undies.

Pretending your child is 'trans' is a solution? I guess they forced it to be one. I mean they just could not have answered the question. It shouldn't have been asked. I'd have probably responded with 'why?' and then I guess I would maybe said they were a boy!

I wear that saw this exact same post not that long ago?

I mentioned it to show they were 'dressed' identically so you couldn't tell who was a girl or a boy - actually DS's hair is longer - he has gorgeous blonde curls!

Wonder if it was the same pool.

I'll update when I hear back.

This doesn't really solve the problem of a swimming pool having such an utterly ridiculous rule. They should be challenged on it and not just go along with it by pretending she's a boy.

I wonder if the blanket rule is to sidestep endless debate about what age girls would have to wear tops. I can see those discussions going on ad nauseam. Far simpler to have a rule saying all females have to wear tops, although you'd think that in practice, common sense would dictate that lifeguards wouldn't kick babies out over it!

Why would your daughter be sexualised in your house at any age?!

99% of swimming pools seem to manage not having stupid rules and don't have problems with 'endless debate'.

That's a gross rule. Nipples and chests are the same on bodies of both genders and look no different until girls start developing. I would have felt so uncomfortable and weirded out if someone had said that to me.

So the girls should wear tops so the weirdos know which ones are girls? If anything, if this is the concern, then an identical policy is needed for boys and girls otherwise you’ve just identified the children that should be actively targeted.

YANBU she’s a little tot. Doesn’t matter if she’s a boy or a girl. Ridiculous behaviour from the pool staff.

Haha!

I dunno, for all I know maybe they do have the same rule but the lifeguards aren't stupid enough to enforce it on babies.

I suppose if you don't have a blanket rule, how do you draw the line? Some people experience precocious puberty, for example. Drawing a line invites debate about bodies and ages of females that no one wants to have. So on reflection, I think a blanket rule is better than trying to define an appropriate age at which someone should cover up, especially given that people develop at such different rates. But the lifeguards lacked common sense to enforce it on individual tiny children. OP said they were very young, which explains it.

🤣

Do you not see how illogical that position is, @NoCommentingFromNowOn? It’s not the responsibility of any child or parent to police what goes through the mind of someone with paedophilic tendencies, or to reduce the ‘temptation’ by covering themselves up. Besides which, covering the chest of a toddler will not make them any less attractive to an abuser than having them walk around completely naked.

This is a batshit position for the staff to take, OP, and probably illegal too. I hope you continue to push the issue.

12 and/or 16? Really? That's way too high a limit. My 10 year old is already developing. 8 is fine as suggested upthread and makes sense to match the changing room rules.

What? A-cup breasts are small, but they’re still developed breasts. (Speaking as someone who was an A-cup until I got pregnant at 27.)

I completely agree but I also do not think that swim and nappy should share any part of a sentence.

It's backwards thinking. It's another example of women and kids having to restrict or modify their behaviour, rather than requiring the people who are the actual issue (usually grown men) to have their behaviour restricted or modified.

It's all because society would rather make a woman or child more uncomfortable, restricted or inconvenienced, than a man. I'm fully aware that women can also pose a risk, but society always finds it harder to require men to be inconvenienced than women.

If a swimming pool has a problem with someone looking, then tell them to leave, not a mother and baby ffs. Put up signs, "patrons will be asked to leave if they do not adhere to the code of conduct".

By your assertion then, all females should be able to go topless in a public swimming pool.

Incredible and outrageous. In Europe, little girls only wear bikini bottoms until they reach puberty. Mine did swimming lessons in public swimming pools in the UK with only the bottom part of the swimsuit until they were about 7, then moved to one piece. But on the beach they stayed bottom only until they were about 9.

Totally ridiculous and sexist - they are sexualising a toddler. Would have told him where to go.

And then name the pool?

Don't be silly, adults and children/infants are seen as separate. Childeren are classed as having separate protected characteristics in the equality act.

Whilst both children and adults have the same rights, they can be treated differently due to adults having different characteristics (i.e. tits).

I can. It’s standard at our local council run leisure centre.