I’m pissed off with my husband.
And I really can’t be arsed to speak to him about it today. I’m fuming.
Basically - our 16-year-old boy is growing up. I get that. He is hanging out with his mates a lot more out of the house. He’s finished his GCSEs. He’s cutting loose. That’s all cool.
However. His language has started to slide. I have heard the odd swearword slip in and I’ve let it pass. It does jar for me. But I get he’s getting older. He’s always been polite, respectful and well spoken until the last few months. People always comment on how eloquent he is. We are not super strict parents and have always led with love and setting an example, rather than punishment.
However, yesterday during the football he was shouting and swearing at the TV in front of his 13-year-old brother and me and he was doing it quite a lot and quite aggressively.
Saying things like a certain player was a wanker and shouting fuck off at the ref.
I didn’t like it. So just before halftime, I asked nicely if he could dial down the swearing.
He snapped back at me that he was expressing himself. And it was his right to express himself. And didn’t he want me to express himself?
I said I didn’t say that, but if the only way that he could express himself was through swear words then that showed a limited vocabulary. My younger son quietly agreed under his breath.
That older son said are you saying I’ve got a limited vocabulary? I didn’t bother answering.
I looked at my husband for support and he didn’t support me.
My youngest son asked that we don’t argue whilst the football was on.
So I sat there in silence for a minute or two. And then got up and walked out to the kitchen to get a bit of distance.
My husband then followed me out when they had a hydration break. I said I didn’t feel supported. And he said he didn’t support me.
That him and me swear, although I said I don’t swear that much and he agreed - I find he swears too much sometimes as well, and I don’t like it.
I made the point that if my mum had asked me not to swear in front of her - and I don’t really swear in front of her out of respect - I would’ve done that. And that my son had showed me no respect when I asked him a simple thing.
That nowadays it’s all about young people expressing themselves and not about respecting other people’s feelings.
To which my husband said he didn’t have time to discuss this as he needed the toilet and to get back to the match.
So I went and got my things - apologised to my younger son for leaving him as I’ve not seen him for three days already whilst he’d been away at PGL, and I missed him - and I told the older son that because of him his dad and I had had a row and I didn’t want to be anywhere near him.
I took my laptop upstairs, but I ended up sleeping quite early and we lost anyway. I’m obviously gutted for England despite not being a massive football fan, but I do have an element of “serves them right”
I’m heading out today to a networking event and running another one this evening so I’m out of the house for most of the day. I’m going to try and avoid speaking to either of them before I go because I am so furious.
I am fuming and don’t want to speak to either of them. I’ve just also realised that my younger son has not gone to school, so I’ll be even more furious if my husband has sanctioned that time off because he’s not ill. Excuse me, why I’ll go and find out what happened there.
Am I being unreasonable to expect my husband to support me and to expect my son to dial his language down if I ask him to - and I have to say this is the first time I’ve asked him to - I’ve let other occasional swear words slide. He’s only just started swearing by the way in the last few months.