I've had a friend for quite a long time, let's call her Melanie. We've always been there for each other in bad times, and we've always shared a lot.
A few years ago, I lost weight and was in pretty good shape. I was working out at the gym and eating right. She once called me to say she was worried about me because I had lost weight, saying I looked too thin (which I wasn't, weight was normal for my age and height). I told her diplomatically that was not up for discussion, as weight and shape are personal, so that was my boundary right there.
Long story short, I've gained weight lately. I don't need anyone pointing it out to me, as I have a mirror and I'm very aware of how I look. She knows where I stand because of what happened a few years ago. One day we were driving somewhere together and she started talking about a friend who had gained a lot of weight, and how he was looking awful, and I thought, here it comes, but she didn't say anything about me.
She hadn't brought it up with me until a few days ago, so I thought she had got the message that this was not up for discussion. Anyway, the other day we were talking about a job offer I got, and she gave me good advice on the job thing. A few minutes into the conversation, she starts asking me health questions. I instantly knew where that was going, and replied: What does that have to do with the job thing? She continues, What have you been doing about your health? Have you bern working out? How often? Sometimes we get so concerned about work and forget about our shape. I just said, why are we getting into that? She said, I just want to say you could join a gym or something, for the sake of your health.
I am doing something about it, but I don't just go around advertising these things to people. But I didn't tell her, because she wasn't supportive the other time and this is 100% none of her business.
Now, the thing is, AIBU to think this was disrespectful, given the fact that she's already done it in the past?