MIL addiction to TEMU shopping

[MossGreenUmbrellas]

Will start by saying I know she means well but this is getting out of control. I’m a minimalist who loves things that can last almost forever so they ‘go through life’ with me so to speak but now we’ve got a storeroom full of junk.

I have a nice Patagonia jacket that I’ve been using for years and years and years. It tore while I was out with DH’s family. MIL said she could get them for cheap for me (from temu), I said no thanks I have something I’d like in mind and will be going to get it from the store next month. She’s told me she has ordered 3 pieces for me from temu!

I really have no intentions of wearing them. Aside from questionable quality I just don’t want to wear some knockoff or any of this fast fashion stuff.

This is a recurring pattern. Told her time and time again no thanks, I don’t want her to buy me stuff, I can’t use it anyway. Told her I don’t trust the quality and want to get my own stuff. Even did the angle where I was saying I don’t know how ethical the manufacturing is. Pointless. She stills buy them.

Once it was a variation of a Black Hole Duffel I use. Once I got 10 faux leather straps for my watch. Twice it was some Birkenstock looking sandals.

Telling her directly doesn’t work. Telling DH to tell her directly falls flat cause she’ll just say she’s trying to do something nice for us.

I feel bad for throwing them straight away because she did spend money on them but the charity shop near us won’t take them either!!

AIBU? I dread our visits now cause 100% of the time there’s more poor quality temu crap I’d have to put in storage.

If you buy from Amazon, or, often from Etsy, it’s the same stuff.

😂🤣👍

Well said. Please don’t start with the boomer nonsense.

Blimey. Slight generalisation! None of my boomer friends would be seen dead in Temu or Shein. Do you live in a very poor area @MysticPearl?

Take them to the charity shop

My ex's mum had a shopping addiction and also couldn't stand throwing stuff away, so instead she would prepare large bags full of random things - wooden spoons, clothes, crockery, for her adult children to take to their homes. I remember receiving a large laminated planner like the cheap ones you get in offices, and an ornamental mouse wearing a ballerina outfit. She also liked to explain the meaning of each item. I just used to donate 90% of it to avoid drama, but I don't blame you for wanting to challenge it - you should, as the behaviour just goes on and on.

Fussy charity shop😳

🤣🤣

Really! I was just about to say I'm surprised anyone over the age of 25 uses it. I can't imagine my parents buying crap like that.

OP I had exactly this from my Ex MIL. She was quite lonely tbh and used to fixate on buying people things, but she would always get a knock off version because she liked volume rather than specialness. She used to give really odd gifts too- like at Xmas you’d get a huge pile but it would be everyday things like a spatula wrapped up in Xmas paper.

with all due respect ignore the advice here. There is no answer. You’ll never stop her and none of these ideas will work.

i ended up finding Xmas and birthdays quite stressful and dreading her gift giving.
No reaction was good enough, she’d challenge you in an accusatory way if you changed your style or preferences which made me paranoid about the amount she’d studied me (“you’re wearing a necklace! You never wear a necklace. If I’d known you liked necklaces I’d have bought you one”- like my decision to put a necklace on was a personal offence to her)

the other thing she did was go through my house to find things I’d like, and bought me them. This was a little closer to the mark but never made sense to me.
She found an expensive perfume I like in my room. And bought me a bottle (not a dupe!) I was like thank you very much. But erm… as you know… I already have a bottle?!
I’d get to hers 2 years later by which time I’d have another 4 bottles from her lined up. It was over whelming and felt controlling.

a huge advantage of my divorce was getting away from her and now I enjoy Xmas and birthdays again

I'm old and would never buy that stuff. Just shove it in the supermarket clothing bank or recycling when you go or in a charity bag that comes through the door

My mum went through this stage. I told her I didn't want anything from Temu/Shein. I sent her information about how some stuff was toxic and doesn't go through the safety stuff that other things do to purchase in the UK. I told her three months before Christmas, do not get me anything from Temu.
For Christmas, in a plastic gift bag that stunk of chemicals, was a load of utter tat. I was so disappointed that she chose her own dopamine hit of buying from there over something I'd actually want. I genuinely think she was addicted for a while. She rang me later that day and asked if I liked it. She told me she'd already bought it all before I'd told her not to 😳 I went abit OTT on her. It seems to have sunk in, suppose I'll find out at Christmas!

Just put it in the charity bags that come through the door, we get at least one or two a month

Just throw it away. Giving it to charity shops is just so you can absolve yourselves of doing the actual transfer to landfill. No one wants temu from the charity shop.

Wouldn't your bin get full if you put it in there, I find the unsolicited charity bags are best for getting rid of all kinds of crap, they generally take bric a brac and unwanted gifts as well and you can put extra bags and boxes out and they just collect the lot.

I don’t.

There are lots of clothes bins you could use - most supermarkets/small stores have them in their car parks.

Lord I’m a Boomer and would never do this!

Fair enough

Just take it and put it in a donation bin on the way home.

They’d probably take them at my local homeless service, to go in a box with a ‘help yourself’ sign; but they can only take so much stuff and it’s men’s clothes they’re always short of.

That being said, I agree that you must refuse to take them from her. It’s the only way to stop it.

Same. It’s a ridiculous generalisation.

Also if a product is clearly a fake of a designer item especially a handbag the shop can be called out for selling fakes (ex charity shop manager here)

My parents are boomers. It's the last thing they'd do because they grew up in a job wasteful society.

Personally, I'd use make up to create a horrible rash on my arm and say it was from the chemicals and you can't wear anything from there again.

Hrft but agree, I've had to ban myself from Temu. Some of the stuff was Ok..Alot was rubbish. The keep buying for discounts thing was hardcore.