To get my DD a kitten for her birthday?

[ACatCalled]

To be clear from the start, it would of course be a family pet and I accept that I will be the one responsible for the cleaning etc etc.

I'm really just after experiences, tips, and anything I might not have thought of! DD will be 9 in the autumn and is desperate for a pet, ideally a cat. I/we lost our old cat earlier this year and we were all devastated- I rescued him as a kitten long before DD was born and he was by my side through all sorts of shit so it's taken me a good few months to even consider another pet. Whilst DD misses our old cat, she talks about the house feeling "empty" and it would be nice for her to experience having a pet from the beginning, choosing a name and forming a proper bond. I do feel the emptiness of the house too 😞

I've got a bit more anxious as I've got older and can't help worry about the cat going missing/having an accident or something. It's also been a long time since I've had a kitten! I'd need to cat-proof the house and factor in keeping it in for the first few months before neutering. Not easy as we're open plan but doable.

We live in a very cat-friendly area, I have willing cat-sitters for any holidays and it would be nice to have a little buddy again. I would rescue again too, the centres near me are overrun with kittens. I'm just nervous!

Get cats by all means (definitely two, cats are social animals and their quality of life is far better in a group) but not as a birthday gift. It's not a good time to settle animals into a new house over a celebration, and it conveys that the cat is a commodity like a toy.

Cats are a joy and worth the work, and I love seeing how responsible and caring my dc are with pets.

I was considering whether to get a second older kitten for my resident young cat after my older resident cat died. I did get a second cat, very carefully matched with help from the rescue I got her from, she was 9 months old when I got her (existing cat 18 months old), she’s great! And both cats hate each other 🤦‍♀️ however my 9 year old found it easier having an older kitten than she did when we got a clawy 12 week old kitten 18 months prior to that, she found the tiny kitten a bit over whelming.

If you can’t get the kitten to arrive on her birthday (as rescues don’t really work that way) then she could always have a ‘shopping spree’ to buy all the kitten things needed (toys, food, bedding etc) on her birthday maybe with a photo.

Agree. Thread title made it sound like it was going to be a massive NO! but details in the thread mean it's a massive YES!

But she wants a kitten and probably doesn’t need more ‘stuff’ just to spend extra money, nothing wrong with the gift not just being extra stuff to spend money

I wouldnt worry about the birthday bit, I'd just get two now or maybe if you have a summer holiday coming up, after that. I'd also get siblings from a shelter, they are crying out for responsible families right now.

And make sure your camera is not broken when you do.

That's not what I said either 🙂

Get two, they are so much happier and more fun in a pair. They stink are expensive and a fair bit of work to begin with but also they are bloody lush. Get a cat play pen to put them away at night. Do it..ours are new and I'm so in love

@Stompythedinosaur her birthday is on a weekday and will be pretty low-key. She's a sensible girl and although obviously will be excited, she's calm and very caring with all animals. Such an empathetic little soul. Although as @ToKittyornottoKitty quite rightly pointed out, it might not happen for her actual birthday anyway, depending how the rescue centre works and what's available. I'll have to give her a pets at home voucher instead 😅

@hairstreak yeah I can see where you're coming from. We would get one, eventually, I'm sure. But the birthday is giving me the nudge I need to make the decision/take the leap. And of course as a household, all 3 of us will love and care for the cat, but it will be DD's cat first and foremost. I just get litter tray duty and vet bills too!

@redboxer321 sorry for the inflammatory title 🤭

Good point. My cat was 19 when she died.

You've obviously thought carefully about this and already know the pros and cons.
Go for it and yes, get two. Bonded pairs are great fun.
Use a rescue centre if you possibly can. It seems to be kitten season now, at least where I live.
To reduce the risk of road fatalities (and mousing) I plan to keep my next cats (sometime next year) in at night with a litter tray.
Enjoy 😊

It's not quite the right time for us just yet- summer holiday booked then straight back into a really busy period at work. But late Aug/early sept when things are quieter I will start looking, and if the right thing comes along I won't stress about the date! Camera will ofc be at the ready 🥰

Fair enough! It sounds like you've thought it all out and have a good plan!

I'm sure she'll love going to the shelter to meet/choose kittens 😍 We took our kids when we decided about our cat - his absolutely laid-back attitude to them was a big plus point, as well as him being 11 months old (younger than we'd planned for, but actually perfect in the end).

It’s what it equates to though

I didn't say you were talking about costs?

I said, animals are expensive so it's not 'mean' to spend that money in place of a different present.

Animals are not gifts.

If its a family decision, why should she lose her birthday for it?

I am not the one saying anything about spending on a different present.

Fortunately OP seems to understand my point 😻

Get kittens now, and a present for her birthday.

It sounds like you've thought everything through sensibly and your family would be a lovely home for a kitten / kittens.

I'd just say are you emotionally able to cope with both of the two following scenarios;

1. Your daughter grows up, moves out and takes the now senior cat with her leaving you with a very empty nest (obviously, at this point we would all encourage you to welcome another pet, I hear puppies are cute... )
2. Your daughter grows up, moves out and leaves the cat plus all cat care for a now senior moggy to you.

Why? The problem with pets as presents is someone buying the pet, the novelty wears off or the recipient doesn’t want it,

as an example, and old neighbor was given a baby bunny by a co-worker as a baby present!

but a parent buying a pet for a child and taking responsibility for that pet surely isn’t a problem? Hay do you think the danger is in this specific circumstance

full disclosure - I got a cat for my eight birthday. She was a well looked after family pet.

Why do you think she would loose her birthday? Has OP said she won’t buy her anything else?

I only voted YABU as you need to get 2 and if you get from rescue, which you really should do in this day and age, they generally will only home in pairs to a non cat household as they need other cat company.

Just to reiterate, the cat will not be DD's only gift. She won't lose anything on her birthday, and the idea of the cat as a gift is to show her that it's "for her". She can choose the name and the supplies and ideally the primary bond will be with her- my old cat was a Mama's boy 🥰- she's mature enough to understand that this means she'll need to do the majority of the feeding/brushing/caring, though obviously I will step in/do litter etc. Agree with pp re keeping in overnight with a tray btw.

@SausageRoll2020 that's really thought provoking actually- and I hadn't fully considered it as I (possibly entirely wrongly!) assumed the cat would stay here with me! Of course, being DD's cat, she will be able to choose what she'd like to do based on her own circumstances/housing etc at the time and what would be best for them both. I'm perfectly happy (and hopeful!) to be in it for the long haul. In scenario 1, I would probably get another cat of my own 😆 and in scenario 2, I'd hope it encourages DD to come back and visit me haha. I nursed my old boy through his poorly months before we lost him, so am relatively prepared/understand what's involved in looking after an older mog 😊

Yes as above I would absolutely rescue, always have & always will.

It's interesting that a few people now have said that rescues will only re-home in pairs. I follow the 3 'biggest' ones in my area and haven't seen this stipulated at all- the only pairs I've seen are bonded pairs of older cats, generally not suitable for homes with children 12 and under. To add,these are reputable rescues, not just foster homes etc. Maybe it's in the small print I haven't seen? I'll check.

I was thinking a mum & kitten might be a nice option, the mums often seem overlooked and might help keep some order 😅

A mum and kitten would be very sweet (assuming Mum isn’t just happy to be rid of them all! 😆) and Mum is indeed often overlooked at rehoming time