Aibu to focus on bad wording?

[rachel55488]

So I know I’ve got alot of stick on here but what would a lot of girls think about this?
so months ago me and my partner where talking about something and I think it was me asking about his ex etc and he said to me “well sex with you is nothing like it is with her” and then straight away he edited the is to was. I called him on it straight away and said why did he say is? That means the present and sounds like he’s still sleeping with his ex wife? Or is this just bad wording. He is quite bad at wording stuff in general.

Are you expecting different responses to the previous times you've asked this?

So what was his response?

He just said he worded it wrong 🤣 he edited the “is” to was on WhatsApp. I just said it sounded like he was still sleepin with her because he said is

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5537032-aibu-to-focus-on-wording-my-boyfriend-said-or-are-men-just-shit-at-wording

So it wasn’t an actual conversation? It was on WhatsApp? Then it is easy to make typos. In your OP you have written ‘where’ but you actually mean ‘were’ so it’s easily done.

The tense of the conversation is not important but the topic is concerning. Why on God’s earth are you chatting with your partner about what sex is like with his ex?? Why is he comparing you?

So I know I’ve got alot of stick on here but what would a lot of girls think about this?

We aren't girls.

Walk
give the chap a lucky break

Indeed. We're adults. And asking a partner about their relationship (especially their sexual relationship) with an ex is not something healthy adults do. Obsessing over it in multiple posts also is unhealthy.
If you ask him this or he asks you this you should both be prepared to get yourselves upset. Chose something else to talk about.

Aren't France doing well this world cup? What plants will do best in these hot summers we're having? Isn't it amazing how a squeeze of lime elevates a Thai curry?

Wrong forum if you want responses from ‘girls’.

You have made so many posts about your relationship paranoia. You’re clearly immensely insecure. I think you need to look into therapy and end this relationship in the meantime.

What did you even ask him to make him type this? All sounds very childish

Wow, the post history does not make happy reading.
OP you need to stop seeing this man and obsessing over him and his actions, for both of your sakes, but in particular for the sake of your daughter.

Stop obsessing. Grammatically either is fine.

”Sex with you is nothing like it is with her” is grammatically correct even if they no longer have sex with her. The grammar doesn’t depend on whether the activity is current; it depends on how English handles comparison and reference.

The key is that “is” in this sentence doesn’t mean is happening right now. It means is in nature, is in character, is as an experience. English uses present tense to describe general truths, habits, or stable qualities — even when the activity itself is no longer ongoing.

He said IS because his brain knows that is correct even if he doesn’t really know why. He changed it because his actual conscious understanding of grammar isn’t as good as his instinctive understanding.

I think you are very correct but you are wasting your time as the op is clearly obsessed with what he said (and his sexual history

Op if you were a man i am sure you be the one asking if your penis was bigger...you smack of insecurity and its just going to drive him and any other man away. Either you trust him or you don't...clearly you don't so finish it for everyone's sake