Aibu to focus on wording my boyfriend said or are men just shit at wording 🤣

[rachel55488]

So a few months ago my boyfriend and I where talking about our sex life and for some reason his ex came up (I can’t remember why I’m aware that’s a bit strange) I Probly mentioned something tbh lol but he basically messaged me back and said “one thing I do know though is sex with you is nothing like it is with her) and as I was reading it on WhatsApp he edited the comment to “was” instead of is. And I messaged back and said that was bad wording and we kind of laughed about it then a few days later I started over thinking it really badly and we had a fight and he actually couldn’t believe I was over thinking it just from wording. Him and his ex share two older kids but they don’t really speak as the olders are teenagers etc but he is bad at wording stuff a lot of the time tbh.

I mean I’d be annoyed that he was comparing us tbh but the is/was thing is irrelevant and I certainly wouldn’t take that to mean he’s still shagging her. But if you don’t trust him then your relationship is in trouble regardless.

Do you think it was just shit wording

It absolutely was shit wording! We are all different and while some people can easily, effortlessly say what they want to say, others need to take a moment to think about what they want to put and don't always get the right word first time around.

That really is all this is.

It’s not a case of ‘men are shit are wording’, it’s ‘people are sometimes shit at wording’. Literally anyone can make a mistake like that, you don’t need to have a penis to do it.

Probably just shit wording. I’m have more of a problem that he is comparing you and his ex! How bloody disrespectful to you and her!!

I know!! I was annoyed but then over thought more on the wording 🤣

You're not coming across like a Bronte yourself OP, I'd let it go.

Poor wording wouldn’t concern me but him comparing the sex with the sex he has with his ex would.
It’s disrespectful to you both and I would have challenged what he said straight away.

It was a bloody typo! Get a grip. It's nothing. Meaningless. You sound like very hard work.

If this is a question OP, you should use a question mark. Otherwise your sentence is nonsensical.

I'm not the grammar police, I'm just pointing out how easy it is to make an error. The bigger issue is why you are so quick to think this of him. Without trust the relationship has no hope.

Agree, for some people texting isn't a natural thing either, it requires a set of skills they may not use elsewhere. It isn't necessarily to do with intelligence either, I get things 'wrong' or word sentences awkwardly in texts often and I have an MA and am very used to writing texts and plans and clinical reports etc.

It's just a different means of communication, it is often done very quickly while in the midst of other things, and it is casual meaning sometimes you don't put a lot of thought into what it sounds like until afterwards. It's also not necessarily easy to decipher what something reads like, compared to what it sounds like in one's head before it is on a screen for them to receive.

Is he still shagging his ex though?

Nowt wrong with wording in context on whatsapp quick messaging

What do you mean??

This happened months ago and you are still dwelling on it?

I Probly mentioned something tbh
I took that to mean you texted some reference to his sex life with his ex which suggested to him you were asking for a comparison. If that is the way the conversation went, I don't see why the PPs think he shouldn't have made a comparison. Telling you to mind your own business, even tactfully, would have likely given rise to more insecurity and issues.

And if people say they never compare sex with one person and another, I won't believe them. But it is something that is best kept to ourselves.

If you have had the conversation about monogamy and agreed that is what you both want then typing 'is' rather than 'was', was probably an error. But as a fellow overthinker I would be just as concerned about sex with me being nothing like sex with her. That's rather ambiguous.