I work full-time and have a weekend job on top. I’m a single mum; my eldest has her own place but my 20 and 17 year olds are at home.
I swore to myself that this summer, I’d treat myself to a solo holiday for a week. I ached for it. I was so looking forward to the break away from everything. My kids have had their holiday and I’m taking them abroad in October. My passport needed to be renewed and I prayed that it would arrive in time (there is only one specific week where I can go away, due to work). It did. I have been researching holidays fanatically - the curse and blessing of having an obsessive personality!
But now that I can actually do it, I’m freaking out in a small way. ‘It’s too expensive’, ‘the money could be put elsewhere’, ‘I feel guilty’, ‘what if I hate it and it’s all a big waste.’
What is wrong with me? The money is there and I work hard for it. I always set the holiday price filter ‘low to high’, so it’s not like I’m going to go extravagant! The kids are responsible and will be fine. In fact, they’d encourage it. I think it’s mainly the money, but I can afford it. Still, I thought the prices may have come down by now, as I’d be leaving in a week! I am honestly not a martyr who struggles to be kind to herself. But I’ve just had a complete turnaround and don’t understand why. This is someone who was repeatedly checking her passport application status daily!
Can anyone relate?