AIBU to stop a villager using our skip and interrupting builders?

[Nousernameideaaga]

Having an extension built on our house. Will likely be ongoing until September.
Have a skip outside our house which , when neighbours have asked , we have allowed them to put stuff in our skip. No problem.

A man from elsewhere in the village is working on his own house.

Five times now he was wandered up our garden (long garden) to find our builder and to try and poach him onto his site. He has not asked permission to come into our garden. We are paying our builder on a day rate so each interruption costs us money.

Last night he put a load of waste from his own house (loads of bathroom tiles , a sink and a bath panel) into our skip. Without asking.

Live in a very small village , word of any neighbour dispute quickly makes it round the village.

Do I put up with it for the sake of keeping the peace.

Or do I ask him to leave next time I see him in our garden and ask him to contribute to the cost of the skip?

ETA Builder also lives in the village , is a brilliant builder

YABU Keep the peace

YANBU Kick him out and send a bill

I think there's a middle ground here. You don't have to either ignore it or go nuclear. I would knock on his door and ask him politely not to put anything else in your skip because each refill needs to be paid for. And say that rhe builders are very busy and have asked not to be disturbed when they are working but they are happy for him to have their number for future projects.

Knock on his door.

"Hello Neighbour. I've noticed you've been coming over to our house quite a bit and I wondered if there is something I can help you with? Apart from dumping your stuff in our skip, that is."

Hard Paddington stare.

Take photo of his shit and report to the council for flytipping. If he did that you drive he would be prosecuted. The fact it is a skip makes no difference - its your skip not his skip.

Send him a copy of the skip invoice, tell him that since 25% (or whatever) of what was in the skip was in his stuff you expect reimbursement of 25% of the bill.

Outrageous that he put his own house renovation junk into your skip ... skips aren't cheap!

Glad you're going to have a word with him

I would have had his shit out of my skip the second he put it in there! Some people will take the piss if you allow it - there's no room for being a nice person or conflict avoidant when you encounter a cheeky fucker. Swift and strong is the only way to deal.

Coming back to tell my own CF skip story.
We were doing a big garden overhaul and hired a mini skip which went on our drive.
It had been there for 24 hours when a man knocked on my door who I had barely ever spoke to and who whilst grinning like a Cheshire Cat said “Oh we saw you’ve got a skip, me and neighbours X,Y, Z and my cousin’s best friends mother (slight exaggeration) have some rubbish we need to get rid of and thought we could put it in your skip. We are happy to give you £10 towards the cost of your skip.” £10 total, not per person.
I smiled through gritted teeth and explained as nicely and firmly as I could that it was MY skip that I had paid over £200 for and would be filled with MY rubbish and that they could put their rubbish in their cars and take it to the tip.
It was his smarmy entitled attitude that wound me up. My DH is a peacemaker and would have told CF yes and no need for the £10 “donation” but we would then have needed to hire another bloody skip.
I filled up that skip on my own in the space of 2 hours. I did have another man knock on my door who very politely asked for permission to take various metal items from my skip.
It was a resounding yes from me as he was so courteous.

See. Manners. It’s not that difficult.

Thanks for sharing your story ☺️

Go round with an invoice for his part of the skip.

I already posted up thread. Not only will people add crap to your skip (including dog poo bags!) but they'll often remove items also. We often had metal scrappers come around, but in most cases, they'd ask before rummaging through.

We had a lovely, tall, wooden decoration which always sat on our table during Christmas. When clearing the garage, I found it had been nibbled on and inside was a dried up, desiccated rat- so it went in the skip. I watched multiple people pick it up, scream and throw it back. I ended up hiding it within the rubble 😆🤢

The last time I had a skip, when all the stuff was in and there was still space, I knocked on the neighbours doors and we has a skip party. The funny thing was people brought stuff to skip and took other stuff out.

Tell the builder to tell him not to let him stuff in the skip. Speak to the neighbour telling him to stop it and he's also trespassing.

Tell your builder not to engage and to remind this man that the skip is yours and paid for by you and not for anyone to use. They should cover it at night - not a real deterrent but makes it clear it’s not for public use.

Before we had chance to speak to him he did it again!

We were out at the time but the builder let him know he needed to contact him by phone

DH has also emailed him telling him not to do it anymore .

The absolute cheek .

Take his stuff out immediately and deliver it back to him OP!
I can’t believe he has had the audacity to do it again, he must have waited until you were out to do it.
I know your husband is unlikely to want confrontation but the CF is rude! What has he put in your skip this time?

No sorry . Should have been clearer. The skip went yesterday.

Today he just wandered into our garden to have a chat with the builder again. Apparently he did it yesterday afternoon and brought a mate with him!!!

Hes been told (albeit by email) to stop doing it immediately.

i just would never do this , not once, let alone what is now the 7th time (that we know about)

Sorry OP, I thought it was the skip.
This CF neighbour seems to be obsessed with either your builder or the building project.
I think this needs a face to face discussion, it’s beyond weird.
I can almost understand visiting once to have a look and get the builder’s contact information and CF should have knocked on your door to ask permission rather than wander into your garden but this many times AND to bring a friend? He’s a nosy twat!
It is none of his business to trespass on your private property this many times. How would he like it if random people kept going in his garden several times to have a look round?

Thankyou!!

This is exactly how I feel. I suggested to DH that this evening when it’s nice and cool we should take our dog out for a nice casual stroll round his garden. And then do the same for the next seven nights.

It really is beyond weird - I have used exactly those same words myself.

Where it’s currently at - DH is on various village committees and well respected in the village. He does loads for the village as does this other chap. So he wants to deal with it in a gently gently manner as he loves village life and being part of it all.
I also don’t want to spoil that for him by being reactive (hence I’ve not done what I wanted to do, which is give neighbour a proper bollocking)

Hes been told it stops now , so I’ll give DH approach time to work. And if it doesn’t I will rethink.

I think I would find is less bizarre if he was wandering down our back garden to find either my husband or myself. Even then, we have a perfectly and much more easily accessible front door.

very odd indeed

Is he trying to tap up the builder for advice? Like he gets stuck on his own building project and pops over and says hey builder would you use 2 inch or 1 inch screws on the panelling or whatever. He thinks he’s mates with the builder.
It’s so bizarre.

This is exactly what is happening.

He also keeps asking when the builder can move on to his job.

Our builder will be here until autumn at the earliest so he needs to learn some patience. We booked the builder in a year ago and had to wait. He will have to do the same.

Tell him to stop of course! Do not charge him or he’ll think he has rights.

Or are you seeking a reputation as weak-willed village pushover?

What’s the builder’s take? Chat to him, express your disquiet, listen to his perspective.

Had a reply from neighbour apologising and saying it won’t happen again.

problem solved. I hope.

me too

I just can’t believe they ever thought it would be ok in the first place!!