To expect someone occasionally to say I look nice

[meringuenests]

Full disclosure, I get clothes, I get clothes in the way that some people get football or gardening. I can do clothes.
I go out of my way to say (to people who say to me that they don't get clothes or struggle with weight aging all that shit) that they look nice. I genuinely compliment them when colours look good, cuts look good and sincerely mean it.
Just occasionally, I'd like someone to say "I like that on you"
Is this too much to ask?

Maybe the people you know dont think much about appearances or clothes?

Maybe you always look great to them so it doesn't register on their radar?

You could try saying, do you like this new top? I got it in ...

Perhaps you notice what other people are wearing, more than they do?

I don’t really notice what people are wearing, unless it’s real ‘wow’ or jaw droppingly awful. 🤷‍♀️

I agree it’s always lovely to receive a compliment but I think people feel awkward giving them, especially Brits. People don’t want to overstep and it makes them feel uncomfortable. But yes, I know how nice it is to hear so I do try to now tell women I like their x or y in the hope it’ll boost their confidence as it does me.

I think unless you’re also someone who notices clothes, colours, cuts etc you’re very unlikely to comment on them on someone else.

If you have a partner, I would expect him to say you look nice but not so much friends or strangers

I get it OP. I used to pay compliments to friends (I like your earrings/top/hair) but I'd never get one back. I just shrugged it off but I stopped with the compliments myself.

I've got a feeling you'll get a hard time on this thread but I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I had it in art gallery in London. . Gorgeous young French guy came up to me gestured up and down and said “l love it. The boots the dress the coat. Yep” then walked off! Made my day. Made my year!

I think so many people now are worried that if they say anything about another person’s appearance they will get their head bitten off.

Well, let's see you and what you're wearing then :) xxx

I think you'll get a hard time too.

I give out compliments to others but rarely. But only if I've noticed a change. If someone has their hair differently or is dressed differently to usual or if they're wearing something particularly striking. I've completed a few strangers on their amazing coats!

Othr people's appearance doesn't really register otherwise.

I suppose if you always dress well and look well put together and always wear nice things, why would any one occasion be any more worthy of mention in their eyes than another? That doesn't mean they don't think you look nice but if you always look nice why comment today? Sort of thing.

Personally, I don't really care for compliments on my appearance. I know what I look like and don't need someone else too tell me whether they agree or not.

Maybe it's the dunning-Kruger effect making you think you "get clothes" , when really you don't "get clothes"?

I think this very much depends where you live / who you mix with. It’s very normal in somewhere like Liverpool to announce that someone looks gorgeous as soon as you see them and then appraise something in particular (eg. That dress is beautiful! Shows your figure off.), esp if you can see someone is ready for a night out/ occasion.

I remember being taken aback at university when I’d meet up with friends and nobody would say anything to anyone. I had to accept that some people just don’t do the same confidence boosts. It also meant that they were weird about accepting compliments. This is a massive generalisation obvs but I totally get what you mean.

I like clothes too (and belts, jewellery, accessories, etc). I'm not a fashion victim in any way, and i love getting a bargain from the charity shop or hand-me-downs from my mother/aunts. My tastes are a bit ecclectic, and i thunk most people don't 'get' it, but on the VERY rare occasion a get a complement i do really appreciate it. I also love complementing others, so yes, i absolutely get why you'd like to receive a complement.

I think many people just genuinely don't notice clothes, and the others that do can probably see that you're always really well put together and maybe think that you don't need a complement. They probably assume that you have tonnes of confidence and don't need the boost from a complement. I hate to be synical but most complements are given as a means to an end, or they're given out like charity to the most deserving.

I'm a man in my late 50s who dresses in that classic mens look, trousers, jacket, pocket squares etc. And I get compliments from other men....which is very very unusual. In fact Jackamo are a running an ad campaign based on it st the moment.

I have complimented other men, but whilst I would like to compliment women, especially older women, I just think it would be come across as creepy.

My wife does tell her friends and visa versa. In fact she's got a running joke that one of her friends thinks I always look "dapper" but has never seen my wife looking smart.

So perhaps its your friends?

No, I'm confident that I am relatively stylish, but it's not like my Raison D'Etre. I'm laughing at the French guy in the gallery, I would've had to marry him.

I’ve recently made a point of telling people if they look nice as I know when someone does it to me it makes me feel good!

I agree with @LauritaEvita maybe there is a "regional" aspect to it. As a Northerner its my experience that people there (particularly women) bolster each other's confidence and have no qualms telling each other how lovely their dress, shoes, hair is.
Living more southerly, not so much. People are more reserved about it. Nothing wrong with that.
I do think people are more wary these days in case they accidentally offend in some way. Which is a shame really. I know I think twice before making comments on anything remotely personal.

No one said I looked nice for years. Then I lost a stone in weight and improve dmy posture. Compliments started to return. Most of my friends (slimmer than me) still never give me compliments, but DH, DC and family do, and some friends do from time to time.

Do you carry yourself with confidence? Do you add small flourishes to your outfits, that accentuate them and show you have made an effort. Tiny things like a wrist cuff or earrings or a belt make the difference between looking like you got dressed and looking like you put thought into the outfit.

Tell us more - what boots, what coat, what dress? That would make my day too.

It's lovely that you are aware of not wanting to be creepy. But I think the art to giving a non creepy compliment to a woman if you are a man, is to focus on the clothing not the person. If you say, 'Great dress' it's not creepy. But if you say, 'You look great' it suggests you are appraising the person and gets a bit wolfish.

Confident I've never worn a wrist cuff (?)
im not going to take a photo of myself. Sorry lads ;)

Oh you mean bracelet cuff?! Lol. I see.

I think more often than not, people notice something a bit different, or showing a bit of effort or bright colour. I get compliments when I wear red, or sequins or something that make people smile. Simple beautiful navy dress on its own? not a pip.

You can style a jean/ tshirt (or a dress or whatever) as well as you want, it's still a pair of jeans and a tshirt, however much you accessorise etc. That is an example, I am not saying you are wearing jeans.

No one really cares if you wear something that is well cut, well styled but not actually noticeable or out of their comfort zone.

It seems like you know you look good, so maybe that confidence makes people less likely to compliment your outfit? As in it might seem like you don't need to be told you look good. Or possibly they're slightly intimidated by the fact you're clearly very stylish.

Or it could simply be most people aren't into clothes in the same way you are. So they fail to notice. Especially if you look well put together all the time.

People do sometimes say I look nice but usually it's because I've made a bit of effort as opposed to slobbing about in vests and joggers with holes in! So the bar for me is set pretty low! 🤣

Yeah @BillieWiper as I typed that I realised that sounded a bit swagger 🫠

@JuliettaCaeser Love this! Am reading it in a french accent and it just makes it better. How lovely for you. 😁