To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

You do realise he paid too?

This is an incredibly stupid statement. I don't want to hear anyone scream? Why should someone pay for a theatre performance and have to endure screaming.

There are disabled people who are prone to doing random violent acts towards others (not just screaming) Should the public have to put up with that and accept getting hit a bit because "they can't help it".

It will change when people start abandoning the theatre, meaning that it's not financially viable anymore. If I have to deal with patrons who detract from my watching the performance on the regular (and I mean anyone, including people who sing along or kids who kick seats and aren't told to stop), I'll just watch a stream of the performance, if available, or not go.

I don't often go to the theatre and I"ve never had a problem when I have. I do go to movies often and I do go to the more exclusive sessions (avoids kids). If those became difficult, I'd just wait for the release on streaming instead. Most movies I go to are very quiet these days.

And? He has paid to enjoy the performance, not ruin it for others. When I pay to go to the movies, i pay to watch the film, not scream and shout and ruin the experience for everyone else in the cinema.

Its pointless to argue with you because you have no interest in listening.
Try if you can to imagine that this person's enjoyment is just as valid as your own.

That's the pot calling the kettle black. His enjoyment doesn't trump the enjoyment of dozens of others.

They can enjoy it all they want.

Are you saying everyone should have to accept his behaviour which reduces the enjoyment of their own?

It's not his mere presence, but his actions that ruin the experience for others. So his enjoyment is worth more than others (he ruins it for everyone else).

You have no interest in listening..if he was a violent autistic person and started attacking everyone else when he "overwhelmed" by the performance would that be acceptable?

We think alike

Oh I'm trying so hard not to use expletives...
Just stop. This person was not violent.

I've giving a hypothetical..... "But they can't control it. They are just disabled."

He was being loud and shouting. Being completely disruptive to all the people trying to watch the performance.

You all the expletives you want. I fail to see how you can win the argument, but go on.

I'd say you weren't even there but you'd counter with neither were you so what's the point.
I believe theatre performances are open to all humans, you don't. Agree to disagree

Yes, because everyone knows that unless you can afford the (very) expensive luxury of going to the theatre more than once a year, you can't be living a full and active social life! 🙄

And to plenty of disabled people as well

It isn’t, if reasonable adjustments are made and a disability still results in behaviour that is disruptive to others, it’s not illegal to ask them to leave.

The right to life and liberty is enshrined in law and the fact that this hate filled and discriminatory thread should have been taken down long before now as it is encouraging discrimination and hate towards the most vulnerable in society.

It’s just as valid.

But his disability related behaviours should not súpercede the enjoyment of all other patrons, or indeed the ability of the performers to do their jobs.

It’s not his enjoyment of it that is the issue. I’m sure every person on this thread would want him there if it was possible to soundproof the outbursts.

Some disabilities are not yet compatible with some environments. Lots of noise in a very quiet place is one of them.

You realise lots of us posting are disabled?

You realise that advocating for situations such as in the OP means that many others are discriminated against and excluded?

Who are you to judge what is considered as a full and active social life for my disabled child? You don't know anything yet think you can make judgements on where and how often they can go to places of THEIR choice . This hate filled and discriminatory thread should have been taken down long before now as it is encouraging hate towards the most vulnerable

Considering your username i think you should rethink your position
No need to be apologetic about disabled people

I'm not judging your child, I'm commenting that your blanket statement about what constitutes a full and active social life is incredibly privileged, out of touch, and – frankly – wrong.

It's entirely possible to have a full, rich social life without going to the theatre whenever you like, whatever the reason is that you can't go.

Odd that you say I don't 'know anything'? I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm not sure where the hate is, either. People just seem to want to know that when they pay a lot of money to go to a performance, as a very rare treat, that they'll be able to enjoy it without constant disruptions that ruin the night.

It’s a really tricky one. On the one hand, he is as entitled to go to watch that performance as anyone else, but on the other hand, he’s disrupting the performance for both cast and audience.

If he was shouting throughout- could he hear the performance either?

One solution is for performances to be filmed for people with involuntary tics/noises to make it a more comfortable experience for them (it can’t be pleasant to be unable to control that in an environment where the audience are expected to sit and listen) and the wider audience/cast. Another solution is to have set disability friendly shows, where the rest of the audience is aware in advance that there may be noise or distraction.

I was a huge theatre-goer when I was young. At the ballet I remember sitting next to someone who must have something like MS - she had these involuntary movements and tics that got worse and worse. We were in sideways seats too which was already restricted view so she was effectively sitting in front of me. It was distracting and I felt for her but I was really upset. I didn’t say anything but she left after the interval.

I have an autistic child. I advocate for him like crazy. But here’s no way would I take him to a performance that is supposed to be quiet and isn’t relaxed. He gets so
excited, gets on his feet and jumps or dances, shrieks, talks loudly to himself, asks questions and spoils the ending if he knows it, leaves the theatre and comes back. It makes me happy as he is clearly loves it. But even in a relaxed showing I make sure to seat us somewhere on our own, so that my child has space but also I don’t want him to spoil it for others.

Inclusivity is putting on more relaxed performances, not pushing everyone into the same one and expecting it to be ok - it’s not fair for anyone, and certainly not to the ND person.

OP YANBU, I’m sorry you had a rubbish time. I don’t agree with your DH at all.

I think also a reason people also go to live theatre is that it’s a communal experience and it’s to be enjoyed with everyone around you. If I wanted to enjoy it on my own I could just stream it. If one person is disrupting the enjoyment of others then I wouldn’t say that person is getting the complete theatrical or cinema experience they are supposed to be getting either.

Relaxed performances are not about separating disabilities from non-disabilities - they are to allow people who need to make noise, run around, leave / re-enter the theatre, to be as comfortable as possible.

I think that this may be a good example of equality vs equity. Equality would be putting everyone in the same performance, regardless of needs. Equity would be putting on as many relaxed performances as there are non-relaxed - the West End does very few of them so this is what we need to work towards.

can you be more patronising?

I don’t need to rethink my position

or do all disabled people need to be told how to think if it doesn’t agree with you?

competing needs of disabled people means that not all environments can be all inclusive to all needs

which means when reasonable adjustments aren't enough, some places aren’t accessible

ive found a lot more happiness accepting that and id rather spend my time advocating for more suitable options - like more relaxed performances - than spoiling things for other people