To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

Not everywhere is suitable for everyone and logically it really cannot be. It's a fact of life.
Like would you demand woodland off path organised foraging walk to change into walk on pavement by the woods to make it accessible? Usually nowadays theatres have specific more relaxed show times which are there exactly for the reason of accessibility.
Accessibility needs to be reasonable so everyone can enjoy or do what they came to enjoy or do. It's to absolutely no one's benefit if it's done the way the event is ruined for everyone.

thank you ❤️

OP, i have had a couple of experiences at theatres of selfish, noisy, irritating people and it has completely put me off booking anything in the last few years.

Pure ignorance.

YANBU to have been pissed off about the enjoyment of the show being spoiled for you and an entire audience.
I am disabled, so read my comments in that light.
When posters are saying you do not take a screaming baby to a concert, they are not saying that the disabled person is a baby, they are saying that for both there are situations that they cannot be a part of without causing distress to others.
Now, if you are disabled, that is not great to know, but it is true.
Theatres now have relaxed performances to take account of this without spoiling the enjoyment of others, and someone who is unable to control their sounds should go to one of those.... that is what they are for.
Rights come with responsibilities. A disabled person might feel they have the right to go to a performance, but they also (like all people) have a responsibility to consider others.
In my book it is patronising to a disabled person to say they should not recognise their responsibilities in the same way as a non- disabled person.

Most west end theatres do one or two “relaxed showings” a YEAR and they sell out instantly. It’s not like these tickets are easy to get. I agree with Fergalicious. Either you’re inclusive or you’re not - asking people to stay hidden away because it inconveniences you is not inclusive.

The relaxed shows aren't suitable for everyone either.

Someone in a wheelchair could absolutely go on the path while others went in the woods, so not really comparable.

I would, and do advocate, for those who can't easily do things, and have very small worlds, to be supported to do things they enjoy, yes.

then it is on all of us to request more of these performances, surely?

Your DP seems to think inclusive means excluding everyone without the protected characteristic. It doesn't mean that. Doubtless the man disrupting everything was enjoying the show. Doubtless others were annoyed but I would have been just as annoyed at your sanctimonious DP. Had he said that our enjoyment may have been impinged but that a disabled person's enjoyment is no less important than mine I would have been better pleased.
I remember being infuriated at a rare cinema showing of Fantasia, to which I took my DC, by a father explaining everything constantly to his small DD. It didn't wreck the outing, but I think he was out of order in several ways. Watch and enjoy - why does it need a commentary? If DD not old enough to understand do not take her to see it.

People with disabilities usually have concessionary tickets at less popular times, matinees etc.

I get that your viewing of the performance was disrupted but 'ruined' seems a bit extreme. The people on stage had microphones.

Hi op of course this is frustrating but did you tell the ushers because if you didn’t and they were not aware then there is nothing you can do. You should have addressed it at the time. The carer was selfish for staying and I’m sure the cast didn’t appreciate the shouting either.

But not all shows offer autism freindly performances though. It’s a tough one. I think his carers should have taken him out once it was clear he was disrupting things , but it sound like it would have been obvious to them that it would happen.

YANBU
I'm sorry you didn't get to enjoy the show. I do find it unreasonable that people with disabilities are treates as superior and have a higher priority. Especially for acitivities for all. Going to the theatre is not a cheap and is a treat for yourself and a lot of people. To have someone who clearly is going to be disruptive throughout, isn't fair.

I too don't know what the answer is. But inclusivity to such an extent doesn't alwaya work and isn't fair. It's not unreasonable to have tolerance but constant disruptions also affect able bodied/minded people.

It is lawful to exclude people where it is proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim, this is part of the equality act. In this case the legitimate aim is that the performers are uninterrupted and the audience get to hear the performance.

The arts are great at considering accessibility and there are lots of inclusive shows.

I think asking for your money back is reasonable, although they'll probably want to know why you didn't complain at the time. Possibly you could have been moved to another section..

This is literally what relaxed performances are for so no, YANBU. And I say this as a parent to a son with ASD

YANBU OP. The same as a screaming baby should be removed, they can’t communicate in a quiet manner either.

And I’d dump your partner for considering the needs of a complete stranger over you.

Yeah, dump your partner @shouldwejust , he's definitely the problem here 🙄

I just don’t go to the theatre any more. It costs so much, and it is so easy for the experience to be ruined one way or another.

Not surprised by these responses. MN is just disgustingl ableist. And it's been brought up to MN many times and they don't care.

You fit right in OP.

I think people should absolutely advocate for more options for those who cannot do things easily, but you are here advocating for everyone else to not be able to do the things then. What do you think will happen to theatres when people stop booking because they had number of experiences like OP. And to people's worlds?
Rather than"well ask theatre for refund" or "don't go" advocate for more suitable show times to be put on. That way everyone can enjoy it and no one's world will have to be small.

You realise that many autistic people would have even less ability to tolerate such a disruption that the average nt member of the audience yes?

Autism friendly means lower lighting, lower volume etc. Its friendly to those who are autistic meaning there's less chance of sensory overwhelm.

That was a very ignorant comment

I’m sorry for your sons, but do you genuinely think it is ok for the experience of hundreds of people who have paid a lot of money and may be having a rare treat to be spoiled when the needs of your sons can be fairly accommodated by a relaxed performance?

You are entitled to your views but you rent being reasonable or fair to everyone else if you behave in that way,the crying baby or ringing phone are a good analogy here.

And there is no need to be abusive to OP or PPs.

I’m a support worker and no way would I take someone disruptive to a theatre performance, it’s not fair on everyone else. Like everything in life there is balance.

Quite frankly there’s no shame in asking for that. You seem to think there is. You do you and the rest of us will respond perfectly reasonably.