AIBU to ask where to meet men without online dating?

[Lonelymarrusge]

Where can I meet a man for friendship and companionship without using online dating? I’m in my late 30’s. I don’t go to bars/clubs and don’t want to meet sleazy men on the internet.

I live in London so must be lots of ways but I don’t know.

The obvious ones are at work and at hobbies but presumably you have tried those without any luck so far?

Must be thousands of ways in London.

Join groups for walking, running, cycling, or any such hobby.

However, I can tell you this as a guy, very few men will want a platonic friendship with a woman. Some may say this but it’s highly unlikely. They almost always will want more as otherwise they can just meet another guy for said activity.

You may want to find a gay man who would have zero interest in anything more. Just trying to be realistic so you don’t waste your time.

That’s rubbish. Plenty of men and women have platonic friendships

I can tell you this as a woman, 'highly' unlikely is an exaggeration.

BS

I've lots of platonic friendships.

As a pp said, it's just work and hobbies really.

The pub was where we always used to meet boys (happy days the 80's). There's nothing like the feeling of eyeing someone up that you fancy in the pub. Thats why internet dating never worked for me. I need to have that "spark" BEFORE I go on the date, not hope to get it afterwards, that just feels contrived.

To everyone who said they have platonic relationships, if you were to call the man now and say that you’ve changed your mind and would you come round and sleep with me, would he be round in 5 or 10 minutes?

Nope.

Pub

If the OP doesn't go to "bars/clubs", why would she want to go to a pub?

Because in a pub you can do stuff like just chill in the beer garden or play a board game or go to an open mic

Yes, fair point actually.

No

I’m female, my male best friend (straight, promiscuous (his word)) would cry laughing and ask if I’d had a knock to the head. We’ve been friends since we were teens, always just friends. I’ve spoken to dozens of his ‘partners’ in my/our kitchen (we used to share a flat) on weekend morning. Never saw any of them twice, still never slept together or wanted to, even in a dry spell 😂

Screwfix 😂

You should try a Ceroc dancing class. Check online for your nearest class. It is really a great way to meet people. You don’t need a partner so you’ll meet many single people. There are usually weekly classes with a lesson each night so you soon pick it up. Then after the lesson there is music and dancing. I found the classes so friendly. You change partners all the time. So plenty opportunity to chat. You don’t have to wait for a man to ask you to dance as women are encouraged to ask the men too. I can’t recommend it highly enough. Ceroc is a big organisation and you will find that you can go on Ceroc holidays too. I went on the Ceroc Med cruise one year. Please give it a try.

I was going to suggest a running club.

Dancing classes are a good idea as well, as long as there's a decent number of men in the class.

I know one married couple who met at Ceroc and one couple who met at a speed dating event.

I second screwfix. Or somewhere like Wickes. Not B&Q, probably have no idea what they are doing.

I also know a couple who met through dancing, but I think that in general there are more women than men in most dancing classes.

I think it's difficult for a lone woman to start talking to unknown men in the pub. A social event in a pub, such as meetup, would be much easier.

Surely it would be easier to make friends with women if you just want friendship? Men will want a shag.

Get a load of tradies round to give you quotes for ficticious work you want doing. I have about an 80% success rate of being asked out this way (i've only gone out with one of them!).

Just to add, the tradie work was genuine, i needed the blokes there to complete work, but got asked out non stop and struck up platonics with a couple of them. All very fit and useful men!!!

So true! Also, try your local beer festivals. Lots of single blokes go to these.