To be upset about invitation

[aquamariner]

A colleague is getting married in a few months . We are a small team of ten. I’m only recently seeing a man . We’re in our fifties. It’s going well.
The invitations arrived today. I am invited solo. All other team
members are married or in a long term
relationship.
Theor oh have been invited . I’m the only one invited as a solo.
Im hurt and embarrassed and do not want to go but I’m in the management end of things so I feel like I must as it’s the right thing to do . AIBU to feel upset ?

I am still hurt, yes. I’ve found out that one of the staff.. a part time, temporary member has also been asked and as she has a boyfriend, she’s 22, she’s also been asked with her boyfriend . They’re not friends but as she has a boyfriend, she’s also got the ‘couple’ invitation.
The secretary is also invited, again with her husband so I feel like shit as no one really knows the secretary not to mention her husband , tbh.
The bride discussed it with another member of admin staff and it transpires that she felt under pressure to ask all the team and as etiquette would suggest, also felt she needed to ask all spouses and partners .
The overwhelming feeling here among staff is that it is was a poor decision to have me as the only single invitation, yet on here it seems totally understandable.

But you don’t have a partner. You have a new guy you are dating. I wouldn’t invite him. I would invite long term partners.

Well around here etiquette suggests that I should have received an invitation for a plus one also as we are all working together for years

They haven’t invited a plus one for you because a guy you’ve been dating for 3 months IS NOT YOUR LONG TERM/SERIOUS PARTNER.

Just don’t go.

Yes, you’ve all worked together for years so you’ve all been invited to her wedding. How lovely, that’s a lovely workplace.

And she has stuck to the usual etiquette but inviting the spouses and long term partners of those who have them, which is very generous given how much extra that will cost the couple.

You are not married nor do you have a long term partner. You don’t need a plus one to a colleagues wedding. Would be different if this was close family and you were in the top tier of guests, but you’re not.

I think you're right. Who on earth thinks it's ok to give EVEYONE ELSE in the whole organisation a plus one except you. The people on here are bonkers OP.

I'd give someone a plus one even if i knew they were single, especially if everyone else gets to take a guest.

But how long has the p/t member been with her boyfriend- long term? And the clue is in the word, husband, ie again, long term. You’ve been with your partner a matter of weeks, and he probably wasn’t on the scene when the bride was drawing up lists.

You’re being a guest-zilla.

You’ve known him 5 minutes, the B&G shouldn’t have to pay for him to go. You’re with people you know. Get a grip OP.

Why did you bother posting in AIBU? You clearly think you are not.

OP, you need to stop talking about this around the office. Don't bring it up to anyone you work with, don't engage in anyone else's discussions about it and don't passively indulge other people stirring up drama about it. Especially since you're in a management role.

Decide whether you'll attend and socialize with your team or decline the invite - either is perfectly ok. Work through your hurt feelings and feelings about starting to attend social events post-divorce with non-work friends and/or a counselor. But do not let this become some toxic office drama that damages your team or your own reputation as a professional.

I'd just not go if I was you.
Unfortunately how long a partner has been around does make a difference. As per your OP they've all been in long term relationships so it's clear they'll most likely still be together in a few months.
Your recent relationship might not even still be around then. Do they even know you are in one?

Weddings are expensive and inviting couples is the usual thing but when it's a new relationship they might not know you're in it, or the person will stick around I think it's fair to not include them that soon. These days people don't seem to invite a person with an open ended "any old plus one".

Going by the recent replies you're never going to see or comprehend the difference so don't go. You're even using the fact one is 22.. Age is irrelevant.

If it were me in a brand new relationship with something coming up he wasn't invited to and I was still in that honeymoon stage of "joined at the hip could not possibly spend one day doing something without them" then I'd just decline and say I had plans already.