To be upset about invitation

[aquamariner]

A colleague is getting married in a few months . We are a small team of ten. I’m only recently seeing a man . We’re in our fifties. It’s going well.
The invitations arrived today. I am invited solo. All other team
members are married or in a long term
relationship.
Theor oh have been invited . I’m the only one invited as a solo.
Im hurt and embarrassed and do not want to go but I’m in the management end of things so I feel like I must as it’s the right thing to do . AIBU to feel upset ?

Why are you embarrassed??

You are capable of attending events without your new boyfriend

I think you’re being unreasonable sorry. If you have only been seeing this guy for a while presumably the couple don’t know him? Do they know the spouses/partners of hour other colleagues? I wouldn’t want someone I didn’t know at all at my wedding.

Why would she want someone she doesn’t know there, or even the fact you hardly know him yourself! Give over!

I am but would have liked a plus one invitation even if I didn’t have a boyfriend.
I can’t explain why I feel embarrassed. I guess I’ve never been invited or gone to a wedding solo before .

I wouldn't want to invite my friend or colleagues new boyfriend to my wedding, I wouldn't know them and they might not even be together by the time the wedding came

The couple do not know any of the spouses

You're being really unreasonable here OP. It's absolutely normal to not invite short term partners to your wedding.

It’s pretty normal not to get a wedding plus one. Only long term relationships like spouses or live in partners, which are named invitations, not generic plus ones, are included.

You really don’t have to go to a work wedding. They will be just as happy to receive a card and perhaps a token gift.

This, would you spunk £200+ on a meal for someone you don’t know? @aquamariner who should she dump from her invite list to let your new
boyf come!

When I went to one of my best friend's weddings, my new man (at the time) wasn't invited. Seemed reasonable to me - you want friends / colleagues / family / their long term partners there, not strangers.

And it's not like you won't know anyone there.

@OnelifeonlyBut all the staffs partners and spouses are strangers ..

Normal. How recently is "recent"?

A few months

2? 6?

It’s normal to not invite a brand new partner to a wedding. YABU

Are you actually comparing your very new relationship, which may have ended well before the wedding, to your colleagues’ longterm ones? You’re being deeply unreasonable to expect an ‘extra’ invitation.

Personally I find it totally weird to invite people you don’t know to your wedding, I am amazed that plus 1s are still a thing tbh.

Of course I’m not comparing mine with anyone else’s🤣 Im saying that im
the only
one going alone as I haven’t been invited with a plus one and bearing in mind that the bride and groom don’t know any of the teams spouses/ partners either , I was hurt and embarrassed that I was the only one that got the solo invitation

Yes but they’re in established relationships you’ve said yourself this is a new relationship it’s a world of difference

as people have said you might have split up by then!

I get it, it’s hard going to things on your own when everyone is with someone else, they have a fall back and some that’s there for them.

But you either brazen it out, go and enjoy yourself, or make your excuses. Think of it like a work event.

Thank you @Namenamchange. I’m feeling hurt and weird about it . I love my freedom after a shit marriage but this is my first wedding invitation since so maybe im
a bit sensitive

I will be blunt…get a grip Op. So what if you’re going solo?

It’s not even as if you don’t know anyone else there.

You’ll probably be seated next to your colleagues and can chat to them and their partners.

If you’re that bothered about it just sent a present instead and don’t go.

I wouldn’t invite a new boyfriend to a wedding either, or even a birthday bash. He could more likely turn out to be a complete weirdo than someone who’s been with their partner for a while and presumably has been to various weddings and other events with them and know their character well.

You are invited solo because you are single. I’m not sure why that’s so upsetting.

You recently started seeing a man. It’s new. Despite it going well, your colleague likely doesn’t know how it’ll end up any more than you do. Your new man is a stranger almost to you as much as to them. Why would they invite him?

A few months usually means 3 or 4.

3 months