To be upset about invitation

[aquamariner]

A colleague is getting married in a few months . We are a small team of ten. I’m only recently seeing a man . We’re in our fifties. It’s going well.
The invitations arrived today. I am invited solo. All other team
members are married or in a long term
relationship.
Theor oh have been invited . I’m the only one invited as a solo.
Im hurt and embarrassed and do not want to go but I’m in the management end of things so I feel like I must as it’s the right thing to do . AIBU to feel upset ?

You are being sensitive and weird about this honestly

you’re colleagues not friends/family. Your entire invite was extended because of politeness, you’re not a priority guest here for the bride / groom for them to extend a plus one. I don’t mean that in a nasty way but I think you’re overstepping normal colleague boundaries. When you’re planning a wedding sometimes you don’t allow friends and family to bring plus ones for a number of reasons, let alone colleagues. There is going to be a social hierarchy here. Numbers might be tight etc, budget reasons.

secondly, you’ve known the guy for 3 months. You’re 50. It’s totally normal for your colleagues to not have taken such a recent relationship into consideration. You have been with him for 0.5% of your entire life. It is relevant that others invited are in long term relationships.

YANBU op! The couple should have either issued all work colleagues with a plus one invite or none at all. It’s natural you will feel embarrassed by being invited solo while everyone else im work has a plus one- how are people even giving you grief for that?

3 months is nothing. The fact you can't understand why a couple wouldn't invite their colleague's boyfriend of 3 months to their actual wedding makes me think you must be very young.

Why on earth would anyone feel embarrassed? This is really way overthinking this

oh come on 3 months is nothing 😂 you could be spiilt up by the time the day comes!

I don’t think the B and G have done anything wrong. They don’t even know if you will still be dating this man by the day of their wedding.

Yes it may feel awkward when you are the only one from your group going solo but the reason why is clear to everyone and I’m sure you haven’t been singled out. Any other guests not in long term relationships will also be invited solo.

This is the B and Gs day. If you feel you can go along and celebrate them, go. Otherwise it’s fine to send your regrets.

I agree with you OP, if it's about not wanting a stranger at the wedding why are the other partners invited, they won't have ever met those people either. And why can't you just come on your own, well why can't your colleagues just come on their own? They could but don't want to?? Exactly the same as OP then.

I think everyone should get a plus one, or no one does. It should be the same in each group (close family, extended fam, friend group, colleagues).

However, few people agree with us. So we just have to accept that.

I wouldn't invite you to a wedding with your partner of 3 months. Probably because am sure most of the arrangements & budget for everything were done months ago rather than didn't want to meet him.
Not sure why you're embarrassed though, strange reaction. Go to the wedding, have fun? Or not. Either way it's up to you and hope you and the fella carry on getting along well.

You’ve been with him 12w and want an invite to a wedding in a few months so assume summer wedding

I have cheese in my fridge older than your relationship 😂 - that’s not meant to be rude - but simply pointing out 3mths is nothing in dating times and especially not for weddings and extra costs to the b&g

I think the majority on here are mad!

You dont ever give an invite to a wedding for one person, you say plus one

Why? Can't people do things themselves?

Weddings are expensive nightmares and guest lists are a battleground. That’s why they aren’t giving everyone a plus one. It’s not about you.

I have never received a plus one invitation in my life.

I agree with a blanket plus one invitation for work colleagues, or no plus ones for work colleagues at all.

You are free to have a 'prior commitment' and send them a lovely card.

The length of your relationship and whether it will last would be a consideration if family were inviting you, but work friends should be all of a piece imo.

Same

Your colleague may have had to make some tough decisions to keep the guest list at a certain #? If you want to hint at the offense you could maybe address your wedding gift as from Yourself + Your Partner, but honestly you needn't be embarrassed at all, it's thoughtful of your colleague to invite you & the rest of your team, and there will be plenty of other guests there for you to socialize with, all of whom will be in various relationship statuses. Go & have fun 😺

What is there to be embarrassed about? I've been to several weddings alone, it didn't bother me at. It's not as though there won't be people there who you know.

Bit early to introduce a new bf to work colleagues. And he won’t know anyone.

Feel happy you’re invited, go alone and have fun.

Is the bride or groom aware?
A set number for the invite?
Just go and surely you will have a blast at the wedding.

You’re unreasonable to expect a plus one invitation to accommodate a 3 month relationship. That would be unusual. Go to the wedding and shave a great time.

I am getting married next year and we have invited some partners we barely know - our friends are part of a group and it felt uncomfortable to invite most partners and leave a couple out. It was all or none really.

This has meant making compromises elsewhere!

l
I have attended many work weddings by myself and I love it .
I chat with work colleagues or with other guests . I really don’t think about it tbh

I think you are being unreasonable OP. as do 96% of voters as it stands.

Weddings cost an absolutely fortune per head nowadays. Who in their right mind would invite the boyfriend of a colleague when the relationship is only three months old?

You asked the question and have had it answered in the voting.

I understand why you feel like that op. You're the only one on their own and you feel different to the others. Please be assured that this doesn't make you a failiure or 'lesser' than the others, and your colleagues won't be thinking that either.

Tbh, i bet there are one or two unhappy marriges amoung them, and some might even be looking at you with envy that you're 'free and single' and at the beginning of an exciting new relationship - it's human nature to look at others and think they're the lucky one and you're the odd one out, but try not to think like that.

I went to a 50th birthday / school reunion recently. I felt like i was the only one without a husband (i've never been married, out of choice). I looked at all my old contemporaries (with their bored husbands who clearly didn't want to be there, constantly on their phones), they didn't look particularly happy for the 'benefit' of their married relationships, and they weren't getting up to dance at all. I had loads of fun though.

Please just go with your head high, beam with happiness and have a lovely time. I guarantee you many will be looking at you and thinking you're the lucky one!

A plus one for a colleague’s 3 month long partner would be quite unusual in my circles.

Everyone does things differently so while one person may have only invited the work group with no partners, your colleague may have taken a “no ring no bring” approach (but inc long term relationships). I’ve known weddings like this.

Exceptions would include if it was a close relative’s/friend’s new partner (whether or not they’ve met the bride and groom) or if the invitee didn’t know anyone else.

You’ll have the rest of the group to socialise with, so just plan it out if you’re feeling nervous (eg travel, scouting people out to talk to, loo break to refresh or going to the bar etc)