To be upset about invitation

[aquamariner]

A colleague is getting married in a few months . We are a small team of ten. I’m only recently seeing a man . We’re in our fifties. It’s going well.
The invitations arrived today. I am invited solo. All other team
members are married or in a long term
relationship.
Theor oh have been invited . I’m the only one invited as a solo.
Im hurt and embarrassed and do not want to go but I’m in the management end of things so I feel like I must as it’s the right thing to do . AIBU to feel upset ?

I kind of agree, unless colleagues are having to travel far or stay in a hotel there’s no real reason why they should need to bring their partner. But just read some of these replies, I it’s a sign of the society we live in, people are often scared to do things alone so they get all horrified if they can’t bring their partner and even feel insulted on their partners behalf.

So maybe the bride to be feels it’s the “done thing” to offer a plus one even if it’s just coworkers.

I mean OP hasn’t been with this guy for two minutes and she’s already seemingly upset about going alone, so can you imagine how some of those who are married would react to no plus one? 😆

Married or LT - they did the right thing by inviting the partners

you have known your guy for 5 Minutes. They did the right thing by not inviting him. You know all the other people there so it’s not a big deal.

Sorry yabu. Is it for the full day? If so, I don’t think it’s the done thing to invite new partners. If it’s only for evening you are maybe a bit more justified in being peeved not have a plus one invite.

I didn’t invite my best friends boyfriend-they are now married. He survived and she wasn’t embarrassed. I had met him.

I don't blame you for feeling a bit awkward going alone when all your other colleagues will have significant others with them. That's perfectly understandable, and anyone telling you to woman up and go and enjoy are not thinking it through. I wouldn't expect a plus one either though.

I would decline the invitation. I know it's your work group, but what the heck, no one will lose their job if you decline! Just make up some excuse, no one will care. Buy a decent gift, go the the hens if invited and bring Bridie out to lunch just the two of you before or after the wedding.

You will feel so relieved not to have to sit as a solo amongst a group of couples. I wouldn't go myself, but I wouldn't expect an invite for DP either if only 3 months duration,

As you said yourself you’ve only been seeing him a short time, the others are married or in long term relationships. I think that’s perfectly fair and YABU.

The guest list may have been already organised before you were in your new relationship. It’s more common now to not include a plus one

My husband of 10 years was invited to a wedding with a plus one and I have met the bride many times. I wasn’t named in the invite . I did find that a bit odd!

Do they even know you’re in a relationship?!

Now weddings are so expensive I think plus ones have stopped being a thing. It’s normal to invite spouses/long term partner that are named, but not a random plus one. I’d only expect a plus one if the bride/groom was the only person I knew at a wedding, but as you’ll presumably know your colleagues I don’t think it’s odd you’ve not had one for your new boyfriend.

It's not as if you won't know anyone there so either suck it up and go or just make an excuse. You don't have to go but I think you're being unreasonable.

I do think there is a difference for a plus one if the couple live together.
Not inviting a partner of 12 weeks doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.
I don’t think the B&G were being rude in not inviting them so I wouldn’t take it personally

I went to a wedding solo, and I only knew the bride and groom. I had a lovely time. I knew I would, as everyone there was a friend or relative of the people who invited me. I don't know where your embarrassment comes from, though.

You seem whiny and needy
You have been with him for 5 mins
I've been to plenty of weddings on my own
It's about the couple getting married and their wishes

To be honest, if it was a work wedding I would prefer to go alone. My husband would be mightily relieved too!

If you don’t want to go alone, just politely decline asap, so they can invite someone else, and buy a decent gift. I can understand the wedding party’s thinking, it’s not personal or disrespectful OP. Spaces at weddings are finite. A colleague’s brand new bloke (3 months!) would not have priority over one of my parent’s good friends for example.

OP, if the wedding took place a few months ago (before you had a boyfriend) would you have gone to the wedding?

When my husband and I got married his cousin had just got with a new fella that we hadn’t met so she didn’t get a plus 1…..they split up before our wedding!

YABU - spouse or long term partners only

As everyone has said, a short relationship doesn’t warrant an invite.
I don’t think I would want to go
as a plus 1 with someone I had only been dating for 3 months either.
Generally weddings are pretty boring unless you are part of the main family and friends group.
I don’t think anyone else will think
anything of it and it would be far worse if you accepted the invite and split up before the event.
Either decline or go and enjoy the company of your workmates.

YABU. At £100ph these days easy, you’ve been with him 3 months. That’s absoloutely no tome at all.

Being a colleague you’re lowest down pecking order too, so they will be saving money. Who knows if you’ll last, it’s so new?

I really think it’s good form to invite an adult with the option of a plus one, but unless you or your partner are close friend or family, that can’t be expected.

Get a grip!
The couple have to pay per person, I wouldn't pay for your oh, you're in a ew relationship, hopefully it will last, but it may not and they'd have wasted money on that person. My friend came solo to my wedding, she was in a new relationship, I invited him to the evening reception and she was fine with that

All the reasons given on this thread are true, but they apply equally to people in LTRs including marriages. Cost, b&g don't know the partner, just socialise with others, can't you go anywhere alone, it will be more fun alone, the couple may break up in future. All true for everybody.

But your bf isn't a spouse or a partner. Case closed.

What is wrong with you? Are you 5? Or just an idiot.