This is an insult isn’t it?

[catsarekeytohappiness]

If a man said:

’I would much rather talk with you and have a conversation with you than have sex with you. But I wouldn’t choose talking to you over having sex. I would choose having sex with another woman over talking with you.’

That is a back-handed insult isn’t it? The first bit sounds fine, until it’s followed up by the second part. Is there any way that could be construed differently?

He doesn't fancy you.

Did he just say this out of the blue, or did you ask if would like to have sex with you?

It's over verbose rubbish and definitely an insult. What a twat.

Who is he?

If this is someone you are having sex with / in a relationship with / want either of those two things, then get away from this person and never have sex with them again.

Anyone else should keep their trap shut on their thoughts about having sex with you.

It's doubly an insult because he's assuming you're either not clever enough or too expectant of a compliment to be able to decode his deliberately muddled way of speaking. Doubtless he's seen this suggested by some nincompoop of a 'pick up artist' on TikTop and his tiny brain has been bowled over by the cleverness of it.

But in plain language:

Preference 1. Sex with another woman
Preference 2. Talking with you
Preference 3. Having sex with you.

= He'd rather shag some other woman than have sex or talk with you.

So the order of preference is

• sex with another woman
• talking with you
• sex with you

Not something I'd be happy with

This. There no room for ambiguity there, op 🤷🏻‍♀️

Who said it? If some random person decided to tell me they would rather talk to me than have sex with me and would also choose having sex with someone else over me, I wouldn’t care. Their loss on both counts frankly! But if it was a partner it would be the last conversation I had with them as my partner.

But he’s never once mentioned the prospect of sex with the OP at all has he? He’s just performed a double ‘neg’ - I don’t think you could even read between the lines and say that the third choice down the list is sex with the OP.

Straight out insult. I'd not waste another word on this one.

Well…yes he has it’s right there in the OP - “I’d rather talk with you than have sex with you”

ETA - but that doesn’t mean having sex with OP is his 3rd choice - maybe sex with every other man, woman and beast in the world and loads of other things come between 2 and 3 on the list, so it’s definitely a massive insult!

Sounds like negging to me, so you prove that you are worth having sex with by coming on to him.

Your ETA was exactly how I was looking at it! He’s never once said he even wants to have sex with OP or who would come further up his list of preferences! He says he’d rather talk to OP than have sex with them. But then says he would still rather have sex with someone else than talk to them at all… and that’s it. There is no ‘but after that it would definitely be sex with you on my list!’ It’s not referred to at all. He might prefer personal time with a hollowed out watermelon as option three - we just don’t know!

Ive said similar to men.

He's mentioned three things in his list, so it can be viewed as an order of preference for those three things.

A bit like a multiple choice question, where you are asked to choose between limited options rather than an open question. You might be asked:

Would you rather go to:

a. A cinema
b. A theme park
c. A health spa

You are not being asked what you would most like to do, as it's understood the list of possibilities would be much longer - you are being asked to choose a preference from a limited range of options, which might amount to a 'least worst' option.

In this example of negging, having sex with OP is ranked as the worst of three options while having sex with another woman is ranked as the best.

It isn't material whether his 'open' best option might be sitting on his arse playing Fortnite for six hours solid and his 'open' worst option would be taking a tour of the nearest sewage farm; he is only ranking three possibilities.

And why I am giving so much analysis to a twattish comment made by a twat is anyone's guess 😃

I do see what you mean and same to be fair in terms of giving time and headspace to this! I guess I thought the OP might come back rather than tumbleweed. I actually think it’s a triple neg as he didn’t explicitly say: “But in third place it’s OBVIOUSLY sex with you!!”

Wow, this man thinks he is terribly important doesn't he?! 😆

That that kind of statement that should be shut down with a comment like:

"Strange you would bother to say that given sex with me was a option you don't have, but you do seem a little delusion as I doubt there's women fighting for their place in a queue for you!".

Cut this twat loose whatever your connection to him is. He's an arrogant knob who likes insulting women.

I hope you told him that you weren't even interested in talking to him. Let alone have sex with him, so 👍

It’s not back handed in any way. It’s very clear and direct

That sounds like our Pries, (through the grill of the confessional box.)

£180 for a three bed semi detached, Band C, in the north west. It is peculiar why they haven’t updated the bandings since 1992. It’s a strange tax all round really. Not sure how you’d work it out to be more “fair”.

I would agree with your answer more than I would agree with the present government's taxation policy, but I wouldn't agree with the present government's taxation policy more than I'd agree with Thatcher's imposition of Right to Buy. I would agree with Harold Wilson's economic policy more than I would agree with your answer.

Or @Hallywally 's answer 😆