How do I control my jealously?

[ihateyousarahm]

I used to work in a team and one of the staff at the same level was horrible. Real attitude and causing lots of drama. I've left the company and she applied for team leader and got it. Hardly anyone else applied externally. They've had another restructure and now she's apparently in line for a £50k job.

Am I jealous or just don't want this horrible ex colleague to get good luck?

They've had the restructure and now there is a position which is £10k above her position and the director is apparently going to train her on the questions etc.

Do you think she thinks about you and seeks out information about your job moves and salary?

For your own peace of mind @ihateyousarahm you need to forget about her. She’s one ex-colleague who was a cow at a company you left. There are almost as many bitches and arseholes in jobs across the world as there are bitches and arseholes.

When you do stop caring you will kick yourself for caring for so long.

She's a former colleague? How long ago?

I think it’s great she’s getting on well, I’m always pleased for women who manage to do this.

You don’t particularly like her so you’re not pleased.

Just forget about her and get on with your life 🤷‍♀️

She pulls everyone down so that's how she gets on. She allowed someone to bully me and due to her being a senior managers best friends daughter I couldn't do anything.

She also pulled everyone down and told us we weren't good enough in a restructure.

And she's also treated her current staff bad, shouting at them etc.

Also withholds information so they don't do their job or get promoted.

By yeah having a vagina means you must like her

2 years

How do you know what she's like in her current job?

It is 2 years on and she has probably forgotten all about you. There are loads of awful people in the world who are in well paid jobs. There isn't much point in worrying about her.

And having a crystal ball instead of a vagina would’ve meant I knew all that…

Either way just get on with your life and stop paying her so much mind.

I know people who work work there

You haven’t worked with her for two years and you’re still obsessing on her?

I think you really need to let this go.

You need to focus on pulling youself up to the level you want to be at op. Not focusing on anyone else

I get it @ihateyousarahm it seems unfair how the nasty ones get promoted and I always think it says alot about the company who promote bullies.

Tell yourself it’s ok to feel like this but also it’s time to move on and not give her anymore of your precious headspace xx

Ignore the posters who must have never been treated like shit and then see that karma doesn't actually exist and life is just fucking cool and dandy for the horrible person.

It's shit. It's happened in my workplace. A dick is being promoted only because she is the daughter of one of the managers who in turn is also a dick. She is now our manager. It's shit. It hurts. You feel resentful.

But please please try not to ruminate on it. You're lucky you don't see her everyday as you don't work with her. Vent and get pissed off for a bit. But please focus on your life and let it go. x

Wow that's so amazing and so useful and wow it's all gone.

Yes!

I just wish I wasn't so alone and could have done something. Even now I want to just say "you treated me wrong".

The post said she was an awful person at work

How is your new job?

Yes I'm trying. I will distance myself from people feeding this info

Yes I think that's the problem. I wish I could pull myself up work wise

You'd be better off putting your energies into your own career rather than worrying about this woman's promotion. Karma has a way of catching up with people so it's very likely she'll get hers.

One person’s awful is not necessarily someone else’s.

If you want people to know what they’re like, it’s always better to explain rather than assume we know their history.

You’ve done that now.

Still as it’s been two years since you’ve worked with her, I’d look into some therapy as this doesn’t seem to be going away for you.

At the beginning I found it really really hard. There were other things too but generally a person who absolutely didn't deserve to be promoted got a fantastic job and should be set for life really without much help at all.

It was wrong, unfair, disgraceful and just writing about it is making my blood boil so you can imagine how I was at the beginning!

I was guilty of ruminating about it a lot and what helped ( and completely immature!) was focussing on her shit qualities / bad stuff - it's not really horrible, not like I took the piss out of her with others, just sort of to myself. It made me feel less resentful as I saw her a bit pathetic really and you're not going to be jealous of someone pathetic are you!

I don’t think the is a jealously issue actually. I think it’s a feeling you have of injustice. I would also feel similar. It’s sickening sometimes how people can behave so awfully and they always seem to land on their feet.

I am.

But I find promotion hard.