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AIBU?

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Original poster

How do I control my jealously?

32 replies

ihateyousarahm · 28/04/2026 20:27

I used to work in a team and one of the staff at the same level was horrible. Real attitude and causing lots of drama. I've left the company and she applied for team leader and got it. Hardly anyone else applied externally. They've had another restructure and now she's apparently in line for a £50k job.

Am I jealous or just don't want this horrible ex colleague to get good luck?

They've had the restructure and now there is a position which is £10k above her position and the director is apparently going to train her on the questions etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
ihateyousarahm · 28/04/2026 22:56

Classes · 28/04/2026 21:51

At the beginning I found it really really hard. There were other things too but generally a person who absolutely didn't deserve to be promoted got a fantastic job and should be set for life really without much help at all.

It was wrong, unfair, disgraceful and just writing about it is making my blood boil so you can imagine how I was at the beginning!

I was guilty of ruminating about it a lot and what helped ( and completely immature!) was focussing on her shit qualities / bad stuff - it's not really horrible, not like I took the piss out of her with others, just sort of to myself. It made me feel less resentful as I saw her a bit pathetic really and you're not going to be jealous of someone pathetic are you!

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Oh god she is pathetic, you are right.

She's a flat earther and promotes Andrew Tate as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
ihateyousarahm · 28/04/2026 22:56

FaceBothered · 28/04/2026 21:47

One person’s awful is not necessarily someone else’s.

If you want people to know what they’re like, it’s always better to explain rather than assume we know their history.

You’ve done that now.

Still as it’s been two years since you’ve worked with her, I’d look into some therapy as this doesn’t seem to be going away for you.

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You need therapy my dear

OP posts:
Auroraloves · 28/04/2026 22:58

Just be glad you are no longer on her team. Do you have s job currently and if so are you happy there?

Original poster
ihateyousarahm · 28/04/2026 23:01

Auroraloves · 28/04/2026 22:58

Just be glad you are no longer on her team. Do you have s job currently and if so are you happy there?

Im valued on the team

OP posts:
WannabeMathematician · 28/04/2026 23:02

Every time you think about it you are reliving it in a small way. So you can’t let go of the jealousy because you are experiencing the frustration and hurt of being bullied by this woman. You have to stop thinking about her. Every time you catch yourself thinking about her distract your self! Train your mind to just not think about her but making it not interesting to think about her.

Original poster
ihateyousarahm · Yesterday 08:13

WannabeMathematician · 28/04/2026 23:02

Every time you think about it you are reliving it in a small way. So you can’t let go of the jealousy because you are experiencing the frustration and hurt of being bullied by this woman. You have to stop thinking about her. Every time you catch yourself thinking about her distract your self! Train your mind to just not think about her but making it not interesting to think about her.

Thank you

OP posts:
Tablesandchairs23 · Yesterday 19:34

Its been 2 years and you don't work there anymore. Why are you letting her live rent free in your head.

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