Friend said my home, furniture and clothes are UGLY AND POOR

[Yourgurlmaddie]

This friend said she has a lot of work for dh. (He freelances). I told her dh broke his leg and unable to travel so she said I’ll come to him!

i never had this friend over before. (And she the kind of person who talks for hours and hours about herself only never asking how you are or letting you talk) and I don’t like having people over but it’s for work reasons so I agreed.

She comes, brings nothing! Just one document and says she forgot rest at home.

She then sits in our home for 7 hours! Playing music, chatting, talking about herself. From 1pm to 9pm

she then only leaves because her son calls her some kind of issue at home

she invites me for coffee few weeks later and she was complaining about how her son in bad with money, wastes all his money and has no savings etc

says “I don’t get it”

she then says “I don’t get you guys either. Your home and furniture are awful. So tatty, unattractive and old. when was the last time you had renovation? Your clothes too, when was the last time you went shopping? You live like poor people. I mean you live Like you are in poverty. To be honest I don’t get it either.”

she later texts me saying “ don’t get offended, I was just being honest, what kind of friend would I be not to tell you the truth xx”

wtf!

I would bet there's nothing wrong with the OP's home and she's just a bitch

Oh, f*ck. We have the same friend.

Hah, she sounds like one the "just telling it like it is" "like me or lump it" "im dead blunt me" which is usually code for thick gobby and irritating.
I wouldnt bother with her personally, but you could always inform her that you prefer worn furniture and shabby clothing to human tat if you wanted to "tell the truth" xoxo

A friend and her husband were looking at houses in my area once and they called in for a coffee between viewings. The husband proceeded to list all the reasons why he wouldn’t consider buying our house! It wasn’t for sale! We were so shocked that we weren’t as abrupt as we should have been however my husband did say, “Well we mustn’t keep you” in a very no nonsense fashion and took his mug out of his hand! Some people are just rude, just swerve her for ever if you can’t bear to do it face to face.

My parents are now both long gone, but Dad had a friend whose wife was loud and bossy to the extent that the wife's sister actually confessed to me that she found her loud and overbearing. She told me that she particularly disliked the way her sister bullied her BIL.

Mum tolerated the friend's wife for years, for Dad's sake.

Dad died first and Mum eventually moved in with us - she had developed dementia.

Mum was like me in many ways - put up with a lot and bit her tongue.

Dh and I went on holiday for 10 days, and Mum was in respite.

I got home to an angry phone call from the friend's wife. They'd gone to visit Mum in the care home. For an entire hour, Mum spoke not one word to them...

Finally, the wife had said "Well 'Anne', shall we come and see you again?"

Apparently, Mum had replied "Have I got an option?"

What a wanker.

Same here. Apart from my sofas and my bed, I don't think any of my furniture was bought new (one of my bookcases might be, but if it was, it was bought new at least 40 years ago, so it's old now!).

I bet OP's house is full of interesting old stuff, which imo is far nicer than something that looks like one of the room settings in Furniture Village. And far more sustainable.

Your "friend" sounds really unpleasant, OP.

TBH at that point the impudence would start to embolden me. Fight fire with fire.

She ain’t no friend. Pull back and let that ‘friendship’ wither if you’re being kind.

if not, tell her where to go.

And? This idea of conspicuous consumption and binning things because they are unfashionable or just old is killing the planet. I would far more judge people who slavishly follow the latest instagram fads and change their decor every 6 months.

Just tell her “you’re a rude bitch.” And block her.

Ha, what a rude snob she is!
If she’d ever been to a grand hereditary pile, the private areas actually lived in rather than the grand rooms the public are allowed to shuffle around, she’d know that they have tatty furniture, wear tatty clothes, and probably drive a tatty car. It’s not about money, some of the poshest rich people you could meet look like they’ve just been dragged out of a hedge. Never judge a book by its cover.
Your ‘friend’ is shallow, gauche and insecure, don’t let it rub off on you.

She's not a friend.

I hope you’re joking!

You're a lot more polite up there in NI, down here we'd just call her a cheeky stuck up cunt. Our house growing up was always a bit worn looking, our clothes were clean but not expensive, furniture was pretty old and yet it was the house everyone felt welcome in, my parents fed everyone who needed it and lots who didn't. My uncles girlfriend once commented on the house needing to be redecorated and yet her children were never allowed have toys out, friends in or to look anything other than perfect, as adults they spent far more time with my parents than their own. Some people never learn to look beyond the obvious to see the warmth, love, affection etc

She's no friend. Regardless of what she thinks of your house it's rude to say something like that. It's not the comments of a concerned friend. It's just mean.

But you really need to stand up for yourself. People like this don't care about offending you. Yet you don't want to offend her by telling her to go. it doesn't make sense.

When it was clear that she wasn't doing business with your DH, you say sorry, but I'm busy so you'll need to leave. You don't let her sit on your sofa for hours playing music and eating snacks. And you don't include her in your dinner plans. What she did was plain bad manners. You don't have to tiptoe around someone like this. They're too thick skinned. Be clear and firm.

She’s using you now as she’s exhausted her supply of friends.

Does your husband need this work? If not, I’d let her know how rude she was and that she’s no longer welcome at your house, then block her. If yes, then I think you still need to tell her that her comments were very hurtful and that she stayed far too long when you had family things to take care of, and for your relationship to continue you need to work on being more assertive and she must stop with the nasty comments.

What do travellers have to do with this?

I bet she didn’t say that to your DH when he was working for her!

Is she the sort of person who thinks everything should be the latest fashion/matchy-matchy, and that e.g. kitchens should be replaced every 5 years?
In any case, she sounds unspeakably rude and I’d have no problem in telling her so. Or preferably, just deleting her from my life altogether.

Send her this message:

You are an ugly bitch. don’t get offended, I was just being honest, what kind of friend would I be not to tell you the truth xx

I've been in homes where I've thought this type of thing. Needs a spruce up or all their taste is in their mouth etc.
But I don't SAY anything largely because I DONT CARE.
I'm there to see the person, not to critique their home. It's a passing thought at most. This is normal.
So she likes a beige floral. Or everything is grey or whatever it might be. So what? Unless the place is hoarded or filthy and full of rats it just doesn't matter.
Lots of people might not like MY home. Oh well. I don't care about this either.

Gosh, good for your husband! Sorry you had to hear this nasty shite.

She sounds like a strange one ...

LOLOLOL!!! DO this @Yourgurlmaddie 😆