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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend said my home, furniture and clothes are UGLY AND POOR

213 replies

Yourgurlmaddie · 21/04/2026 15:15

This friend said she has a lot of work for dh. (He freelances). I told her dh broke his leg and unable to travel so she said I’ll come to him!

i never had this friend over before. (And she the kind of person who talks for hours and hours about herself only never asking how you are or letting you talk) and I don’t like having people over but it’s for work reasons so I agreed.

She comes, brings nothing! Just one document and says she forgot rest at home.

She then sits in our home for 7 hours! Playing music, chatting, talking about herself. From 1pm to 9pm

she then only leaves because her son calls her some kind of issue at home

she invites me for coffee few weeks later and she was complaining about how her son in bad with money, wastes all his money and has no savings etc

says “I don’t get it”

she then says “I don’t get you guys either. Your home and furniture are awful. So tatty, unattractive and old. when was the last time you had renovation? Your clothes too, when was the last time you went shopping? You live like poor people. I mean you live Like you are in poverty. To be honest I don’t get it either.”

she later texts me saying “ don’t get offended, I was just being honest, what kind of friend would I be not to tell you the truth xx”

wtf!

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 21/04/2026 15:16

Is she right?

titchy · 21/04/2026 15:17

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Zippidydoodah · 21/04/2026 15:19

wow, how rude!

Of her and of your first two replies! 😜

Spirallingdownwards · 21/04/2026 15:19

She was rude but noone here can she whether she was being honest or just snarky because we don't know what your house is like and what clothes you wear.

dizzydizzydizzy · 21/04/2026 15:20

How incredibly rude! Very shallow. Furniture and clothes don’t matter (as long as you’re clean, warm and appropriate and have somewhere to sleep, eat and wash.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/04/2026 15:21

Some people do live like they’re penniless. It doesn’t matter how you choose to live, it’s none of anyone’s business

Yourgurlmaddie · 21/04/2026 15:23

This reply has been deleted

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And here we go

tell me what is so shocking and unrealistic about this that you are so sure it never happened.

this is why I hesitated posting this. Can’t post anything happening in your life anymore without someone jumping in accusing you of making things up

OP posts:
IamSmarticus · 21/04/2026 15:24

She's not your friend.

m1ghtl1ke · 21/04/2026 15:25

has she recently watched inventing Anna, as that’s that Anna says to the journalist

Yourgurlmaddie · 21/04/2026 15:25

Spirallingdownwards · 21/04/2026 15:19

She was rude but noone here can she whether she was being honest or just snarky because we don't know what your house is like and what clothes you wear.

I feel like it’s none of peoples business how others live

and unless people ask no one needs your “honesty”

If people are living like this they have their reasons, maybe they like it or it suits them

I think a lot about other people lives but you’d never catch me saying it out loud

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 21/04/2026 15:25

Stop being such a pushover and stop calling this person a "friend".

AmyDudley · 21/04/2026 15:27

What is your AIBU ?
Is it :
AIBU to cut off 'friend' because she is a rude moo ?
AIBU to think I should entirely change my home and clothes because someone said they are rubbish?
or
AIBU to never have anyone over to my house again because someone was once rude to me?

depending on the question my answers would be 'no' 'yes' and 'yes'

DalmationalAnthem · 21/04/2026 15:30

Whats the vote for?

What did you reply? She's not a friend. You could've ended the visit after an hour, max.

deserthighway · 21/04/2026 15:30

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Yourgurlmaddie · 21/04/2026 15:31

And What if people she was visiting and said this too were having financial problems?

OP posts:
Yourgurlmaddie · 21/04/2026 15:31

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Why are you so sure this never happened?

im actually interested

OP posts:
AttentionPlease · 21/04/2026 15:32

Yourgurlmaddie · 21/04/2026 15:23

And here we go

tell me what is so shocking and unrealistic about this that you are so sure it never happened.

this is why I hesitated posting this. Can’t post anything happening in your life anymore without someone jumping in accusing you of making things up

Edited

Because no one agrees for a friend to come over with work for their husband which it turns out they forgot anyway, and then lets them sit around for seven hours . You’d just say ‘Well, you’d better go home and get them’, surely? And then ‘We’ll, I must get in. Nice to see you’ after the work was done. I mean, no one has a spare seven hours to devote to a random playing music in your living room.

Noodledog · 21/04/2026 15:32

ThejoyofNC · 21/04/2026 15:16

Is she right?

Bloody hell, that's completely irrelevant, she shouldn't be so rude. Are you one of those "tell it like it is" horrors?

OP, I think you might have meant to say "ex friend" in your first post.

DoloresDelEriba · 21/04/2026 15:33

What a bizarre post. And sort of pointless. And my bar is pretty low…

Error404FucksNotFound · 21/04/2026 15:34

What are you going to say to her?

Because since she's such a big fan of honesty, I advise you to drop a fuckton of it on her.
Starting with how rude it is to sneer at people.

DoloresDelEriba · 21/04/2026 15:34

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Yourgurlmaddie · 21/04/2026 15:34

AttentionPlease · 21/04/2026 15:32

Because no one agrees for a friend to come over with work for their husband which it turns out they forgot anyway, and then lets them sit around for seven hours . You’d just say ‘Well, you’d better go home and get them’, surely? And then ‘We’ll, I must get in. Nice to see you’ after the work was done. I mean, no one has a spare seven hours to devote to a random playing music in your living room.

Your comment makes me realise what a horrible push over and pathetic i am

we always have people over staying because I can’t tell them this

this was Saturday, we had nothing going on. Hubby had broken leg so nothing to do. (He was in another room) But still I was getting tired of her and wanted her to leave.

“Well, you’d better go home and get them’, surely? And then ‘We’ll, I must get in.”

See I can’t say that. I don’t know why or what’s wrong with me. I’m totally socially awkward and I worry too much about sounding rude.

i can never in a million years say that

i know I should of, it’s my fault I know

OP posts:
Tryagain26 · 21/04/2026 15:36

She doesn't sound like a friend

Maray1967 · 21/04/2026 15:36

All you need to do is send her a very clear message.

As you’re a fan of honesty, you’ll not mind me saying how rude you were to …(list all the things she did).
Our friendship is over.

-that’s all you need to do.

InterviewGhost · 21/04/2026 15:37

This whole post is weird.

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