Friend said my home, furniture and clothes are UGLY AND POOR

[Yourgurlmaddie]

This friend said she has a lot of work for dh. (He freelances). I told her dh broke his leg and unable to travel so she said I’ll come to him!

i never had this friend over before. (And she the kind of person who talks for hours and hours about herself only never asking how you are or letting you talk) and I don’t like having people over but it’s for work reasons so I agreed.

She comes, brings nothing! Just one document and says she forgot rest at home.

She then sits in our home for 7 hours! Playing music, chatting, talking about herself. From 1pm to 9pm

she then only leaves because her son calls her some kind of issue at home

she invites me for coffee few weeks later and she was complaining about how her son in bad with money, wastes all his money and has no savings etc

says “I don’t get it”

she then says “I don’t get you guys either. Your home and furniture are awful. So tatty, unattractive and old. when was the last time you had renovation? Your clothes too, when was the last time you went shopping? You live like poor people. I mean you live Like you are in poverty. To be honest I don’t get it either.”

she later texts me saying “ don’t get offended, I was just being honest, what kind of friend would I be not to tell you the truth xx”

wtf!

Bin

You are a big grown lady ,
act like one op.
So you entertained her like a numpty for 8 hours?? Who does that. This is a you issue. If you behave like this people will treat you anyhow.
A very clear, I need to get stuff done now so I’ll see you out. It’s your house, you are in charge. She sounds like a horrible person. Aren’t you angry with her for disrespecting you like this?? And you still won’t even let her know how horrid she was to you

She is awful.

1. She is self centred.
2. Judges on appearances.
3. Lacks decency
4. Has no interpersonal skills
5. Is mean and nasty
6. She is selfish
7. Drains your energy

Its up to you OP, I would have told her to get out and get lost.

Don't take what she says to heart - she is a nasty piece of work with no boundaries.....too much time around her will not do you any good, she is a better enemy than a friend.

I can't even manage people I like for more than 3 hrs. A person that invites themselves over for 8 hours and also insults you? No way. Find your voice OP. The situation in it's entirety is strange and shd not have happened.

I still think it's rude to criticise someone's home unless they've asked for advice

That is really offensive!

Gosh, some friend! I would be giving her a verrrry wide berth from now on @Yourgurlmaddie Please don't take it to heart, she is very likely jealous of you. That's usually what's behind someone being nasty and cruel to someone about something.

OR she may be going through a bad/rough time right now, and is feeling shit, and lashing out/wanting to make others feel as crap as she does.

I'm sorry you feel hurt.

Most of my furniture is old because I like old things and prefer not to buy new unless I absolutely need to. Same with clothes, I love charity shops and the kids have mostly hand-me-downs. We have plenty of money, we just prefer to spend it on less material things. If a friend ever commented on it, I'd tell them I'm proud not to be consumerist. And I'd stop considering them my friend tbh.

It is a special kind of rude isn't it?

Cheeky bastard.

Tell her you like your home and you like your own style of clothes and if she doesn't like that then she can take a flying fuck to herself. 🤬. Some pal eh!!

Smarten up your house and clothes. End of.

She's rude af. But it was really strange of you to let her sit in your house for a full 7 hours when she didn't even bring the documents with her that was the reason she was coming over in the first place.

No friend acts like she did, but you need some boundaries.

Block, block, block. (But say your piece about her behaviour first!) I'm not always a proponent of blocking, but this kind of person is what blocking was invented for, imo anyway. She sounds absolutely vile.

I used to know someone like this, she'd be horribly insulting and then if called out on anything it'd be the big eyes and the 'What?! But it's truuuue! I was only being honest! You wouldn't want me to lie, would you?!' And these people never change, because they're in orbit around their own egos and will never accept they're doing anything wrong. (And re those on here who are totally missing the point by saying it sounds like she was just being honest, I can't help wondering if they're cut from similar cloth tbh.)

You're not pathetic, OP - ime sometimes the sheer nerve of people can be so great that it puts you on the back foot and leaves you unsure how to react - but you don't need someone like this in your life.

Wow! Sounds like you went to the same school of charm as the OP's friend!

FRIEND

A friend is a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, trust, and intimacy, distinct from family or romantic partners. They are typically defined as someone who provides support, companionship, and joy.

It was rude - it doesn't matter if she thought she was being honest or not - she wasn't asked for an opinion. Also see "don't mean to be rude" - no one should finish that sentence unless they wish to be rude because that's what's going to happen.

Yep, the 'friend' of the OP isn't fitting that description really is she?! 😬

I'd be tempted to reply 'if I was your friend I would tell you that you are a boring, self obsessed, bad mannered, superficial and arrogant woman. However I don't want a friend like that so I won't say it. I'll just block you and move on.'

You are as rude as the friend is.

How the OP has her house decorated is a matter of personal taste. Commenting is downright rude and the whole "i'm just being honest" stuff is rubbish, it's just out and out rudeness.

this person is not a friend. You may wnat to keep her as a business contact to get work for your DH but friend she ain't

This person is not your friend, you can do without her.
I hope your husband's injury repairs soon, poor soul. x

Why are you wasting your time with someone like this? She’s a rude user. Not a friend .

yup.....the digging a brand new patio kind.......

She sounds pathetic to be honest OP, I would have found this amusing if I'd received it (just so over the top and egregiously rude isn't it) but why were you allowing her in your home for this amount of time when it became clear she had no reason to be there?

Surely your DP can arrange his own freelance work if he wants it. Had she any plans to pay for this time that she arranged and subsequently took up for no reason?

I'd just message back something fairly final without engaging much, like " Thanks for the insights, don't recall asking but all the best, DP and I best you find someone else to sort (whatever it is your DP is supposedly doing) as this hasn't been a very good use of his time so far, please don't try to contact us any further about it' - then block and move on, she's not your friend.

I texted some old mutual friends (we used to hang out in one big group years ago) about this. They told me a while ago they no longer speak or hang with her. I didn’t ask at the time because I felt like that was their business and between them but I did this time

they replied. This is why

1. she told friends 1 daughter that her mom “does not look good” and “don’t tell her I said this tho lol ok hehe”. Her daughter obviously told her
2. Friend two said she began praising PUTINS confidence and ability to stay calm under pressure. Said he is her role model and she wants to be like that and is “studying” to be like him. This friend is UKRAINIAN