Is anyone being unreasonable here?

[ineousa]

My friend is getting married next Christmas (2027) and is really keen to have a winter sun hen do before the wedding, so we have been invited to Tenerife. There is no pressure to go if anyone doesn’t want to go. The MoH has added all the hens who want to go into a group, and there are about 20 of us. The problem is that the flights have not yet been released. The MoH is keen to book accommodation now and then get flights once they’re released. However, others are not keen to do this in case we can’t get flights and lose money for accommodation. The MoH is worried that if we don’t book accommodation we’ll struggle to get somewhere for 20 people nearer the time. MoH has pointed out that there are daily cheap flights from our nearest airport to Tenerife daily and flights almost certainly won’t be a problem.

It is really upsetting the hen that there is no resolution. She would like to book it sooner rather than later and book the flights once they’re released, as that is what her husband to be has done for his stag and his friends have been happy to do so.

Which is more sensible?

YANBU - book accommodation now and flights later - there are daily cheap flights which will be releases

YABU - wait and book everything together but risk losing the accommodation

I think you have enough time to wait a year to book something but if she wants a specific place then just book it

I’m not sure I understand what the issue is with booking accommodation now and flights nearer the time? Tenerife isn’t a remote location with few flights. If it makes the bride happy I’d go with that

People are concerned that if we book the accommodation then find that the flights are really expensive or not on for some reason then we’ll lose the money we’ve paid for the accommodation.

Book something cancellable. It should be possible this far out.

Reserve something on booking.com??!!

Book accommodation with easy cancellation or pay on arrival?

This is such a non-issue! Book somewhere with free cancellation. It's bloody obvious.

The accommodation the hen wants doesn’t have a free cancellation option.

Surely you’d only be paying a deposit so far in advance? I think given it’s for 20 people and the bride has her heart set on it, it’d be sensible to get it booked.

And actually I’ve just looked to see if there is anything similar on Booking.com and it doesn’t go up to these dates yet, so that’s not an option.

No I wouldn’t book it, getting flight tickets for 20 people could be a bit of a nightmare

If the hen is set on particular accommodation then she can take the risk on the deposit surely.

The deposit is over half the total cost so not a small amount of money.

We are covering the hen’s costs.

How much is half the total cost?

This is doomed to fail.

There is no way that 20 people will still all want to, and be able to go on a hen do that isn't happening for over 18months.
People's circumstances will change.

So, it depends if 10 or so will underwrite the risk.

There's no way in a million years I'd take on organising this.

It doesn't mean she can't pay for the deposit if she wants specific accommodation & you can reimburse her later (if you can't afford to pay the deposit)

she can't request specific accommodation which is non refundable & exiect everyone to to pay up 20 months in advance fir her hen di.

Frankly IMO they're just getting massively out of hand.

I would have lost patience with this already, made my excuses and left the groupchat!

Then tell her to jog on. She can't insist on particular accomodation that far in advance, with no protection for everyone's money. Particularly when she's not risking anything as she's not paying! As someone else said, this is a recipe for disaster and she sounds like a Bridezilla in the making.

So she's asking you all to take this expense on, increasing the risk you will all lose money and she's not even paying for any of it?! Fuck that right in the eye.

Last year I was in a group chat with a similar number of people who didn't all know each other for a day trip...never again!

Honestly OP, I can see the planning, messages etc in this groupchat taking up more time when added together than the actual time you will spend in Ternerife.

Surely the bride could pay the deposit on interest free credit card to secure the accommodation then people pay her nearer the time.
If its 2k deposit thats £100 per person

It’s too far in advance. People will inevitably drop out. It’s just before Christmas.
And she’s not even paying for herself.

It’s all utter madness.

This in spades.

Do you REALLY see this panning out