Update to AIBU to refuse Aunt's fwb claim on her estate.

[Sleepneededprettyplease]

Posting here because it is where I put the first thread.

A brief summery is that my Aunt died and her FWB is trying to say that he is entitled to part of her estate because she had asked me to allow him to stay in a house she had invested in for me. Anyway if you want the full story feel free to read what I put on the first thread.

Anyway the main thing is that he is now sueing in the courts. I need a bit of a hand hold please. My lawyers have suggested getting a barristers opinion so I am just waiting for that. I wouldn't even mind if it was possible to just go to mediation but he wants the house for the rest of his life and won't consider anything else.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5505433-aibu-to-refuse-aunts-fwb-claim-on-her-estate?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Yes I am sure I can't move someone in. I checked when it was raised yesterday.

If I claim maintenance I would have to justify it to court. I may then be told to provide alternative accommodation. Not sure

I know but I am also trying to be realistic and work out what I can live with.

I would definitely need an agent to check on the condition of the house and make sure that he complies with all conditions.

On an emotional level I need an agent because I do not trust myself to deal with him in a civil manner. I would probably be extremely rude.

Part of negotiations will entail how much work will be necessary. I am not willing to sign a blank check as it were.

In some ways an agreed lump sum may be the best outcome, if it’s not a ridiculous amount. The advantages would be a clean slate for you as it gets him out of your life for good, and also that it’s not really the outcome he wants.

I agree. It is the outcome I want. Just even more than getting the ideal outcome I want an end.

@Sleepneededprettyplease

I don't know the ins and outs, but would equity release be an option?

There are cheaper options to get me through the next few months until this is settled. A personal loan would probably work out more economical. After that the money from the rest of the estate should cover anything necessary.

My understanding is that, once FWB and the executor (ie OP) reach a settlement, that frees up the administrative logjam and the aunt’s main house and other assets can be sold and distributed. I don’t think OP needs equity release or a mortgage on the aunt’s former holiday home for the cash side of things once this is underway.

ETA x post with OP 🙂

Also, I think there are age related rules around equity release, as it’s a product more animed at financing older folks who have a good asset in their home but not much free cash, and OP might well be too young for the product!

What? Are they actually doing good this? This is going to make things even worse!

Sit it out until the the cheeky old fossil dies

It is being discussed. I think a consultation closed not long ago.

Thanks. It is probably the answer.

I have re-read and I can't help thinking that he will refuse any offer that isnt him staying in the house for life, so that might work in your favour. You offer money "no, I want the house", judge suggest different paid for accommodation "no I want the house". No judge will agree to that as reasonable.

Or, yes, waiting for the selfish scrounging shit head to kick the bucket.

It could work that way if I could afford it going before judges loads but I can't. I just have to settle so that probably means accepting him there.

Is there any chance the estate could be responsible for the cost of carers visiting, or care home fees when he needs to move out?

Does he have any next of kin? What will happen to all of his belongings if he dies in the house?

This is making a lot of us feel really mad. I remember not so long ago reading your first post. I really would recommend contacting Rip off Britain programme as they would surely have a legal expert to help you. If you were on the programme you could say I do feel sorry for Mr Pulling a fast one/whatever name he is but I want to comply with my Aunt's wishes and be able to use the property for yourself whereas Mr Pulling a fast one has relatives who would love to look after the cheeky sod for the rest of his days .You should be able to live there or sell it or decorate it in any way you want. I think of us are fuming mad at his cheek. I wish you all the best in getting him out.

I presume housing him "like for like" wouldn't mean being able to buy a similar property in a cheaper area?

He has 5 children and multiple siblings, cousins etc.

There doesn't seem to be any risk on care home fees or carers. Thankfully. At least Auntie kept her money separate to him.

I worry that it would look like comfortable entitled middle class woman trying to chuck out poor elderly man.

I don't see it that way but... he doesn't have any money (he wastes it). I don't however see that him being poor entitles him to my Aunt's money.

TBH it isn't the area that makes it expensive. Any cheaper area is likely to be very cut off.

He would want an old property. He is an architectural snob. He doesn't approve of my home at all because it is, relatively, modern and he considers anything built after 1950 to be massively inferior.

No advice but I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Housing a CF in a house that is technically yours seems insane.

Bloody hell!

I was thinking equivalent bedrooms/garden for example.

He really is taking the piss isn't he?

Same architectural style?

Fuck me!

It really is an absolute mockery.

I mean courts will think in the same way as you but as I have said I can't really afford to keep it in court. A full hearing will easily burn 100k in legal costs.

Yes he is the biggest CF I have ever come across and his sense of entitlement is enormous.

Thank you. To you and everyone here.

This thread has been invaluable to me to reassure me that I am being reasonable. His entitlement is staggering and occasionally I wonder if it is me being unfair. My Aunt's will is clear and she was clear with me who she wanted her money to go to. That is what I need to hold on to and what all of you remind me of.

The law in this case is a donkey.

Edited to make it a bit politer so that I don't offend anyone.