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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH deleting messages

54 replies

soupbucket · 21/03/2026 22:15

I don’t know if AIBU here or not, me and DH been out the pub for tea and a few drinks and then come back home, had a nice evening so far and his friend had been messaging while we were out asking if we fancied a visitor for a drink, got home and seen my DH messaging friend and noticed he had deleted all the messages, he was then messaging his ex wife and noticed the same also so couldn’t help asking why he had deleted all the messages. His response was because I’m a snoop so he has to.

Now just for clarity, I have never been through his phone, I have always trusted him 100% no reason not to. I might read his messages if they are in my eyeline when he is on his phone but this has never been an issue. Yeste

This comment is an issue for me, it makes me think he has something to hide, I don’t snoop at all but even if I did what is he hiding? He is welcome to go through my phone all he wants, I literally have nothing to hide.

AIBU to be offended by this or am I being crank?

OP posts:
JLou08 · 22/03/2026 17:05

You clearly do snoop if you noticed he deleted messages to 2 different people on the same day. I'd be fuming if my DH started questioning me about messages with friends.

babyproblems · 22/03/2026 17:08

He has something to hide.. my spider senses are ringing… he’s afraid of you seeing something and trying to detract by making the issue about you being a snoop…

Yardbrushes · 22/03/2026 17:18

Very dodgy.

Lugol · 23/03/2026 07:24

JustGiveMeReason · 22/03/2026 16:36

Nobody delete random messages within a conversation unless they are colleagues in an info sensitive conversation say for data protection reasons or they are two people up to no good.

Except, @Lugol , if you had read the thread, you would have seen that there have been several posters on here who say they do. You might not, but that doesn't mean "nobody" does.

OP's DH doesn't usually does he?

And if you're deleting random messages within a thread and they aren't work messages then no that's not fucking normal is it?

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