To just not understand why men are so lazy

[Eastie77Returns]

I know, I know NAMALT but I don’t see the kind of behaviour I witnessed today from women.

I was in the gym restaurant with DS. Two men sitting next to us drinking tea. One of them dropped his cup and the tea went everywhere, all over the table and dripping on the floor. Both men laughed hysterically and the one who dropped the cup made a half hearted attempt to mop up some of it with a couple of tissues and then gave up and just carried on chatting. Meanwhile the tea is continuing to drip everywhere and there is a huge puddle under the table that he is placing his feet in leaving smears and mess everywhere. Eventually he takes a gym towel, puts it on the floor over the tea and puts his feet on top. When they had finished chatting both men got up and left, the sodden towel on the floor and the table in a disgusting sticky mess. Felt so bad for the cafe staff and I helped clear up (while conscious I am not sending a good message to DS re. women clearing up after men). I just find it infuriating!

What has it got to do with being a man? I don’t know any men, or people, like this. 🤷‍♀️

That is disgusting behaviour.

I will say though I think people behaving in an absolutely appalling way when they know someone else is going to clean up after them isn't confined to just men. You only have to go in some public toilets and see the filthy state women leave them in.

And when I briefly worked as an office cleaner and the staff were in the habit of eating at their desks it was both men and women who left them in messy and dirty states.

My husband always takes our cups back to the counter when we’re finished in places like Starbucks or a pub. He’s far more mindful of how we leave a hotel room than I am. You’re being ridiculous to blame men generally.

I blame the mothers in most cases. Many women favour the sons, and think the sun shines out of their arse. They never have to lift a finger in the house, whilst the daughters are treated like skivvies. So the sons grow up entitled and lazy and thinking all women should wait on them hand and foot.

And yes, most men ARE lazy and entitled.

Awaits the 'Not My Nigels,' and the tedious and predictable 'you need to get better men in your life' comments.

Of course it's a woman's fault somewhere down the line 🤨

This is weird. I work with labourers and they are the most hard working, gentlemanly and helpful men - depends where destiny sent you

Yes, most of the men I know are like this to some degree. My own DP, makes a cup of tea, slops it everywhere, all down the units and on the floor. Makes a sandwich, it's an explosion in a crumb factory. If I point out the mess DP will go and clean it but many men just don't see mess IMO and yes, they are lazy.

Women ARE as bad, you should see our women’s loos and changing rooms in work! People spill things and leave them, leave rubbish on the ground (there’s a bin), the toilets have per on the seats and aren’t flushed, toilet paper on the ground, food wrappers on floor … it goes on and in. Worst thing is people have heard a few times ‘but the cleaner will be in’

I saw a woman let her kids leave a restaurant table absolutely destroyed with food and drink spread everywhere - across the table, on the seats and on the floor.

AIBU to just not understand why women are so lazy?

I don’t know any men who would do this. They would clean up.

In my experience this kind of thing is the exception rather than the rule with women

The women’s toilets in my gym and the ones at work are almost always clean.

I’ve heard several men say the loos at their place of work are disgusting, friends with sons say they won’t use the toilets at school. I don’t hear this as much from women.

In my experience your story about the behaviour of men is also the exception rather than the rule.

It was a couple of ignorant slobs. That's who it was. They were representative of themselves.

My mans not lazy. You are stereotyping. Stop.

They sound like entitled wankers...to be fair I've seen plenty of women leave table in cafes in a total state.

It’s really not that uncommon for men to behave like this. See the multiple threads on here from women whose husbands have come home drunk and shat the bed, peed on the floor, leave crap and mess laying around for wives to pick up. Women just don’t usually do that. We are socialised to behave differently.

The “my DH doesn’t do that so most other men don’t either” is quite tiresome. There’s a thread at the moment about yet another male nursery worker who has been caught sexually abusing babies and the handmaidens are out in force “but women are sexual abusers too”. In perhaps 1% of cases! But still…NAMALT.

100% agree @Eastie77Returns 👏

So threads from women on Mumsnet saying that men are shit should be seen as accurately representing reality, and threads on Mumsnet from women saying that not all men are shit should be dismissed as coming from "handmaidens"?

@GasperyJacquesRoberts

Pretty much nailed it there yes. ^

My issue is with threads and women that distort reality by pretending men are not mostly responsible for certain types of behaviour.

Not all men are rapists but virtually all rapists are men. That is not the same as saying all men are shit. It’s about recognising the threat men pose without dismissing it “because my Nigel wouldn’t do that”

The childcare thread is ridiculous with people disputing actual data that shows the vast majority of sexual abusers in nurseries are men and police reports highlighting groups on the dark net that coach sexual offenders on how to get jobs with small children and avoid detection after abusing them. The handmaidens are conflating that with studies showing women suffering from poor mental health are more likely to harm a baby.

The fact they cannot distinguish between a paedophile and a mentally unwell new mum is very disturbing.

My boyfriend is the opposite of lazy.

only men really? The amount of times I’ve seen women with little kids who left a disgusting mess at a restaurant or coffee shop and walked off.

You only need visit a soft play area at 5pm to see quite clearly that some men and women possess no manners or common courtesy at all.

And who is it throwing beer bottles & cans out of their vehicle windows into hedgerows & grass verges, polluting the environment & making us all live in a rubbish dump?