To not feel sorry for this man

[Tillow4ever]

So I’ve just read a BBC news article about a man who came across (pardon the pun) a video of himself and his girlfriend having sex in a hotel that they knew nothing about and hadn’t consented to. Initially I felt awful for them both.

However, as I read the article, the man says he’d deliberately been choosing to watch secretly filmed porn since he was a teenager as he found the footage “raw” and then went on to say “What drew me in is the fact that the people don’t know they are being filmed”

Am I being unreasonable for no longer feeling bad for him? I feel awful for his poor girlfriend, but to me this feels like true karma for him! If people like him weren’t prepared to pay for things like this, the industry wouldn’t exist.

YABU: Regardless of whether he was a consumer of this type of porn, he was still a victim and people should feel sorry for him.

YANBU: Anyone that is paying to watch that type of illegally recorded porn deserves to find themselves on the receiving end.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62rexy9y3no

Since when? I’ve googled now to get the exact meaning in case you were right, but I suspect you’ve misunderstood what it says:

”the sum of a persons actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences”

So being a criminal in this existence, your karma will be that you’ll be a victim in your next existence.

Who knows the depths of depravity some of these creeps will go to. I'm not saying this is the case but it honestly wouldn't surprise me at all if someone who started out obsessed with voyeurism progressed to wanting to see himself and his partner spied on and then got an extra kick out of telling that story with themselves as the victim. So many men have such weird perversions and fetishes, that they seem happy to go to extreme lengths to fulfil, that it really wouldn't surprise me at all.

100% agree, no more to add.

Actually that I can see/believe! I thought the person making the suggestion originally meant faked as in it hadn’t happened.

God isn’t it terrible that our first thoughts about men is always that they’re likely to have done something awful? I really, really want to live in a world where I’m shocked to read a story about a man doing something terrible rather than sighing at “not another one”.

I’ve just looked on the feminism board and can’t see your post, so I’m really sorry I created a post as well as you having started one - I had looked over the active posts first and didn’t see anything I promise! I would definitely have commented on yours if I could see it.

@Tillow4ever Not at all, it's great to have the discussion here too. Agree completely, it would be nice to not think so badly of men in general but then they keep on reminding us of just how incredibly grim they can be.

People get their kicks from all sorts.

Exposing himself and his GF as well as her reaction is all part of it.

I know, I started reading the article appalled for him and then the plot twist was that he’s just as much of a pervert.

I feel bad for his partner.

It's here, @Tillow4ever

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5486659-bbc-investigation-on-hotel-spycams-in-china

Thank you! I was looking on the feminism board - I didn’t know the Womwn’s Rights board existed so that’s a new one for me to follow.

You’re an angel, thank you again.

Won’t let me edit to add this - says something went wrong every time I try:

ETA - link takes me to the board I was already on so god knows why I couldn’t find it! Still appreciate it as I want to see the other comments.

Oh fuck him.

I can’t help but think that a lot of men find the lack of consent exciting, like that makes up the bulk of the experience.

I had a very close gay male friend who confided that he enjoyed a kind of porn which involved a film crew stopping young men on the street, in shopping malls etc and offering them money to have sex, and filming it. It was the grey area of paying a straight kid (20ish) to sort of submit that was exciting to him. When he came to have children in his family he then got very upset at the accessibility of online porn to young people 🙄 Zero self awareness.