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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to keep the peace anymore?

90 replies

MarriedWithCauldron · 20/01/2026 12:40

I’ve been a member of our local WI on and off for years now. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine - I’m not going to kowtow to people. A few years back they voted me out, although I refuse to believe this was a genuine vote; there was definitely something going on behind the scenes.

Anyway, last year I got voted back in. Some people weren’t happy, but one of the older members who had been instrumental in getting me out was, frankly, starting to lose the plot, so a lot of others felt my uncompromising personality was what was needed to take things forward. One of my first tasks on rejoining was to try to get control of the kitty from another member, who I’ll call Dotty. Dotty is convinced it’s up to her to decide what happens to the kitty, but disagree - I’m in a far better position to control it.

Anyway, last week was the flower arranging contest. My arrangement was clearly the best by miles, but Nora, the head judge, is one of the people who has a problem with me, so refused to give me first prize. I was fuming. I deserved that prize and no one else! I decided there and then I didn’t owe any of them any favours and was just going to do what I thought best from now on.

The situation with Dotty and the kitty is getting silly now and people are just refusing to listen to reason. I’ve said I want her out and will do what I have to to make sure it happens. Quite a few of the others are huffing and puffing and saying I’m just causing arguments, but frankly I don’t care anymore. I’m done playing peacemaker.

What I can’t believe is the nerve of Nora and her neighbour, Freda, who have messaged me saying I need to stop this and to make sure we don’t all fall out. After what Nora did to me over the flower arranging prize! I messaged back saying “Since you decided not to give me the prize, even though I REALLY deserved it, I don’t feel like I have to worry about keeping the peace anymore.” I know it will cause ructions, but who cares? I’m right and they’re wrong!

AIBU?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/01/2026 12:41

There is no way this is real

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 20/01/2026 12:42

Despite what other people will say this is definitely real. I'm Nora and OP is unreasonable and we need to vote her out again.

tryingtobesogood · 20/01/2026 12:42

Is this the opening to a midsommer murder episode? Will Dotty be found dead in the vicarage clutching the kitty, flowers artfully arranged around her?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/01/2026 12:43

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 20/01/2026 12:42

Despite what other people will say this is definitely real. I'm Nora and OP is unreasonable and we need to vote her out again.

Were the flowers even good?

Indianajet · 20/01/2026 12:43

One reason not to get involved in W.I. politics!

ByTwinklyFish · 20/01/2026 12:43

Is your name Donald?

DameOfThrones · 20/01/2026 12:44

Wrap up warm and go for a walk OP.

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/01/2026 12:47

This is like a very good pastiche of an episode of Keeping Up Appearances. If so, I applaud your satirical skills.

In the very unlikely event that this is real, you need a long holiday, some other hobbies and some new friends.

Wapentake · 20/01/2026 12:49

Forget the WI, go to Davos and and defend Greenland, with your peacekeeping skills?

EvangelineTheNightStar · 20/01/2026 12:49

Is this the WI version of Motherland? Or have we catapulted into the future and Op is Amanda?….

MotorbikeStuntRider · 20/01/2026 12:49

Appropriate ad on this thread…

To refuse to keep the peace anymore?
Dollymylove · 20/01/2026 12:49

Im Dotty and that kitty is mine, I say, its MINE!!

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/01/2026 12:50

EvangelineTheNightStar · 20/01/2026 12:49

Is this the WI version of Motherland? Or have we catapulted into the future and Op is Amanda?….

Motherland, the post-menopause edit.

ElsieJay · 20/01/2026 12:52

MarriedWithCauldron · 20/01/2026 12:40

I’ve been a member of our local WI on and off for years now. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine - I’m not going to kowtow to people. A few years back they voted me out, although I refuse to believe this was a genuine vote; there was definitely something going on behind the scenes.

Anyway, last year I got voted back in. Some people weren’t happy, but one of the older members who had been instrumental in getting me out was, frankly, starting to lose the plot, so a lot of others felt my uncompromising personality was what was needed to take things forward. One of my first tasks on rejoining was to try to get control of the kitty from another member, who I’ll call Dotty. Dotty is convinced it’s up to her to decide what happens to the kitty, but disagree - I’m in a far better position to control it.

Anyway, last week was the flower arranging contest. My arrangement was clearly the best by miles, but Nora, the head judge, is one of the people who has a problem with me, so refused to give me first prize. I was fuming. I deserved that prize and no one else! I decided there and then I didn’t owe any of them any favours and was just going to do what I thought best from now on.

The situation with Dotty and the kitty is getting silly now and people are just refusing to listen to reason. I’ve said I want her out and will do what I have to to make sure it happens. Quite a few of the others are huffing and puffing and saying I’m just causing arguments, but frankly I don’t care anymore. I’m done playing peacemaker.

What I can’t believe is the nerve of Nora and her neighbour, Freda, who have messaged me saying I need to stop this and to make sure we don’t all fall out. After what Nora did to me over the flower arranging prize! I messaged back saying “Since you decided not to give me the prize, even though I REALLY deserved it, I don’t feel like I have to worry about keeping the peace anymore.” I know it will cause ructions, but who cares? I’m right and they’re wrong!

AIBU?

Love it !!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏

Mumofteenandtween · 20/01/2026 12:56

Took me until the last paragraph to “get it”!😂

VivienneDelacroix · 20/01/2026 13:03

You took the kitty, but did you grab the pussy too?

TheatreTheatre · 20/01/2026 13:04

Start charging those who won't kowtow for the tea and biscuits at meetings.

And put up their subs.

Sanasaaa · 20/01/2026 13:07

Hobbies are meant to be fun.
A rage room might be better.

Hellohelga · 20/01/2026 13:10

Brilliant OP - LOVE IT

Rictasmorticia · 20/01/2026 13:11

We can’t possibly decide on this unless we have photos and diagrams, Did your flowers even get judged or did someone move them out of sight before judging.

What flowers did you use, was the container the right type and size. Have you underestimated the tight control prevailing on competition entries.

You sound like a thoughtful even handed person and I think you should stop worry about the kitty and apply for Chancellor of the Exchequer.

ihavebecomecomfortablynumb · 20/01/2026 13:14

A perfect analogy! 😂

itsgettingweird · 20/01/2026 13:16

Mumofteenandtween · 20/01/2026 12:56

Took me until the last paragraph to “get it”!😂

Yes I was very surprised how many people didn’t get the 🍊 ones text quoted in there.

Well done OP. A brilliant piece of writing to being relief in an otherwise worrying time. 👏🏻👏🏻

TheignT · 20/01/2026 13:17

ByTwinklyFish · 20/01/2026 12:43

Is your name Donald?

I'm sure it is.

Catwalking · 20/01/2026 13:18

what, no flower arrangement pics? 🤔🤔🤔

stackhead · 20/01/2026 13:19

The insight into how small some people's lives are is fascinating.

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