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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not comfortable with MIL’s friend using our children’s pictures for gifts m

57 replies

Pumpkin8765 · 05/12/2025 17:48

My MIL’s friend who I have never met before has messaged DH asking for pics of our two young children. She wants to get calendars and a canvas made up with their pictures for MIL for Christmas. I’ve flat out said no as I’m not comfortable sending pics to someone I’ve never met and I don’t know what company she is using to get them made up etc. It feels like this gift should be something left to parents or grandparents. DH doesn’t agree he thinks I’m over reacting.

She had the same request last year but I said no. We were getting calendars made up ourselves.

AIBU about not feeling comfortable with her doing this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumpkin8765 · 06/12/2025 13:05

BeaRightThere · 06/12/2025 09:15

I think you're being a bit precious about this. Your husband knows the woman and is fine with it, why don't you trust his judgement? And thinking it's weird that someone else is looking at private family moments - come on, it's probably pictures of your kids in a park or their birthday or something, hardly a big secret.

I wouldn't get worked up about this. My only reservation would whether this is something the recipient would want. Is it even a gift MIL would enjoy?

Surely DH should trust MY judgement that this gift is better to come from us?

OP posts:
CheeseIsMyIdol · 06/12/2025 14:25

Precious and paranoid.

PeoplesNet · 24/06/2026 00:04

Pumpkin8765 · 05/12/2025 17:56

Yes he has met her, so that’s why he doesn’t see an issue with it. I’ve never met her and she has never met our children and didn’t take the pics so it feels quite weird from my end.

The calendar would all be made up of pics of our kids.

Show quote history

It is definitely weird and you did right by saying no. Congrats on being the sensible parent standing up for their kids!

IndigoBluey · 24/06/2026 00:28

ExtraOnions · 05/12/2025 17:56

What company do you think she is using ? Pornhub ?

Honestly .. what do you think she’ll be doing with them? It seems like a fairly innocuous request, from someone who wants to do something nice for a friend.

Your DH probably knows her better, and has no concerns.. but you aren’t listening to him (they are his children too)

Ironically adult sites are much more regulated. Have a read of some recent cases of consumer photography misuse, FTC, Shutterfly, Prisma. It is incredibly naive to think that any data that is processed is not vulnerable. It’s also a really weird request from the friend, if she was a close friend to the mil she would have her own photos of the children. Honestly OP, I would just ignore the request or suggest another gift recommendation if you feel the need to respond.

BuceesMints · 24/06/2026 00:32

Pumpkin8765 · 05/12/2025 17:54

It’s more that to get these calendars made up I am assuming she would have to send our kids pics to some random company. It makes me nervous knowing my children’s pictures are being sent somewhere that I don’t know is safe and secure.

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What exactly do you think is likely to happen of a company sees photos of your children?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 24/06/2026 00:42

Thelondonone · 05/12/2025 17:50

I think yabu unreasonable about the company used but I do think it’s a present that should be from you.

The company may offer a reduced price if uploaded photos can be used in their own advertising - I wouldn't want that.

IndigoBluey · 24/06/2026 01:15

BuceesMints · 24/06/2026 00:32

What exactly do you think is likely to happen of a company sees photos of your children?

Show quote history

I think the OP has valid concerns. Have you heard of AI?

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