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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I look like a bimbo but intelligent??

38 replies

pinkglitter12 · 16/05/2025 20:51

I'm looking for reassurance and opinion please. My other half of 7 years and one child has just turned around and said that he is happy I look like a bimbo but I'm intelligent.
This has made me boil for so many reasons
I don't look like a "bimbo", I'm actually really insecure about my appearance tbh since having our baby and have started wearing "mum clothes".
Why is looking like a bimbo a compliment?
What is with the word bimbo and why is he assuming they are not intelligent?
When I questioned him about it he started saying he loves me the way i am but not answering those questions so wtf..am I being gaslit or am I being hormonal and over sensitive?

OP posts:
TondeLayaDelaVentimiglia · 16/05/2025 21:11

Bimbo means an attractive but unintelligent (young) woman, so in saying you look like a bimbo but intelligent he is contradicting himself.
It’s a horrible thing to say regardless.
Is it likely he doesn’t actually understand what it means?

Stickortwigs · 16/05/2025 21:13

I think he’s trying to say you’re hot and smart in a bit of a crap and clumsy way.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 16/05/2025 21:13

Ouch. Sounds as though he very poorly expressed what he meant, especially if he doesn't have form for putting his foot in it.

AloeVera889 · 16/05/2025 21:13

It sounds like he was trying to give you a compliment saying you look attractive and you're also intelligent (albeit a bit awkward and not very well thought through). Unless there are other issues, I think you're overreacting.

Doggymummar · 16/05/2025 21:15

I would assume you look like a Barbie with brains if he described you like that to me. I wouldn't mind personally but if nearly 60 and fat!

ColinOfficeTrolley · 16/05/2025 21:18

Bimbo is such a horrible sexist word. I'd be pissed off too.

It's also insulting that according to him, a woman can not be considered conventionally attractive AND clever.

He might have meant it as a compliment, but it's so cringey. It sounds like you're far too intelligent for him.

MaggieBsBoat · 16/05/2025 21:26

A bimbo looks good but has not much going on in the head department. It’s very insulting.

Original poster
pinkglitter12 · 16/05/2025 21:26

Thank you for all your kind comments . He is normally a really nice guy and it threw me as we are currently away and surrounded by a lot of very tanned, made up women dressed for the sun, happy, I feel completely frumpy, trying to hide everything, i know I'm insecure but I just take that as he wants something else

OP posts:
Coffeebadlyneeded · 16/05/2025 21:35

I think he was trying to compliment you actually, but made a mess of it with his choice of words!
I don’t know why you’d take it that he wants something else…it doesn’t sound like that to me at all 🤔

heidyho · 16/05/2025 22:27

I think he is (badly) trying to say how lucky he is to have an attractive and intelligent lady in his life 😍

TumbledTussocks · 17/05/2025 08:47

It’s a very badly worded compliment.
He’s telling you he thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous and clever.
He’s also probably never considered how problematic bimbo is.

justmeandmyselfandi · 17/05/2025 08:56

I feel a bimbo, is blonde or black hair, huge boobs, loads of make up and fake lips. Unless you look like this I'd not give it another thought! Also, he probably heard that word somewhere and thinks he knows what it means

Dreichweather · 17/05/2025 08:57

Stickortwigs · 16/05/2025 21:13

I think he’s trying to say you’re hot and smart in a bit of a crap and clumsy way.

I agree. I think the meaning behind it was good but the delivery was crap.

ChompinCrocodiles · 17/05/2025 09:21

I'm actually really insecure about my appearance tbh since having our baby and have started wearing "mum clothes"

Mum clothes? 🤔

HardbackPaperback · 17/05/2025 09:22

ColinOfficeTrolley · 16/05/2025 21:18

Bimbo is such a horrible sexist word. I'd be pissed off too.

It's also insulting that according to him, a woman can not be considered conventionally attractive AND clever.

He might have meant it as a compliment, but it's so cringey. It sounds like you're far too intelligent for him.

This. As a casual comment, it certainly highlights some fairly caveman assumptions.

TwinklyLemonDreamer · 17/05/2025 20:16

Perhaps a photo might help?

BendingSpoons · 17/05/2025 20:25

To me 'bimbo but intelligent' makes me think of Legally Blond. I agree with PPs that it was a clumsy comment but it doesn't sound unkind. Might have been better to phrase it differently!

ohyesido · 17/05/2025 20:30

Your partner used the word bimbo?

is he a reject from some 80s low budget police comedy?

ChristineKo · 17/05/2025 23:45

Call him a Himbo but intelligent and see how he likes that

MelanieHardy · 18/05/2025 09:54

Well, you’ve got it all by the sounds of it! Looks and intelligence. 😄😊

Use that intelligence to explain to your other half (whilst looking gorgeous 😉) what a bimbo actually is. 😉

Sounds like he’s punching above his weight a bit! xx

Koalafan · 18/05/2025 09:56

Bimbo is a horrible word.
Sounds like you're attractive and intelligent. Lucky you. I was both once too, I'm a bit older these days so more attractive in an aged wine sort of way.

Koalafan · 18/05/2025 09:57

ChompinCrocodiles · 17/05/2025 09:21

I'm actually really insecure about my appearance tbh since having our baby and have started wearing "mum clothes"

Mum clothes? 🤔

Yes, what ARE mum clothes?

Koalafan · 18/05/2025 09:58

TwinklyLemonDreamer · 17/05/2025 20:16

Perhaps a photo might help?

Why? So we can decide if OP is a 'bimbo"? No thanks.

Caerulea · 18/05/2025 09:58

Oh this was def clumsy manspeak - my DH recently said he loves my 'cankles' & couldn't understand why me & the kids were hosing ourselves. He'd genuinely no idea what it meant & just thought it a compliment.

Me & the boys like to randomly drop my lovely cankles in to conversation wind him up now

Chloe793 · 18/05/2025 10:06

Why couldn't he just say you look gorgeous and you're intelligent? He really has some work to do if that's his idea of a compliment.