Insulted about my looks

[Rubytuesday77]

I’m annoyed I never gave a suitable response to this man, I was sat alone on a bench in my local town centre. This man comes along and asks if I mind him sitting alongside me explaining how he needed to rest his legs etc.

i said fine hoping he’d just leave me in peace, I wasn’t in the mood for idle chat. He then proceeds to go on about smokers outside pubs and how he couldn’t understand how anyone could smoke. He then says “do you smoke” I told him no but I used to. Now comes the insult……

”Yes I can tell, I can tell by your face you were a smoker”
Now I’m paranoid and feeling insecure about my looks…..all from a bloody stranger. 😡 Why would anyone say that. I’d never say that to someone. Maybe he started on the topic of smoking just so he could say that. But it’s unsettled me so if that’s what he wanted he’s achieved it. Sorry it’s not really an aibu but just wanted to vent.

Sounds like a pick up artist practising his negging skills? Or just a twat.

I’d be more annoyed at a random man making the typical male assumption that we are just sitting around waiting to hear their amazing opinions. What a cunt.

Argh. Of course you’d be annoyed by some random prick throwing insults. He’s a wanker, seems he can’t give that up. Well done for stopping smoking. It’s one of the hardest things to do.

I don’t really get this, a man insults a woman he must be trying ro pick her up, that’s so far from reality, he was more than likely just some wanker with an issue in smoking.

No, it's the opposite he used your (alleged) looks to strengthen his point about smoking. Which is obviously a big issue for him if he starts conversation with strangers about it apropos of nothing. If he really thought you were lined from smoking he wouldn't have asked you first, he'd have said 'I can tell you were a smoker'. I guarantee whatever you looked like he'd have said this, because you were just a tool and audience for his anti smoking agenda.

"It's so funny you should say that, I was just thinking I could tell by your face you're a bit of a cunt".

Didn’t say must be, but could be. Not at all far from reality, they literally charge each other for training on how to insult women to pick them up. I’ve had it done to me, it’s sometimes obvious from the very odd socially awkward and over energetic vibes, or the follow up attempts at flirting, or the presence of a stupid hat. But yes, also could just be a twat.

He was pissy about other people’s choices so he thought he would neg you and make you feel like crap. Typical bitter person. I would of had to bite back with something really nasty.

Practice your grey rock skills for this type of man. A bored sounding "mmm-hmm" and refusal to give eye contact will mean he'll get bored and fuck off to pester someone else.

How rude! I bet he’s probably the type that says insulting things to people all the time. I’d also wager it’s not true, he just likes to be mean. Don’t give him any more headspace.

I'd have said sarcastically "Well how very interesting, I must tell my DH/boyfriend/girlfriend/wife. Thanks soooo much for your pearl of wisdom"

A few months ago a random man told me I had the 'maddest hair' he'd ever seen and why didnt i straighten it. (It's waist length and curly) I ignored and kept walking to have him run after me to tell me HE loved it though, and did I want a drink. So yeah it's a thing. I think the idea is you'll be so grateful for the one guy who is prepared to overlook your terrible hair/fat ass/wrinkles you'll accept him.

After he’d insulted me he asked me how old did I think he was (a non smoker) saying “I bet you think I’m about 59” Before I could answer he said “I’m 70, I’ve kept my youthful look by not smoking” Shortly after he walked off.
I keep thinking of things I should have said. 😟

I'd love to have the courage to say that to someone

Just a prat, don't give him airtime

I would have said i gave up smoking i now do drugs i couldent afford both have a good day and walk off.

I’d have asked him ‘do you wank? Because you act like a wanker ‘ and walked off

At times like these a simple “fuck you” will do.

🤣

Fuck sake, who are these fucking men who actually think we want to hear the drivel that spews out of their mouths? Just fuck off! Which is the only response he should have gotten from you.
Don't give the arsehole another thought.

Agreed. If OP had said she'd never smoked he'd have said something like "yes, I can tell from your face. You can tell if someone doesn't smoke because they don't have that awful smoker's face" or something.

Yup. Course he would. All he was doing was banging a drum about smoking and would have used OPs response to support it either way.

Very fitting 👏
😡

I'm sorry OP, what a prick. These guys never seem to give these unwanted comments to other men - most likely because they know there's a good chance they'll get a punch around the head for their trouble.

But a woman out alone is fair game for whatever.

What an entitled and misogynistic prick. He wouldn't have randomly done that to a man.

Pay it no mind OP, he probably has a long suffering wife at home. Poor woman.