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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I Being Cruel?

48 replies

Boxofstars · 07/10/2024 01:13

I have a cousin who has rarely worked.

He is 64 next month. He has not been employed since the summer of 1995.

His mum died 2 years ago and he was still living at home. He has a brother and sister both have always worked and still do in their late 50's they both have grown children and home owners.
When his mum died the house was sold ( ex council house big 4 bedrooms 2 sitting rooms big garden) so they shared the money they got for the house between them £90000 each.

He now lives in a council flat pays no rent or council tax etc because he is still unemployed.

He is physically fit no illnesses and has a driving licence but never owned a car.

He goes to a local pub every day and smokes 30 a day.

He has asked me to pay for a holiday in Australia for a month said he wants to see a old school friend and give him money for his cigs ( his brother and sister have refused).

When his mum was alive he got taken off job seekers a lot because he refused jobs he lived off his mum.

Am I being cruel refusing him?

OP posts:
yeesh · 07/10/2024 01:16

Why on earth would you pay for him to go on holiday?

Aligirlbear · 07/10/2024 01:16

Not sure why you need to ask the question 🙂.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 07/10/2024 01:18

Why would he be entitled to benefits with 90k in the bank?

CraftyPlumViewer · 07/10/2024 01:20

If you don't pay for someone's holiday, that is indeed very cruel.

I fancy the Bahamas, please. Will PM you.

Boxofstars · 07/10/2024 01:21

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 07/10/2024 01:18

Why would he be entitled to benefits with 90k in the bank?

He obviously hasnt declared them.

This is a man who doesnt live in the real world.
Says he hasnt seen enough of the world etc.

OP posts:
Freeyourminds · 07/10/2024 01:28

It doesn’t make sense.Why would he be asking you to pay for his holiday to Australia? When he’s just inherited money.
Why would that make you cruel to say no
Is this post even real??

Boxofstars · 07/10/2024 01:30

Freeyourminds · 07/10/2024 01:28

It doesn’t make sense.Why would he be asking you to pay for his holiday to Australia? When he’s just inherited money.
Why would that make you cruel to say no
Is this post even real??

Because he wants to keep his money. He thinks others should give him a taste of some luxury. He said because i work i should help him.

OP posts:
RamblinRosie · 07/10/2024 01:35

Ludicrous! Apart from anything else, does he realise how much cigarettes cost in Australia, around $40.00.

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 07/10/2024 01:36

😂😂😂😂

Does he have some learning difficulties?

I'm presuming your post was more 'can you believe what he asked' more that you really even giving this a second thought!

hes already getting benefits he's not entitled to!!

StellaLaBella · 07/10/2024 01:37

Cruel? 🤣 Yes cuz, I get up every day and go to work so you can see more of the world. I almost admire the bare faced cheek of him

Boxofstars · 07/10/2024 01:39

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 07/10/2024 01:36

😂😂😂😂

Does he have some learning difficulties?

I'm presuming your post was more 'can you believe what he asked' more that you really even giving this a second thought!

hes already getting benefits he's not entitled to!!

No he doesnt have any learning or physical limitations.

I asked why he rarely worked his answer he doesnt see why he should.
He refused learning courses from the job centre.
He was always a victim.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 07/10/2024 01:39

What a load of old bollocks.

LadyMinerva · 07/10/2024 01:43

Of course it's cruel not to pay for his holiday. What kind of person are you? The man just wants a break from the grueling day to day life he has. Get up, do what you want, sleep, repeat. Honestly, you sound like you have a heart of stone. What else do you go to your job for? SMH

Freeyourminds · 07/10/2024 01:43

Still doesn’t add up.You don’t need to ask the question, because obviously that wouldn’t make you cruel.
It appears to be just another made up thread to have a go at people who for whatever reason don’t work.

Freeyourminds · 07/10/2024 01:44

HeddaGarbled · 07/10/2024 01:39

What a load of old bollocks.

Completely!

Deebee90 · 07/10/2024 01:46

Report him then if this post Is genuine and they’ll take him off benefits

Fraaahnces · 07/10/2024 02:28

This is the worst kind of parasite I can imagine. (My brother is similar and I have been NC since 2017 as I have a family to raise) You need to look at the cost of cigs in Australia. Ours are the most expensive in the world as they have the highest taxes on them. The average price of a pack of 25 cigs here is between $30 and $50. (Roughly £15-25). There are extremely high import taxes and higher fines for undeclared cigs if he tries to sneak them in. Tbf, he doesn’t sound fun.

OfficerChurlish · 07/10/2024 02:50

Yes, you are being completely unreasonable even thinking of refusing him. I've already been to Australia, but I quite fancy Latin America. Could you please wire me £5000, seeing as you say you're working? Ta.

Topseyt123 · 07/10/2024 02:50

Tell him to get to fuck.

Gingernaut · 07/10/2024 03:13

You're not being cruel

Cut him off

notatinydancer · 07/10/2024 03:16

I'd dob him in to DWP

Bazinga007 · 07/10/2024 04:16

His life is one big holiday.

bergamotorange · 07/10/2024 04:20

Boxofstars · 07/10/2024 01:21

He obviously hasnt declared them.

This is a man who doesnt live in the real world.
Says he hasnt seen enough of the world etc.

It's not this simple.

How could he possibly get allocated a house so quickly? How could he hide the inheritance?

As if people just get houses at the drop of a hat.

BlackToes · 07/10/2024 04:32

Tell him to use his inheritance

bergamotorange · 07/10/2024 04:39

This thread really sounds unlikely.

He lived in a house. He inherited the house. The council then just allocated him a flat without asking any questions about his previous living arrangements?

Where did he live in between his mother's home and the council flat?

So many benefits threads on here don't ring true. This is one of those.

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