Am I Being Cruel?

[Boxofstars]

I have a cousin who has rarely worked.

He is 64 next month. He has not been employed since the summer of 1995.

His mum died 2 years ago and he was still living at home. He has a brother and sister both have always worked and still do in their late 50's they both have grown children and home owners.
When his mum died the house was sold ( ex council house big 4 bedrooms 2 sitting rooms big garden) so they shared the money they got for the house between them £90000 each.

He now lives in a council flat pays no rent or council tax etc because he is still unemployed.

He is physically fit no illnesses and has a driving licence but never owned a car.

He goes to a local pub every day and smokes 30 a day.

He has asked me to pay for a holiday in Australia for a month said he wants to see a old school friend and give him money for his cigs ( his brother and sister have refused).

When his mum was alive he got taken off job seekers a lot because he refused jobs he lived off his mum.

Am I being cruel refusing him?

@Boxofstars why do you feel you even have to entertain his request for a handout and write about it here to ask if you're being cruel?
His own siblings have told him to F off.
Why do you feel you owe him anything at all?

Did you start this thread because you were genuinely confused about whether or not to give your cousin money or because you feel contemptuous towards him and wanted to give people the chance to criticize him too?

A third option is to start a thread to make people outraged at 'benefit scroungers' who get free houses at the drop of a hat.

You should pay for him and everyone in the street of course you should what about the whole town? No one should miss out

Really you need to ask?

There's something not being said in the OP. He probably has some kind of mental disability, but no diagnosis due to age, and OP is trying to convince herself she's not being s cow by disliking him, so setting up a scenario where theres no wiggle room to say she is.

No OP very obviously dont have to pay for other people to go on holibobs

HTH

Utter bullshit

Yep

I can’t believe this. If it was true and you despise your cousin as much as appears, you would report him and he would lose his benefits.

I’d be telling him he can use some of the 90k he’s got stashed away so he can continue to claim benefits. He thinks you should help as you’re working? Tell him you pay enough tax to help him life a life of no working. Some people have some cheek. Not a chance in hell i’d even consider it, i’d have laughed in his face

Assuming this is true, I’d respond “We agree in so many ways. I want to keep my money too. I also think others should give me a taste of some luxury. And because you inherited £90,000 and I didn’t I think you should help me. Once you’ve done that we can chat about me returning the favour. Will you write the cheque now or do a direct transfer to my account?”

If he refused to go on courses for training and wasn't proving he was actively looking fir work surely he would have had his benefits stopped?

This is one time I would report someone for having an inheritance.
Although if his parents home was sold and he was given a flat I assume the benefits office must have made a few enquiries.
Are you sure he’s not paying his own rent atm?

You’re not SERIOUSLY asking if you’re being cruel not paying for a holiday to Australia for him?? 🙈

He doesn’t see why he should work,
And you don’t see why you should give him a trip to Australia.
Honestly, just laugh at him. “Don’t be daft Jim, I’m never going to pay for you to go there- even if I win the lottery. You’re the worst sort of scrounger, and we all see it. You always thought working was a mugs game. Now look at you. No!” You have to say this whilst pissing yourself laughing! Presumably you’ve never been bought a trip to Australia or even a cup of tea.

The fact you haven’t already killed this idea dead is the shocking thing.

Really? Blimey!

Clearly he 'should' work in order to afford the luxuries he wants. He isn't entitled to your labour. How many hours would you have to work in order to pay for his month long jolly?

He is already stealing from you and me by claiming benefits he isn't entitled to. With the £90k he could buy a 1-2 bed flat outright in many parts of the country and then claim Universal Credit for his living costs. It's totally unfair that he is taking a council flat when he has the means to buy.

I'd dob him in to the DWP.

This is the most ridiculous post I've seen in a while.

Your not cruel
Tell him to pay for his own trip

Says it all

You are not being cruel by refusing him, but I do think you are cruel to be basically offering him up as some sort of Pinata for benefit bashing on here.

I don't think this is true. The DWP would easily find out about any savings this man has.
So he can't be on income related benefits.

That level of inheritance would surely be declared through official channels by the solicitors dealing with the house sale so he would find it difficult to hide it.

Like other PPs have said, if he has refused to engage with courses or job searching activities, with no LCWRA on the claim to switch off job search requirements, his benefits would have been sanctioned then, ultimately stopped. He is too young to qualify for housing benefit unless he is in temporary accommodation which is covered by HB (which it doesn’t sound like he is) or pension so would only be entitled to UC and, as I said, his claim would have been closed for not complying with his commitments.

If this thread isn’t 🐂💩 (which it could well be) he’s telling some massive porkies to someone!! I wouldn’t buy him a cup of coffee let alone a ticket to Australia!!

If he kept some of his mother's accounts open and had secondary signature access, or had access to an account in someone else's name, he could keep the money 'quiet'