To think he must have been up to something?

[waitinginforpost]

I've been with dh for 15 years and he's always taken his phone to the toilet 2 or 3 times a day and can be in there up to an hour.
I asked him what he does on his phone all this time while locked in the bathroom and he said he was trying to poo.
He then said if you like I won't take my phone in there with me then and now he doesn't and in the last say 3 months he has been leaving his phone on the bed while he goes to the toilet (toilet is in bedroom) anyway suddenly his trips to the toilet have reduced to 2-3 minutes since not taking his phone in which is a big jump from 45- 60 minutes which he was before.

It's obvious he was up to something on his phone and has stopped now it's become an issue, isn't it?

I'm aware it sounds like he can't win here but this isn't something I intend to bring up again, it's just on my mind.

No it’s because he has nothing to scroll /read/ watch while he’s sat “pooping” and he’s bored without his phone.

Probably watching porn in there.

Back in the day it was a book or a magazine. I imagine he was just taking the excuse of a shit to chill and scroll on his phone.

It's obvious he was up to something on his phone and has stopped now it's become an issue, isn't it

Far more likely he's just using the loo now and coming out whereas before he was side tracked by Facebook or whatever else he was doing

No

He's just not distracted by scrolling

If I don't take my phone (or book) with me, I'm much quicker

He was doom scrolling, playing games, looking up random shit online. Now he’s bored in there.

No one watches porn for an hour 2 to 3 times a day! He's just scrolling mindlessly

I don’t necessarily believe it’s anything nefarious. I know all the males in my house take minutes if they don’t take anything in as opposed to nearer an hour if they do take an iPad/phone in. I also know they don’t do anything untoward on their phone/iPad while in there as you can generally hear it blaring out as you walk past the toilet door, and it’s stuff like Netflix, sports, sports news, those people who seem to commentate computer games (no idea what they are called) etc. It’s really just so they can dip out of life I think, and if they can spin it out, there’s an hour where you can’t ask them to unload the washing machine or dishwasher, take out the garbage, do blah blah.

Didn’t we all have ‘loo books’ before smart phones or was that just me?

My ex used to do this. It was a deliberate way of getting out of family life and it’s a long running ‘joke’ in general that men take ages on the toilet when they have kids. It’s not funny, it’s an absolute pisstake and something that can be part of the ‘thousand cuts’ end of a relationship.

I don't get it myself, and it seems distinctly a more male habit, but it's defo a thing.

Even my mates husband who doesn't use a smart phone still has a book in there. 😆

Is it more of a male habit? You might be right. I'm a guy and I can definitely spend way to long in the bathroom if I end up down a rabbit hole online. I used to take a book back in the day, too. Doing a number 2 with no reading material is unthinkable.

OP, unless you have any other genuine reason to suspect something is wrong and he's not using it as a way to avoid household responsibility, let the guy take his phone into the toilet!

My step dad does this, drives my Mum mad but he's sat in there scrolling or playing candy crush

Who has an hour to spend on the toilet 3 times a day? Definitely make sure he's got the kids and doing stuff around the house for an hour after so you can have a break.
I personally couldn't think of a worse place to spend 3 hours of my day, how is that better than family time?

<tries to remember which prominent Mumsnetters have gone quiet recently>

Errrr, I’m currently on the loo reading mn 😬😂 others play Candy crush etc

My partner does this too, definitely a man thing. Nothing bad about it, apart from it's a massive waste of time and also sometimes other people need to use the loo!

It's to escape from family and get some peace.

Well, if by up to something, you mean doom scrolling or watching videos, yes, but I doubt there's any more to it than that.

He was probably just scrolling / wasting time on his phone and therefore sitting for ages. It’s good he’s stopped though, that kind of thing is a recipe for hemorrhoids.

😂

Yeah agree with everyone else. My DP scrolls either YouTube or DIY sites. He usually comes out looking for his wallet to buy something he's just found on Screwfix / B&Q.

Mine does it all the time, and I can hear him laughing at TikTok.

I've done it myself...went in for a wee last week and heard DH coming home early. He wasn't early, I'd just been scrolling and TikToking for an hour!

This!

Oh I can assure you they do! My porn addicted ex used to do it 6-8 times a day! He was a prolific wanker in every sense of the word.